Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
Do you have asthma?
((((Hugs)))).
Thank you, guys. I needed this right now.
My PCP thinks all of my breathing issues lately are related to sinus infection/sinusitis. I'll see what the ENT says and go from there. I've never had asthma, but it has felt like that to me at times. Constriction, I can't get the air in there.
I think I'm beyond any practical advice, though I appreciate the kind intentions.
I was at my doctor's yesterday. Seems I have to wait this out and see what specialists say.
I'll be ok. I have allergy & anti anxiety meds to help, as needed. My biggest issue is not sleeping due to inability to breathe well and having panic attacks/hot flashes at night.
And then the crying/breathing attacks during the day. Whew. It's been a rough ride. Thanks for the compassion and support, all. Much appreciated.
Feel better soon! And Xmas, don't push yourself.
Or it could be the dreaded M too. That really threw me for a loop.
I hope you start feeling better fast.
ali - health issues, oh dear. Re holidays - be sure to do what is good for you. Toss the FOG out the window.
I have had something similar to waking with panic attacks and I have had a lifetime of sinus infections. They can be very painful. I have found pseudephedrine to be a lifesaver. Just be sure you keep well hydrated. I can't sleep with a stuffy nose either. I fnd that pseudoephedrine with ibuprofen does a good job. Another thng that has helped me is mucinex (guaifenesin) which loosens the mucus so the sinuses empty out better.
Like I said I have woken up with my heart racing and panicking when I was around "that" age. Getting on thyroid meds helped. So did a bit of ativan and eventually an antidepressant which was one which also relieved anxiety. Never had hot flashes. Hope you get the female stuff sorted out. The difficulty getting a breath might be a sleep apnea caused by the stuffiness. I have that occasionally when I am more stuffed up that usual. It's very unpleasant.
Hugs and prayers. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate.
I'm going old school with saline nasal washouts, deep breathes & wet wash clothes.
But a prescription for a beach holiday would fix it all in a jiffy... Maybe adding a drink with a tiny umbrella in it 😁🍹
Glad, I think it's RSV, but who knows? I have lung funk as well.
Golden, thanks for the input and support. Really, I'm doing just fine as school has ended, and my schedule is much lighter, but then this dumb sinus/sleep/breathing/panic business has been driving me crazy for a couple of months. I'm thankful it wasn't this bad before, like during school.
This new panic is just a mystery to me. It started around July, but I figured it was due to school... but then it kept going. And the idea of being on edge and highly emotional during the holidays -- the one time a year I'm around family -- is freaking me out. I wish my psych would prescribe something like five benzos for emergencies, but no matter how much I plead my reasoning, he won't do it.
You don't. Why not take it easy on yourself? Maybe psych would prescribe taking a break from your family this year. You really do not have to do it, you know.
Where, if anywhere, would you like to go? Even a staycation.
beatty - sorry that you have these issues too. Your solutions are good. I find deep breathing helps several things.
ali - I just clicked that my sinus issues stem from allergies - mainy food allergies but also mold, pollen, things that float around in the air. I had terribly painful sinuses accompanied by sore throats for years and years which greatly improved when I stopped eating foods with gluten, and dairy. That may be an avenue for you to pursue. I still have stuffiness but nothing like as bad.
As far as hoidays go, I am with glad. You don't HAVE to spend time with your family during holidays. You really don't. You are allowed to put yourself and your wellbeing first, whatever that means. I didn't attend the funerals for either my fatherr or my mother for that reason. The sky didn't fall in. A few noses were out of joint, but they recovered and I avoided some very stressful times. I just didn't need any more of the fam dram.
sharyn - how are you doing?
"Dear Santa, How about a functional family for all, this year?
Xxxooo"
"Believe in your elf."
"A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it."
"How many of us have looked at our family and thought, "Well, aren't we just two clowns short of a circus?""
"I can't keep calm, my family is crazy."
We all knew you are one smart lady!
“I don’t always manipulate, lie and gaslight.
But when I do, it’s your fault.”
She responded by asking if it was her lone Christmas gift from me. I responded by saying unless I see something extra that I think she would like and reminded her of how I found an extra Christmas gift after I found her initial gift from me one Christmas a few years ago.
She then responded by suggesting one of the local shops and saying "you don't wanna be without a gift at Christmas." I noticed almost immediately she was being passive aggressive. She almost acted like I told her I wasn't getting her anything for Christmas.
I found out not too long after telling her about the delay that the gift will arrive a couple of days after Christmas instead of days after New Years. She once again responded by noting it's important to have a gift at Christmas. I told her I was going fix it and I'd find her something extra.
She then talked about the hat and polo she got me last year and I didn't wear them at all. I told her I wore the hat she got me a few times and she ultimately didn't see me wear the hat when I did.
With the burnout and all she has and continues to put me through, she should be lucky she's getting ANYTHING from me.
Have you found a therapist yet?
Why do you buy your mother a Christmas gift? That's an actual question. Think about WHY you do b it.
Is it because you WANT to or because she expects it?
Therein lies your problem.
If she wants to get you a gift for Christmas she should check herself into respite for an entire month. Or at least stop milking her cancer diagnosis 6 years after it was taken care of and try to get off her ass and do something to help herself so you can get your life back.
This really has all the ear marks of becoming a Norman Bates situation with you and your mother. Hopefully you don't own a motel.
And don't get her another gift for Christmas. Stop indulging this grown adult baby for gods sakes.