it is in our DNA to do this! not everyone can, so unfair and still hurts!
Rather than dwell on the abandonment....
We have to think of ourselves as the gifted ones, WE possess a special quality few can get close to having!
I, all too well, know easier said than done!!! Just a different way to look at it maybe!!!
I sure know I am no Mariah Carey, Elvis, etc....and could not become one, if my or my parents life depended on it!!
"Everybody is a genius but if you judge a fish by his ability to climb a tree, will always think the fish stupid"-Mark Twain
so I guess It is all situation specific!!!
thanks for the debate!!
I don't word things the greatest. what I mean to portray is "stepping up" is a talent...a sign of good character . Not all people have good character but maybe it is chemical or genetic or some peeps just are better at certain things if i am gonna buy some BS im gonna buy the BS that makes me feel good!!
just It is the only thing that works for me... to focus on me...I have uniquely quality that I am a star at...taking care of ma!!! but It mite be easy to buy it for me cause I don't have a job to get out to that makes me feel productive. but also just to clarify..it is not the smell or poop it is emotionally they cannot cope with the inevitable outcome so they deny. disconnect and withdraw in every aspect from the process...if they don't have to take part in any way than it isn't happening.....Kinda thing...so never meant it was right just survival skill, no disrespect intended.
Plus, if our siblings really, really wanted to help, they would say, "Hey, sis, since I can't be there to do my share of helping the parents, I can give you $$ to help out." I finally have 2 siblings doing that so that I can hire someone to come in on Saturdays until 3pm.
I had 2 teenage girls in high school who would automatically help me change my mom's pampers. These girls used to choke and gasp when mom had pooped. I had to tell them that it's all in the breathing. Breathe in wrong, the poop can choke you to death. =) And these are teens. So...our adult siblings can sure help if they wanted to. It's all on the "IF"....
I've learned to accept things "as is." and do my best not to resent them. Not worth it....
If it were a talent, as you say, we would, could, should be a bit proud of our talent. I feel so bad for people who are tortured by anger at siblings who don't help. Y'all have every right to be angry about the unfairness. but anger is such a nasty exhausting place to live.
Shoutout to my sibs: My brother, sister and I have our issues, but for the 8 months of caring for my father, each of us did our part. I know that my mother would have been proud of us. I give her most of the credit.
I don't mind being here, really. The only bad thing is that I get bored and lonely. If there were a lot of fun things to do and I knew people, it would be tolerable. Caregiving can be such a lonely thing.
kinda was thinking of those who have huge problems with siblings just dumping the whole thing on one, abandoning the situation. that is the way the social worker explained it some are just not equipped so there solution is to withdraw! like myself!
And I'm not jealous of my siblings at ALL. In fact, I just work harder to cram everything into my life that I can, and I DO. Who better to be the caring person than one who expresses emotion deeply and creatively? We are special.
I gladly skip the famous part, however, I wouldn't mind the extra money!
got this b***h and she wont pack hod.
wont saw no brick wont make no mud.
meh, you get the point. just read my online medical records from the va and the phsyc said i had poor insight and poor judgement. well guess what brainiac, i dont have a bald head with moles all over it. insight means you can solve problems instantaniously. no thanks, id rather think them thru and get a lasting solution.. or better yet rethink them altogether. poor judgement? well hes got me there..