This may not be the forum for this but I' have relied on this forum for some time.
I will get straight to the point. If your spouse asks you not to wear makeup, would you not wear makeup? If your spouse asks you not to wear shorts (not talking Daisy Duke type shorts) to work, would you not do so? If your spouse asks you not to speak to other men, would you not do so? If this list keeps going, would you keep going?
I do try to compromise for example with just lipstick, mascara, and nail polish.
If I wear my hair curly one day when I am not with him but then straight the next day I am with him, he says I did not put as much effort in as I did the previous day.
I am so tired of my spouse telling me what he does not like about me. Of course when he is telling me something it comes with anger. My counselor suggests giving up on my marriage after working with me for 6 months. We did a few couple's sessions. I have suggested hubby go back to individual counseling to work on his control and jealously issues in the past. I don't do is against him.
If you want to lose weight, it should be about him. If I want to start looking more attractive, it should be about him.
Stop going to counseling; talking to someone who sees that your husband has a personality disorder and won't change is only going to frustrate you.
If, on the other hand, you believe that marriage is a voluntary partnership of two equal parties, you need to find out if that's the contract HE feels he's entered into. Why does he think he has a right to dictate how you dress, who you speak to?
Do you have the right to dictate the same to him?
My counselor got frustrated with me last week. They stress leaving. I'm not there and do counseling to help keep me from going insane and/or choking him out. I believe they are tired of listening.
Another example: My friend came into town, and we had a two hour lunch at a fast food joint. He was informed of everything. But the next day he explained how I was so wrong and that I should have asked permission instead of telling him of my plans.
So I guess the next question is, how do you deal? I feel like I am going crazy. I heard on TV the solution is silence and playful sex. Lots of silence going on but not much other.
I don't see how we are going to get 44 years under our belt. Next month should be our 17 year celebration but lol
Maybe you should just kick your husband in the butt. That's what a lot of them need.
I remember way back decades ago, the comic Jerry Lewis left his wife of 35 years because when he looked at her it made him feel old. Good heavens, does he have a clown mirror in his room that makes him look thinner and younger?