Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
We all have overwhelming days as caregivers, but what's the pain-point that stirs around in your mind when you can't sleep? Hint: it's probably the one thing that, if solved, would turn around your day and outlook on life!
Gershun . . . yes, the pain is nearly palpable, and you described it really well. In your mom's panicked, last lucid moment, you were there to tell her over and over again the only true thing that could bring her a measure of comfort. That's a painful parting to remember so vividly, but for myself, I'm pretty sure I'd feel worse if I hadn't been there for her in that moment. I hope time is a good friend to you and you begin to heal. Be good to yourself.
What keeps me awake is thinking about those last moments in the hospital sitting by my Mom's bedside. Especially one particular evening when she started to moan and moan. Most of the time she had been so drugged that she wasn't even really there. But this one particular night she started to moan and I went over and said in her ear, it's me, I'm here. She opened her eyes and just started wailing and crying. I think she knew and I knew that this was probably our good-bye. She couldn't speak. She just kept crying and I kept saying to her I love you, I love you. I kind of knew that this was maybe the last time we would communicate in any way. Then they came and gave her more morphine. She lived for 3 more days after that but that was the last communication between us.
My mind goes there almost every night. It's like I relive the moment. It's like when you have a cut and you keep scratching it and the scab opens up and it has to keep healing over and over again.
Thanks all for this initial set of responses. I, too, have had endless 2/am ruminations and all specifics mentioned so far have brought back sharp memories. However, with the passing of both parents and the decision to no longer be a part of the industry I once loved, those years are now moreorless behind me. Sunnygirl1, your comment "I learned about compassion and endurance like I never had before" pretty much says it all.
To cwillie, thank you for your honest reaction: above almost everything, I appreciate truthfulness. "Advice about rainbows and butterflies" is about as far from my intent as possible, but I understand how you got that interpretation. Interestingly, the most critical review of my book was that I never told readers what-to-do -- and that's purposeful. It's your journey. Can it be tweaked and made better? Maybe, but there aren't guarantees, and even going there was beyond answers I thought would come in. I'm actually working on a pilot course for caregivers of aging parents and want to tap into current needs rather than where I think is the place to start.
And cdnreader, the grief . . . how well I understand. I miss my mom & dad every day, even after 6 and 16 years respectively. Time does dull the pain, but I think it's because we learn to move through it (or around it). At 6 months, you're probably doing better than I was . . .
Thanks again to all for comments and reactions. Since this was my first post, I'm in debt to you all.
It's very stressful, when you are struggling to help LO's who aren't interested in the help. I recall it well. The only thing that got me through was faith that eventually things would work out. You just have to keep focused and not give up.
Now, I look at the nights of my darkest hours as a true learning and changing experience. I learned about compassion and endurance like I never had before. My experience changed me into a different person. I hope it was for the better. lol
I share many of your concerns. And right now what keeps me up is the grief. Six months after losing my dad its the one thing I do think about and there is no getting around it. I know I shouldn't let the what-ifs take a hold of me but they do. I know there are no easy answers. I keep hoping with more time I will come to terms with it.
How perceptive to say that if we solved our problems they wouldn't keep us up at night, but somewhat simplistic. What about the things that can't be solved... thinking of my mom calling for me in the night and I can't be with her, grieving the loss of the woman she once was and my inability to continue to care for her at home, worry about having enough money set aside for my own old age etc. I know that mom's needs will be met in long term care, time will dull my grief and that I will age whether I have $1 or $1million and that it is pointless to ruminate about things I can't change, but sorry (oh god I'm trying so hard to be polite) I'd rather not read advice about rainbows and butterflies.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My mind goes there almost every night. It's like I relive the moment. It's like when you have a cut and you keep scratching it and the scab opens up and it has to keep healing over and over again.
To cwillie, thank you for your honest reaction: above almost everything, I appreciate truthfulness. "Advice about rainbows and butterflies" is about as far from my intent as possible, but I understand how you got that interpretation. Interestingly, the most critical review of my book was that I never told readers what-to-do -- and that's purposeful. It's your journey. Can it be tweaked and made better? Maybe, but there aren't guarantees, and even going there was beyond answers I thought would come in. I'm actually working on a pilot course for caregivers of aging parents and want to tap into current needs rather than where I think is the place to start.
And cdnreader, the grief . . . how well I understand. I miss my mom & dad every day, even after 6 and 16 years respectively. Time does dull the pain, but I think it's because we learn to move through it (or around it). At 6 months, you're probably doing better than I was . . .
Thanks again to all for comments and reactions. Since this was my first post, I'm in debt to you all.
It's very stressful, when you are struggling to help LO's who aren't interested in the help. I recall it well. The only thing that got me through was faith that eventually things would work out. You just have to keep focused and not give up.
Now, I look at the nights of my darkest hours as a true learning and changing experience. I learned about compassion and endurance like I never had before. My experience changed me into a different person. I hope it was for the better. lol
I share many of your concerns. And right now what keeps me up is the grief. Six months after losing my dad its the one thing I do think about and there is no getting around it. I know I shouldn't let the what-ifs take a hold of me but they do. I know there are no easy answers. I keep hoping with more time I will come to terms with it.