Parents have been living with me for nearly a year-my dad is 90 and my mom is 85. She has some dementia issues but the worst thing right now is not sleeping. She's on trazadone, but it doesn't seem to work for her. So naturally she is bummed out. She has not had a pleasant life and has made statements that she wishes she would never wake up or that she really has nothing to live for. My husband says not to take it personally and most of the time I don't, but it still stings. I am the youngest of 4, even though I consider myself an only child most of the time that happens to have older siblings haha! Anyway, thanks for the vent. It could be worse and I just need to count my blessings.
I have felt just like you.I just need someone to talk to that "gets" my situation,just to vent and listen and care and I couldn't leave my Mom either but I found this wonderful website and it has helped me in so many ways,so many days.Agingcare has been my lifesaver while I still had Mom and now that she's gone.These fellow caregiver's "get" me.Hang in there and Bless you for helping your folks.Lu
I also think the doctor needs to know that your mom's trazadone is not working so maybe another drug can be tried. There are a lot of anti-depressants on the market and sometimes it is trial and error before finding the right one.
To the above, I would add having a heart to heart talk with your husband about your parents' increasing need for more care as time goes on and what your plans are going to be. At some point, your mother's dementia will become far more than you can care for. So, I suggest looking at the big picture.
You know them, but, it may be that at a certain point, they can't keep driving the train. More sensible and practical measures may be needed.
So you also take care of your FIL? I wish you all the best, but, that's a lot of work and responsibility for one person and no help? I'd have to fix that real fast. I'd be concerned about my own health holding up. Clearly, the seniors you care for do not understand the severity of the situation. I'd explore the options very soon. Good luck.
I know that people with dementia may say things that they don't mean and that they may not even know what they are saying. I'd keep that in mind. Hang in there.
Can you get some outside help with your parents to help you out? That's a lot for one person.