O.k here it goes,I'll keep the first paragraph short. mom has PPA,sis and I havePOA so does her fiduciary.moms sister come from Michigan and raises hell. before getting into that Sis I,have gotten mom 2 inhome care ladies who we trust and mom finally likes, we have thrown meds,chemicals etc..away for moms safety,we have meds she takes in a lock box every one comes for 3hrs aday (one person a day) including me on sat sis sun. everyone knows we love mom and neighbors know us and I actually work for most of them they know we are doing a good job. O.k. Aunty blows into town and has an attitude because we mentioned assisted living just looking into it. to add fuel to fire she opens mail and see's an adendum sis got a loan for a house down pmt. and I'm taking the car which mom can't use, aunt flips out saying we arent out for the benefit of mom! and yells at moms Lawyer on the phone and demands a meeting ...first off the loan for sis was decided when mom was still sharp,and the whitness was moms fiduciary and I . Now Aunty says MOM wants us OFF legal pappers as POA's and wants all her investments spent for in home care until every cent is gone! and when its gone then use her $1/2 million of long term care! my dad is litterally rolling in ____ so to speakhate saying that. Dads intentions were LTC when needed,(he had alz) mom be comfy with $s and sis and I have a nestegg when they both pass-on. Aunt is saying mom said this their is know way in the world! so lawyer has to proceed with taking us off. aunt also wants to get all activity with moms financials! is it rotten in Michigan??we are fuming ! not just because of POA and $ dispercement but who in their right mind would reverse a good thing? god we go to moms lawyer in the morning what can we do say? HELP... We in gods eyes are trust worthy and honest and love our mom so much, and aunty is upsetting her so bad.:(
It sounds like your mother's needs and wishes are being met. She is lucky to have the resources to do this, and she is certainly lucky to have daughters who love her so unconditionally. Very often with chronic, expesive final diseases the resources are all used for the person's care, and there is little or nothing to leave as an inheritance. This is a sad fact of modern life. People live longer. More of them get expensive diseases.
If you know it to be your mother's wish not to have a feeding tube, and if it is writing in her health care directive, I wish you the strength to follow through on her wishes. This is a very hard responsibility. If your mother can communicate her wishes, have her confirm that she still feels the same way she did when she wrote the directive.
Best wishes to you as you deal with these difficult realities.
they have a nurse come in to check mom and a physical therapist ( mom has lost ability to walk but can stand) (part of PPA) and has a speech therapist for ? her swallowing problems?, a S.Th. is ridiculous for speech she cannot regain .
An elevator type thing for 2 steps into the house because of the wheelchair, a hospital bed, etc...But geeze talk about health care, moms $500g LTC will last maybe 1 1/2 years, compared to 8-9 years in a facility. so I guess we (sis and I arent going to be beneficiary's of anything . This is because of our Aunt and the Fiduciary (this is a profession ) We like mom having to live in her home but Fiduciary is not looking at finances as she should be, at least the elderly I work for are telling me this is wrong, I reaaly don't know, and am happy if my mom is happy, but soon I will have to tell all that no intro-tubes for feeding will not be allowed and I don't think I can do that but thats in her health directives of my power of att. paper of health. I'm ill.
so how___? you so good- she is declining fast, she falls every 3 or 4 days!
we try to keep her sitting; I guess we need to lock her down for gods sake; she is running to a boyfriends house in the middle of the night! LONG story of suspected abuse....can't say anything else, she is under.his influence.
I can understand that your Aunt, newly retired, now has more time and that she cares for her sister. I'm sure she means well and wants the best for your mom, but it is a little unnerving that she would take her home and not advise you.
You should talk to your lawyer about this. Keep him advised and ask his opinion of how best to proceed. Ask him about contacting the local law enforcement in your Aunt's city to do a "check the welfare" call. I don't know if this is the best thing to do, but maybe your attorney could offer some advise. It's hard to know if it's better to sit this one out or speak up.
Good luck. Cattails.
I had this weird feeling she would do this. ugh that woman is really under my skin. We went by moms sunday(easter) aunt mom were out. monday aunt was leaving and we were happy to see the sky blue again. Then the monday caregiver showed at moms and mom was not their. apparently Aunty told moms fiduciary that sis and I said it was fine if she took mom 2000miles away. We told her weeks before no not good for mom. I don't know what is aunty's problem. We know mom will be safe in loving hands; but when she gets home she will be confused and we'll have to get her back on track.
So, while she probably has no legal authority at all, I can understand where Aunt is coming from. Note that I am not saying she is right ... just that her intentions may be noble.
Is Mom still competent to make decisions from a legal point of view? If so, her lawyer will (I assume) follow her wishes -- not your aunt's, not your sister's, not yours, and not even your late father's. Mom gets to decide how she wants to use her money, and who she wants to manage it.
If the PPA is advanced to the point where she cannot communicate her wishes or understand what is communicated to her, then I would imagine the current POA will stand.
I imagine that this will all be resolved or at least the issues defined during the meeting with the lawyer. Stay calm. Be truthful. State your concerns and observations. Try not to get defensive or accusatory. Try to stick with stating facts. The lawyer isn't a judge who can decide who is right or wrong. He or she is your mother's advocate and will be acting in accordance with her wishes, and advising her from this or her knowledge of laws and potential consequences.
It is not required for an elder to leave nest eggs or inheritances. If Mother wants to remain in her home with expensive in-home care as long as she can afford it, that will need to be respected (if she is in her right mind). I don't know how old she is or what her prognosis is. It sounds like her long-term-care policy might last, what, 5 ot 6 years?
I sincerely hope this works out for everybody. I hope that when the dust settles you can still have at least a civil relationship with your mother's sister.
Please let us know how it goes at the lawyer's.