I'm a 55 yr. old male looking after my 81 yr. old mother.I have 3 sisters that never come around even though they live within a 15 minute drive.I moved in because my mother needed help and I'm single so I have been with her for 3 yr. now.I work across the country but spend the winter as a caregiver and living on my savings.This gets harder ever year and I finally had to go on medication for stress.She is hard of hearing,has arthritis and I have to do the outdoor work as well as the domestic duties.My sisters are of no help at all and I feel like I'm being pushed to my limits and beyond.Just having a place to vent is a help.
I have a question, and I hope I write it in a way that is kind and not negative! I ask it only because I have a tendency to jump into tasks like this, and start doing it all, and do not know how to ask for help, or how to delegate tasks. Have you asked your sisters for any help?
Perhaps you could ask them for some specific things...like letting them know you need to be away from the house for a period of time, and asking them to fill in. Or, asking them to come sit with her on a recurring schedule. Perhaps they could trade off to do some of the grocery shopping, or take mom to the doctor.
They may be assuming that you are okay with the status quo, and so don't offer themselves for anything.
Is it financially possible to offload some of the mundane tasks? Having someone come in and clean the house weekly, having someone come and do yard maintenance (mowing, trimming, sweeping), having someone come in once a week to care for mom's hygiene might all be helpful to free you up a bit.
I am a caregiver for my 88 year old mom. I have 2 brothers who live in the area and a sister too. I feel so alone in this as the only one that calls is my sister. My mom is healthy but she is 88 and it's hard for me to look at her - it must be my fear of losing her. I feel like I have already lost the vibrant woman that she was. I am sad that your sisters never come around. Just because you are single, as I am, is no reason not to call and visit to check on her. They may regret this. This site has been wonderful to share feelings with others who feel the same way. Best of luck and you are not alone.
As for the family thing, I don't know why one child ends up with parent care while the siblings "run free". But it's a fact of life, and all of those on this site are the kids doing the caregiving. So you are not alone. Hang out here with us and you will find comfort.