I went to see daddy today to watch a football game with him. He was happy to see me at first then he started getting agitated and started ignoring me. I didn't have to go up there, I wanted to. I thought he'd enjoy being able to watch the game with me. It really hurt my feelings that he treated me that way. I mean I know it's the disease but he could have at least tried to enjoy the visit and the game.
I'm so upset that I continually keep getting my feelings hurt by his actions or words. Am I crazy for thinking he could try to act happy to see me? I guess I'm expecting too much from him? I just feel so damn depressed especially because I let it get to me. I've always been a very emotional person and I cried all the way home. I'm freakin' tired of crying over him. I feel like I'm at the point of saying screw it, if he's gonna act this way I just won't go see him - make him feel bad about why I'm not there.
Good luck to you, don't give up yet!
I have to make another statement here: Working in a Memory Care community as a Front Desk Receptionist, I've noticed something interesting. There are residents who display loving behavior towards everyone, and they get lots of visitors, sometimes twice a day. There are other residents who display angry/aggressive behavior, and they still get visitors, but way less. Who wants to witness such behavior all the time? It makes those visits horrible! One lady developed dementia very young; she's only around 59 NOW, and acts out a lot in the community. She throws over chairs when she's angry or confused/frustrated, and gets on the other residents nerves. Her husband comes to visit her and takes her to lunch/dinner, and when she sees him, she brightens up immediately turning her usual scowl or confused look into a smile. She comes back from the meal happy and content. I think that's why he continues to take her out.........she is HAPPY when she sees him.
We get what we give, I suppose, even with the miserable disease of dementia at play. Why put ourselves in the path of the tornado if we don't have to? Limited visits are the order of the day when the behaviors are hurtful.
I went to see my mother in Memory Care a few weeks ago. She was sitting out in the garden in her wheelchair & was happy to see me at first, just like your dad was with you. Within 5 minutes, however, she got into a very foul mood and started acting just awful, saying terrible things and hyping herself up into a state of agitation. I SHOULD have gotten OUT of there. Instead, I stayed and tried to talk her off the ledge, which is always a mistake. I know that, yet I STILL do it. The whole visit turned into a total disaster, needless to say, and I left there feeling completely miserable.
The next time I see her in such a state, I am turning on my heel and LEAVING. Immediately. No if-ands-or-buts. I know that they're suffering a disease. But WE have to do whatever WE can to minimize OUR exposure to the hurt feelings that go along with it.
In other words, I feel your pain. Best of luck