Just had major surgery on March 18. A 12 lb fibroid uterus removed. Took 3 surgeons and none of them had ever seen anything like it. Mom was placed in AL while I recouped. Supposed to be for @ 8 wks but she cried and carried on her Jitterbug phone she could barely use @ wanting to come home. (I thought that having to follow and train a series of home care @ wasn't recouping enough for me). Mom informed me that since it's her house and her $$ she did not appreciate feeling unwelcome in her home. So 2 wks @ my major surgery on my birthday a home care person and I went and packed her up and brought her back home. the home care person was this teeny tiny Filipino who had a hard time transferring my tall mom and since I can't do any lifting I could only watch in horror. (This is SOO what I wanted to avoid and why her butt needed to stay in AL). Then they sent over an even smaller Filipino live in who said she would "try to see if she could". She was sent away and I'm flipping out (NOT PART OF THE RECOVERY PROCESS) Now we have another and then they'll be another and so on bc there is no Mary Poppins who will devout 365 24/7 of their lives and why would they? So I have to do meal planning and shopping for all this instead of really taking it easier and not having to deal with any of them. The one we have now is nice and great with transfers but a little lax on the laundry and housekeeping. But it's mom's house and her $$$. In addition mom is now accusing me of stealing her insurance $$ to pay for my medical (which she pays for out of her checking account).My cousin wants me to get guardianship but right now I'm lucky she's letting me get POA. If I totally recoup from this, it will be a miracle.
My sister died taking care of my mother. Mom is now in a NH and is thriving. She put the bite on us recently to "Take her to the house, to pick up a few things." That is impossible and she is not mobile at all. We heard it all day long. Never mind that is was 29 degrees and freezing rain.
But, I say "No." You just can't give in.
All I can say, is the next time that Mom is in the hospital, etc. be sure that the MD knows that you cannot take care of her.
If there is somewhere that you can go, now, do it. Also, do not answer those calls from your mother. I couldn't get my sister to stop the calls on the phone. She would complain about the constant interruption, but wouldn't turn off her phone.