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Ex, I do understand how you feel as for the either/or thing .

I didn't, and don't plan on abandoning my mom completely, like honestly I probably should. Many have told me this and I completely agree with what they say, in a sence.

My mom's is a narssasist, mom did groom me from a young age, my brother has become all powerful over mom, her house and has made it impossible for her to get help she needs.

I can't completely abandon my mom, I have to do things my way. Not the way others have told me I should do it. Only my way!

With that being said, this forum has helped me tremendously. To gain my life back, to see the faults of my family, to be able to walk away mentally and physically, when I need to, and have my life and enjoy my life, inspite of it all.

I know you don't want advice, I get that. When I first came in , they said my mom was a narcissist. I was p###ed off. Then thinking about it, reading about it, pulling myself out of burntout, I realized what they were saying was true.

I would like to give you some maybe more bipartisan type of advise. Stay with us, it much helps, knowing your not alone. Work on your mental health, so you don't become burnt out. Put much boundaries down with mom.

I'm telling you, you can do both, it's by far a perfect life!! It's hard but you can have your life and your mentality in check and take care of your mom. But to keep out of burntout you have to put YOU first.

I will also say if I see where I can't keep myself out of another burnout. I will walk!! No actually I won't walk I'll run. That alone helps me , knowing I am and will put me first.

I hope this all made sense and helps a little
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Ex, I hope today is a better day for you. Keep on venting, it is what keeps us sane.
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Exsister,

I never said walk away . But you do not have to be fused at the hip . You should be able to go out for coffee with a friend.

I was not trying to be patronizing at all .
I’m sorry that you are suffering from FOG.
Fear , Obligation, Guilt . ( This can be researched as well ). I’ll leave you alone to be in this situation .
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Way and hothouse, 👍👍🥰 ,
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