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Yoda,

I don’t blame you one bit for being frustrated. You have been through a lot. Not to mention, that you have cared for your wife as well.

Sending hugs, love, support and prayers your way.
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Oh ali. I am so sorry.I have more experience with relationships with people with personality disorders than I like and have finally concluded that it is not possible to have a "normal" relationship with them. It might go along well for quite a long while but eventually the insecurities, emotional over reactions, misunderstandings, and so on, surface.

They are very good at convincing others that they have been wronged, while you stand by and think "What did I do to cause this?" And find yourself without fault in this particular case.

My only solution has been to accept how it is - the leopard's spots don't change - and distance myself for protection. it has taken me a long long while to get there,

Know that we know you didn't act as she has said. Hopefully learn something about your relationship with her and protect yourself from future troubles.

I have experienced some of what you did with regard to the mold issue and am very wary of doctors as a result of that and other things I've come up against. So I understand. I've learned to trust my guts and do a lot of research about any health issues I have. Wish it were not so, but it is.

Take care of you ali, always.

Many hugs (((((((❤))))))))
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today's wisdom quote:

"A toxin-free life is so liberating."
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My mom is always complaining that I'm achy and she never ached when she was my age.

Let's see mom, did you clean , do grocery, plant flowers for 2 homes when you were my age!

Yesterday we went out, got back and did 4 trips carring her stuff in and out of the house, by the 5th trip she was outta the car and I walked her in .

Nothing is ever enough, nothing is ever good enough, I'm really getting over that. I use to get so upset that she didn't see how hard I work but Her brain is broke. It is what it is. Just wanted to do a little venting

And be greatfull for the 💪 I've gained the last few years!!
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today's wisdom quote #2

"Know when to give up and have a margarita."
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today's final wisdom quote:

"Be someone who makes you happy."
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😉 today i’m taking a holiday from being wise.

okey-dokey, off i go and do some foolish things.
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Yeah not the best week for me, my sister is having a lot of issues and she keeps calling mom and venting to her. I wish she wouldn't, mom doesn't need the problems. Moms golden boy is in Iceland with my x on a photography shoot. And when my brothers away mom is already not her best, then on top of that, my sister calls her at 7 this am to tell her her husband is having very major surgery today. Might loss his leg.

Also she called her 3 days ago to tell her her husband's niece, boyfriend and 1 year only was killed by a DD. Oh and my uncle is in the hospital after he was going wrong way on the north way

Mom would of known none of this is my sister didn't call her, but never show to help. And I'll have to pick up the peices

And mom seems a lot more frail this week.

That sums up my great week.
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useful comebacks against people who’re toxic/abusive/mean towards you:

"Wow, you're really killing it with the bullying recently, everyone's been really impressed."


“You’re just jealous.”


“You will never die of brain cancer.”


“What is your age? Just wondering.”


When somebody says, “Do you know who my father is?” Just reply, “Why? Your mom didn’t tell you?”


“Looks like someone hasn’t been to Paris in a while.”
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🙂 today's wisdom quote:

"You gotta stop watering dead plants."
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today's wisdom quote #2

"Know the difference between being patient and wasting your time."
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nacy - that was similar to the dynamics between my mother, my sister and me. I was the care giver, Sis wouldn't lift a finger to help mother, but she would criticize and stir mother up. Anything I told sis went straight to mother whether it as suitable or wise or not. Once a nurse called me to tell me that mother's liver numbers were not great. At that point I was still sharing medical info with my sis.

Sure enough within the month mother writes both of us that she is dying because her liver is failing, In fact her liver was fine for he rest of her life - about another 10 years. That was when I stopped sharing medical info with sis. I did notice that the one thing she didn't pass on to mother was the BPD diagnosis. She just brushed that aside saying "Oh, mother has a few emotional problems but nothing serious". Right!!!

Sorry your mum is looking frail,. It's hard seeing them decline. Hope this week is better.

boj - some good ones! One thing I have learned to do - and this works for telephone scams as well as toxicity is ask the person to repeat what they said - then ask them to repeat it again. And then say it back to them "Did you say..."

By that time it has lost its power.
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Thanks Golden, it's good to know it's not just my family. Honestly I'm not upset, my sister loves drama, I try to advoid it. 6 months ago she got mom upset because she told her she had cancer. Comes to find out, my sister had a negative colagard test, turned out to be nothing. I really believe my sister thought she had cancer, wasn't lieing but went 0-100 and called her mommy. Yesterday my sister's husband was in major surgery, so I was told, then I found out they never operated. My dad was dieing she stole the DNR. I don't need nor want that kind of drama.

There are 2 people in my family that are only in my life because of my mom, that I just want gone! And I know this is not forever.

Thanks for listening.

Ps my son is out of the hospital to pass his stone at home with some good drugs. 😂
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(((((hugs)))) nacy. I cut contact with my sis after mother passed and her estate was settled. Never felt so safe in my life! Finally the dysfun triangle was broken. 😊

Her hub emailed me a few times - last time to say "Why not bury the hatchet?" My only thought was that the hatchet was buried many times - in my back. No more!!!
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That's exactly it golden , there's nothing left inside for me , not even anger anymore. Thanks!!!
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Golden states “ Never felt so safe in my life ! “

This is true . I wish I had moved to safety sooner, rather than trying to fulfill other dysfunctional family member’s expectations .
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Another update from the world of narcolepsy seeking proper treatment.

Yesterday, I wrote to my sleep doctor via MyChart.
 
“I'm not doing better. I only slept for 5 hours last night and it was a major struggle to get out of bed to get to the bathroom. I ate breakfast, took my meds, and went back to bed. I got up to go to a wound doctor appointment and when I got home, went straight to bed. Hours later, I went out to pick up some take-outs. For some reason, I missed the turn to go in front of the sign where you order and went into the area behind it where the back door is. When I got home, I was ready to order groceries online, but could not find the flyers. I looked and looked. Finally, I went to my car and they were in the front seat. I don't even remember taking them out there. Furthermore, my balance has been poor. ”

Today, my sleep doctor called me in response. He said that I am sleep deprived plus have other issues that require a neurologist which I told him that I already have an appointment with. Duh, I knew that I have had sleep deprivation for months. At least, he had the professionalism to say I needed a neurologist. This is a neurological disorder. My goodness!

I do appreciate him making the effort to respond by phone. Hardly any doctor does that today.

Well, my conclusion is, that I have the rest of May, plus all of June & July to continue to live like this until August 1st when I hope the neurologist does something that helps.

Thanks for listening!
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Hi Notrydo! Hope you feel better soon. Be careful also of the meds themselves — sometimes the meds that are supposed to help, are actually the same ones that are causing sleepiness, exhaustion, depression, forgetfulness, balance problems.

Maybe take a look at each med and observe whether they’re adding to the problem.

Also how we feel during the day depends a lot on what kind of people surround us. As caregivers, we’re often stuck spending lots of time with very negative, difficult LOs.
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🙂 today's wisdom quote:

“Never let others dull your sparkle.”
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today's wisdom quote #2

“Keep calm and carry a wand.”
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😉 today's wisdom quote:

"Replacing my heart with another liver so I can drink more and care less."
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today's wisdom quote #2

"Please don't disturb my peace if you're at war with yourself."
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🍀🍀🍀🍀 today's wisdom quote:

“It’s better to be disowned, than to be owned.”
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Oh, good one!
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😊 today's wisdom quote:

"People who eat loads of food and never gain weight, I hate you."
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Well bundle, now you got 2 reason, one I keep calling you bumble, and yeah weight has never been an issue for me. 😁, luv you bundle your the best!
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today's wisdom quote #2

"I love animals. When's the last time you were loved just for walking through a door? Dogs do this all the time."
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😊 today's wisdom quote:

"Not only are you right, I wish I was smart enough to take your advice."
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today's wisdom quote #2

“Families tend to cater to the most dysfunctional person in the family as a way to keep the peace.”
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today’s final wisdom quote:

🥚🥚🍳🍳
“Your life may feel like it’s scrambled, but take it in stride and everything will go over easy.”
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