So the case manager lady came to my Mom's and Step dad's house and all of a sudden my Step dad say's I can take care of your Mom the week you are gone and I said no you can't you are always on your computer and have your course on Fridays and you don't know how to cook I have been taking care of you also he said I am not an imbecile I said I know your not then the lady said well do you need help or not to my Mom I look at her like you better speak up or your stuck with him saying he is going to help and then doesn't like in the past my Mom finally said yes I need help for that week then the case manager said well we can only help with your issues which is my Mom if you want someone to cook your Husbands food then you will have to hire private care which is more expensive. My Step dad said I will cook my dinner. I thought to myself then why haven't you? Hello! Anyways feeling frustrated and guilty that I am going away. I am worrying about my Mom already and I am in debt up to my ears, it's not funny, but I needed to get away. Need someone's advice please read my older post so you kinda know what's going on with me and my Mom and Step dad
Then go on your vacation and forget about it. Do not answer your phone unless it is the police. Accept no calls or messages from caregiver or dad.
You are no good without a break. Take this time to relax and rest and enjoy life. Then think about setting boundaries when you come home so you can live your life and parents can plan for their short term and long term care needs.
Step-Dad eating: Your mom's taken care of, but he's not. I suspect you might be a little worried about him. How about TV dinners?
Step-Dad/Mom Cancelling the Caregiver: Would it help if you paid a non-refundable deposit? In my family, paying a deposit works for these situations because if someone cancels, the deposit is wasted. We hate to waste. In my family, that works as leverage because nothing is as shameful as being wasteful, not even looking a bit weak. I'm sure it won't work for all families, but am just passing along the idea to you.
overwhelm - you don't have to continue to do all of this if it is negatively affecting your health. If you are having chest pains get to the doctor. Can you arrange to get some help on a regular basis?
I am sorry that your relationship is not going well. Your man was very supportive before. Don't let caregiving come between you and him. You sound really stressed out. Do you have a chance to go to counselling or a care givers group or somewhere for support for you? There is nothing selfish about treating yourself kindly.
Big ((((((hugs)))))) and enjoy your vacation - meanwhile put in the blue tights, tuna cans and tiara and a big smile. You can do this!!!!!