I found out yesterday that an aunt I'm close with (mom's sister, who's she's close with), died yesterday morning. She lived out of state and her husband has already made arrangements for cremation, but how do I explain this to mom being it was so sudden?
For those of you who have read some of my other posts, my mom is extremely selfish and controlling. So this is just going to make today all the more difficult. Mom had a sister die 10 years ago. She took it hard. Then her mother died not too long after that. Now her last sister who she was also close too died suddenly.
I'm sick at the thought of having to tell her. Her reaction could go one of many ways and due to her past behaviors it may be a rocky road now for mom. (ie, to get attention get sick so people come running to her side, etc)
I called the assisted living to let them know and to work out a plan to keep dad away while I tell mom. Dad with Alzheimer's is too protective of her and won't let her grieve or get ticked off at me for upsetting mom. I just don't want to do this and its 3 1/2 hrs til kickoff of news. I don't even know if I can tell her without crying my eyes out because I loved my aunt dearly. I was trying to get her up to our state to care for her since she had no family down there.
Well off to another day and another migraine and tears.
So she's had in the past 10 years, her oldest sister's death to deal with 10 years ago, her mother and father's death, her husband (my dad) have a stroke then see him with Alzheimer's (refused medical treatment for him), and now your youngest sister's death.
For someone who has never had to cope with life, this is huge. She's actually gone down hill since dad's whole thing happened. Very tragic. My aunt will be truly missed by me. I appreciated her apology and told her I loved her after every phone call. She also knew I was willing to bring her up to Michigan and either prepare my parent's house for her care or move her into assisted living with my parents. She just knew...
Thanks again Bennie!
Jamie
What has been interesting, for those of you who read my posts about mom, that because she was such a control freak she kept me away from family for 20 years or so. In talking with them regarding my aunt's death, I'm finding out some real interesting things and that they understand about mom. Probably why they all distanced themselves.
Its just so sad when I look at the whole picture of things that mom has done, and now with the loss of her sister... sigh. It's just going to be another rough go. Just when I started getting her adapted to assisted living.