When other's are just ticking you off, when you just cannot keep it in any longer, and you have already tried and tried; or you find something so funny but posting it topically would interrupt a conversation; OR you feel like testing your own compassionate quotient by wording it in a way so as NOT to offend;
Instead of logging out, post it here......
Here is an example: Some posts are getting soooo long that no one reads them. Ever. But one day, you find yourself bored out of your mind, and you read, and read, and read. Only to discover that person, a part of the community here, may need help that you cannot give. You want to help, but you are prevented. So, say it all here. Air concerns, but be extremely kind-because everyone you meet is fighting an uphill battle.
Understand?
If it is too long, no one will read it.
I nearly got a red mist moment at the electrical warehouse yesterday. But the "assistant" was so unbelievably useless I ended up feeling too sorry for him to say my piece. That, and I honestly didn't know where to start.
Me: "so what does that figure for the Hz on the tv specifications actually mean?"
Him: "er... it's more expensive?"
You know that moment where you're not sure if they're taking the piss - I looked at him narrowly. He looked defeated, and went on to complain that most people don't insist on getting into that much detail. Then why quote the figure?
Boy's an idiot. I'll buy a tv somewhere else. Eventually.
Cwillie it is now 10.20 and I too am still in my nighty. Yes I do still wear nighties rather than the shorts and T shirts others favor.
In rehab the medication nurse whom I labeled the medication N***i.
After I had complained to admin next time she came round she slapped my meds down and said "Nice doing business with you"
On the other side of the coin I was in Walmart yesterday dangerously cruising around in one of their uncontrollable carts and wanted a new hair curler. I parked, if you can call it that, and was looking. A nearby assistant came up and offered to help me find it. Not everyone behaves badly!!!!!!!!
Love this new thread Send
Couldn't find any so
I asked - - they didn't have them anymore
Said they had window tint instead
This is not helpful hardware men
how was the cuttlefish and toast ?
Barbara, one of my brothers managed to arrange a vacation overseas and missed my mother's 90th. What could I say? Her birthday had been in the diary, after all, since 1924; but evidently it came as a surprise to him that we'd decided to celebrate it.
My mother barely noticed his absence; and as her dementia worsened he was the one child of four that she at times completely forgot she had. I don't know if that's better or worse than minding that he wasn't there.
But as to what to say to your brothers... I don't think you can win in this situation, can you? All you can do is refuse to feel responsible.
Dated: July 5th.
Barn door was left open. Lol.
Who showed up - the 3 or 4 veterans who always work hard - and one or two who are newish and were sitting in the tv room quite a bit
The place was so crowded as they corralled all the residents in the tv room that I took mom outside so we could be quiet and catch some fireworks
One newer nurse came out to Ask if I'd seen a certain male resident - same one that told me she hadn't seen mom when I called one evening- comforting
When we returned inside for pie and ice cream there were still a few residents up so I changed the channel to NBC so
at least they could see some fireworks too
Even though staff came to help me put mom to bed I told her to
Take a break - she had enough to do that night plus she's the only one who has made a connection with mom and now showers her 2x a week
Temps are forecast at 102 for the weekend and once again the a/c is broken in mom's room which is less than 2 years old
So........I have mononucleosis.........yes........the kissing disease. But what's not so funny is I honestly think I may have had a bit of delirium, no lie. I was running a fever two nights ago and sent an e-mail to my narc sister telling her that I haven't appreciated her treatment of me the last 55 years. We then proceeded to have an e-mail conversation or should I say I had a conversation............she just deflected, denied, managed to turn things around to where my lack of perception, different communication skills are the problem. That I have shown her a lack of respect by letting things go for 55 years and that I am not allowed to bring up anything that didn't just happen yesterday. Yes.............I really must be delirious. What was I thinking? I went on line and read an excellent article about why confronting a narcissist about their narcissism and expecting an apology is akin to sticking your head into a crocodile and expecting it not to clamp it's jaws shut on your stupid head.
Next time I'm feeling delirious I'll come on here and someone can give me a pep talk before I go and do something stupid again.
Mono, isn't it funny that we were all just discussing the possibility of Ali having that? I prescribe lots of rest and vitamins, feel better soon!
I get an hour here, an hour there but really am not sleeping well still. I feel pretty rough.
But yes, I will save those e-mails for a good laugh if nothing else. Thanks!
It is never stupid to want a connection with family.
It's just some family are narcs and dangerous to your health.
It is truth you are trying to figure out with your fam.
Be careful.
We all try to go back, test the waters on occasion.
Go in with your armor on, if ever.
It's not you, it's them behaving badly.
You feel bad enough already, so protect yourself.
Don't answer when that phone rings....
Oh my God I WISH I could find the courage and the words to tell my sister what I think of her!
But that's what it comes down to, isn't it. You explain, with concrete illustrations, why you feel you have been bullied, slighted and misrepresented. She instantly comes back with a response that aims to bully, slight and misrepresent you.
The prosecution rests.
And only care-related in that this happened at a school for children with special needs.
But I love this story:
Christine Lee, assistant principal at St Anne's Community Special School in Welton, East Yorkshire, said: "A busload of Zulu warriors was very unexpected. They said 'St. Anne's?' and we said 'yes, but we weren't expecting you.'
The eight warriors then realised they were 200 miles off course for their scheduled performance at St. Ann's School for children with learning difficulties in West London. But rather than board their bus again they decided to perform their war dance and songs for the pupils.
Lesley Davis, head teacher, said "They did two performances, one for the lower school pupils and an hour in the afternoon for the upper school. The children were just glued, it was fantastic."
Mduduzi Mkize, the troupe's leader, said "The addresses got mixed up on my data sheet and we ended up here. They had never heard of us. So I spoke to them, explaining what we do, and they fell in love with the idea and wanted to see what I was talking about."
I'm just a bit sorry for the teachers and pupils in West London who *were* expecting a busload of Zulu warriors to arrive at their school. Perhaps they re-booked for another day.
Took Mom to her MRI yesterday as a follow up to the cognitive testing by the neurologists office. I leave work, pick her up (Ms. 1 speed-only) drive to the medical park, get lost trying to find the place, stop to ask for help, make a side trip for Mom to the bathroom, and finally find the place. As we are checking in, they tell me, "Oh, your doctor cancelled the MRI because we are not in-network." And they had the nerve to blame in on the doctor's office, saying, they were supposed to call me.
I think everyone here would be very impressed with my self control. I was NOT HAPPY....it's not easy to drop everything, clear my schedule, get my Mom and take her to an appointment that doesn't exist.
TODAY....I'm at Mom's memory care room with the cable guy trying to figure out if it's the cable or the tv on the fritz. (mind you, we've spent a lot of time together in the past two weeks (mom and I, not the cable guy) and it's been fine.) But I could see a strange look on her face when she walked to the room and found us there (even though I had just said hello to her down the hall) almost as if we startled her. The door was wide-open, but something about us being there troubleshooting her TV set her off.
For the next hour she wanted to argue with me about why she wasn't living with me. I successfully distracted her a few times, got her to quiet down with my new line, "I'll look into it." but she was like a dog with a bone.
No answer makes her happy, so eventually she started yelling, and eventually I said, I'm leaving, and she yelled at me to get out.
and she had such a great day today at the bowling alley with her caregiver, and we had a blast Sunday at the movies to see Gone with the Wind. AND IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER. I hate it for her, I really do, and I'm not going to lie, I hate it for me too.
At one point she said, "I know you just can't wait till I drop dead and you no longer have to worry about me." So I asked her, "You really think I act like I can't wait for you to keel over?" And she said, "sometimes you act that way." So I responded, "like right now, I'm here trying to fix your TV because I can't wait till you die?"
She got quiet at my response because how could she argue...the one shred of logic left in her brain realized her tactic lacked merit.
as a side note ***deep down I'm worrying that maybe I do act that way, and I feel badly.
I told her how sorry I was that she was unhappy and that I wished I could fix it.
You are doing *such* a good job. There is a special place in heaven for people who can handle their loved ones patiently, truthfully and kindly all at the same time.
And those feelings you're worrying about, the kernel of truth in your mother's accusation? Here's a thought: you no more want your mother to die than your mother herself wants to get to the end of her life. That is to say, a tiny little bit, you both do - but only for completely understandable and compassionate reasons.
Hugs again. Focus on the good bits, because they're just as real.
The last passenger off was a little old lady and she looked him straight in the eye"Sonny can i ask you a question? "Of course Ma'm" he replied. "Can you tell me if we landed or were we shot down?"
After an hour of this the pilot comes on the PA and says "We're just going to try for a landing here in Calgary, just shoot under the storm and see if that doesn't work." (Whatever she said was something to that effect, and the words "shoot under" have rang in my head for a decade haha...) I was scared! lol! So were the others! We were looking around at each other saying "we're going to TRY to land!?" Well, we landed, but it was the worst flight experience ever. I suppose the pilot knew her skills and if she thought the plane could land, then everything was fine. No one else knew that. :-)
These are interesting and good stories!