When other's are just ticking you off, when you just cannot keep it in any longer, and you have already tried and tried; or you find something so funny but posting it topically would interrupt a conversation; OR you feel like testing your own compassionate quotient by wording it in a way so as NOT to offend;
Instead of logging out, post it here......
Here is an example: Some posts are getting soooo long that no one reads them. Ever. But one day, you find yourself bored out of your mind, and you read, and read, and read. Only to discover that person, a part of the community here, may need help that you cannot give. You want to help, but you are prevented. So, say it all here. Air concerns, but be extremely kind-because everyone you meet is fighting an uphill battle.
Understand?
If it is too long, no one will read it.
cw - career. spouse, kids...look at them as gifts, not accomplishments, then look for the gifts you have been given. There are times a great long empty tunnel looks appealing. It can be decorated any way you like. It's the journey...
What I'm struggling with now is just a mixed bag of feelings, emotions, anger, sadness, frustration.............you name it. Here I am in my Hubs and I's new condo in a new neighborhood, which may as well be a new country, cause it's all foreign to me. He's been away working and I find myself obsessively cleaning all the time and getting overly worked up about stupid things like marks on the laminate flooring. I found myself thinking today that I wished I was still living in the 60- year-old place that we moved from. At least I didn't feel this need to keep it immaculate. I probably get that from my Mom who was a clean freak. But, I get so bothered by it. Then there's the not working out thing. I was anorexic when I was young and obsessing about every bite I eat and exercising really never went away. I don't starve myself anymore but I've never been comfortable with just eating what I want without panicking about it.
I'd better stop there or I'll really start to sound like a looney tune. Suffice it to say that I think I need to change my way of thinking soon cause my thoughts are destructive to me right now. But thank-you all for taking the time to read me and give me feedback. It really helps to know that I'm not alone.
It is only when people come together as on this forum and feel free to share the real things in their lives, that they begin to understand who they really are and recognise things that can be changed.
You have been through a lot and still have not compleated grieving for your mother. Now you are in a new sterile environment and don't know anybody or anything.
Like Golden I am happy to be alone and have never enjoyed socializing. Wherever i have moved i have made one good friend, more than one and i feel especially blessed. Another great blessing is the love of my children.
You are used to an old house and the inevitable dust and drafts. Now everything is brand spanking new and you feel guilty if there is so much as a spot on the counter. it is like having a new car and the distress when it gets it's first scratch. I used to be like that, everything had to be spotless, but now I can let it go.
Look outside and smell the flowers, in my case we are still admiring the snow, but that too will pass and when it melts I will see that my daffodils are already sprouting a few inches above the ground.
Do you have the strength to go out and volunteer for something.. I used to volunteer for the Arts council and the local craft co-op and made crafts to sell. About 12 years ago I took an interest in buying houses and flipping them. the part i really enjoyed was making them feel my own. I never brought anything that i did not feel i could live in. i had total freedom to do whatever i wanted. Some I did sell but others ended up as rentals which was not very successfull, the last one will hopefully sell this year.
There is a big world out there Gershun waiting for you to explore when you are ready.
Move more, think less.
Make a hair appointment now, and go. You never know when those hubs will show up and surprise you in mid-february. He will like it if you look fabulous, even if you don't feel that way.
What you have written will not be easy to recover from, or a quick fix. Your thoughts and emotions can stop you from doing anything. It does not have to be life changing, or help others, or be very important at all, just start somewhere.
This is your intervention. Lay out the clothes you are wearing tonight. And if you must walk-in to a hair salon, do that in the morning. I want to see some hair flying! It is a start, often suggested by therapists. Is there a place at the mall? Go there and have coffee first, remembering your Mom sitting there. If you find a teddy bear, in a bag with flowers..and some chocolate.....buy yourself something you like. Your kitties are counting on you. (They don't get any chocolate whatsoever).
If not, if you are stubborn and won't actually DO anything suggested, what do you want to do? Don't make me come up there....Canada is a very far away place.
Becky,
After reading your post about that neighbors attitude, and stupid words, I turned over in my grave and I am not even dead yet! Reminders of what is similarly happening now in my neighborhood, but I cannot say.
The retreat at the lake is the best idea yet. You can recover there. Hope you and PJ are ok. He said that to get her outta there, right?
We are doing great, right? I loved getting out, the clouds were beautiful, then ominous.
Trying not to take myself too seriously, because life is too serious to be taken seriously.
Do you know what kind of owl it is?
These days I don't even take a shower on Saturday and now I have to get dressed up and go out by myself
How about that 17 year old Chloe Kim?
Figure skating-a favorite!
I used to ask the Viking what she was giving up
For lent - sex or chocolate?
Viking strong
Most everything now falls to me, as my responsibility.
I think that coping with so many responsibilities would be ok, without the added misinformation he brings, like throwing a wrench in the works. Maybe if I just stopped asking him, believing him, sharing with him.
I have been in the middle of cooking, he is causing trouble, so I turn off the fire and go into another room.
I wish I had some helpful advice... on another thread Gershun was mentioning she has a big purse available to smack the clueless upside the head, shall we send her down?
Your support means so much to me. It is really great to check in and see you wrote to me.
However, not sure I need a purse to solve the problem. If looks could kill, he would be.
Do you put something heavy in the purse first?
It is likely too late for him to give his POA, DPOA to me.
In a few years, I will be needing a POA person.
You asked us to post about frustrations NICELY.
People, please use periods to separate your sentences. My poor pea brain can't absorb your thoughts that are all run together. I wind up clicking out of the thread cause it's too much trouble to chop it up.
There, was I nice enough?