From this a.m.'s posts:
"Is your good information for parent always passed over in favor of a sibling?
5 Answers Care Decisions Relationships Siblings Stress"
and
"I'm so confused about the next best steps for my father. I want to help, but am worried I am making the wrong decision. Any advice?"
So, two different titles on two different questions show up today at top of the line, but OLDER questions, both from the same person, one Nicole, and with the same body of query below the titled. Then the SAME ANSWERS, starting with Midkid's response.
We used to see, on Forum, see the same OLD questions pop up over again when someone finds and responds to an old question, bringing it again to the head of the line, but now I am seeing old questions a LOT. And now they have different titles with the same repeat question.
Something is changed on Forum, or with its format, and I can't figure out what it is. I think too many chef's altering the soup recipe?
Now, what to list this discussing under?????
Today it's off to Filoli to see the Summer flower displays, have lunch with partner and lovely stepdaughter, so I don't care how often they post stuff or under WHAT headings!
When a "Question" is moved to "Discussions" by the admins. (so nice to have explained it to me), the order, and "replies" all change. There are no replies on discussions.
Did you originally post as a question Alva? Or under discussions?
Leonnie is correct, I was here this morning, and saw what Alva is talking about.
I just did not have time to compare the two threads and figured that admins would fix it.
When I go to Nicole's profile page I only see one question that she has posted.
Seriously - it would be have been easier for us to see if you would have posted links....
I see the question posted by LisaTrevor: "Is your good information for parent always passed over in favor of a sibling?
But I don't see where: "5 Answers Care Decisions Relationships Siblings Stress" is attached to it, or where it is listed in the forum as a separate question. That sounds like it would be a title to an article that AgingCare might post under their "care topics" section, or in a news feed that they send out.
I also see Nicole's question: "I'm so confused about the next best steps for my father. I want to help, but am worried I am making the wrong decision. Any advice?"
But I am showing Nicole's and LisaTrevor's questions as separate with no duplicate answers to them.
I'm not sure what you are showing as Nicole's second question. But clearly, your feeds are somehow "merging" in a way that others of us are not seeing...
Maybe contact admin?
I put them in this discussion body I posted. You listed ONE of them only. Again there are TWO questions.
The questions heading is different. One is:
"Is your good information for parent always passed over in favor of a sibling?
5 Answers Care Decisions Relationships Siblings Stress"
and the other is:
"I'm so confused about the next best steps for my father. I want to help, but am worried I am making the wrong decision. Any advice?"
THAT IS TWO QUESTIONS both different
BUT THE BODY OF THE QUESTION by nicole is THE SAME
And the ANSWERS are all the same.
So it is two posts made out of one.
I know I am still not making this clear, but I am helpless to try any more, so I think I am leaving my own discussion, hee hee. It is too frustrating.
This wasn't done to clarify. But it was done, and yes, done by an admin or someone with access to this Forum. I am only curious why, but at this pointnot curious enough anymore.
Notgoodenough, glad at least one of us found what I was trying to say.
Oh," I'm confused, "as the grandfather said at the end of Moonstruck.
I'm not seeing any links...am I not looking in the right places?
The editing/sanitizing of questions by admin reminds me of people who filter their photos for social media. It's no different and both are sad statements. People never have been perfect, aren't now and never will be. Let their posts stand as-is unless they violate the usage policies.
Here is the question from Nicole:
NicoleC
Asked June 29, 2022
I'm so confused about the next best steps for my father. I want to help, but am worried I am making the wrong decision. Any advice?
My father had a stroke in 2019. He walks slowly with a cane or walker and still drives his car (which scares me a little) to go food shopping once a week. He has gone food shopping every Thursday since I was a small child and I am now 40. He is 67 now. The Walmart is 1.5 miles from his home. He is already depressed and this weekly trip gives him something to live for. He uses the mobility scooter to shop, which he sometimes has to wait over an hour for once he arrives. A few weeks ago he drove himself to the hospital for a bowel blockage. They sent him home after a couple days. Since then, he has gotten a little weaker and I am afraid he is going to fall, which could set off some very serious consequences. I added some stabilizer bars in his bathroom and got him his own small mobility scooter to use around the house. His face lit up with excitement. I tried to discuss getting some ramps so he can access other areas of the house (it is only 2 steps down) and a hitch for his car so he could bring his own scooter to Walmart on Thursdays. My mother lives with him, but they have separate bedrooms. It is a very bad relationship and they live together for financial/convenience purposes but she won't help him with anything. Neither my mother or sister will help or even discuss if we should be getting ramps to help keep him safe or not. It is expensive and it is all on me. I don't know if I am making the right decision. Should I just leave things as they are and wait for him to fall? Won't the scooter and ramps make it safer for him to move around so that he is not as susceptible to a fall? Is there anyone I can call to help me evaluate something like this. Because my mother won't help, I have to treat the situation as though he lives alone. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you in advance.
And here is the question from LisaTrevor:
lisatrevor
Asked 6 hours ago
Is your good information for parent always passed over in favor of a sibling?
Recently one of my father's specialist doctors retired. I did research and found one that is about 2 mile away with little traffic on the way. The doctor has great credentials and is affiliated with the major hospital in the nearby city. I sent the information to my father.
My father called me two days later and said my brother found a doctor and my father chose that one. That doctor is over 10 miles away and getting there is a traffic nightmare. The doctor has less years in practice and is not a specialist like the doctor I found.
I can't understand why my father favors my brother's choice over mine. There is no good reason. My father's insurance is paying. This situation has repeated time and time again, not just in major decisions but in small ones too. Recently my brother kindly pressured my father into buying expensive things he does not need. My father realized this after he paid. I didn't say anything before and can't now about it unless I want a bad scene.
It's really bothering me that I was pressured to move by my father, do lots of his chores, spend a lot of time there but when it comes to decisions and choices my good ideas are passed over in favor of my brothers', even though he has a very mixed track record of making good decisions for my father.
Does anyone else have this experience? How do you cope? I just want to leave and live by the sea! I know I've been saying this for months but it's so difficult when you love your family and every moment to by close by is priceless.
***************************
Each question has entirely different comments, too.
Not sure what you are seeing Alva?
I believe you Alva Deer.
You have a great reputation for answering some of the most common sense nursing/caregiving related questions.
People are always posting on threads that seem to have already run their course, (sometimes as a reply which is what notgoodenough was talking about) and that brings them to the top of the page.
Also, if you sometimes check the forum before you've signed in you will notice the default order is most helpful instead first of newest first.
And... I've seen old timers give the same answers to various people, I think we all have out favourite stories to tell.
I get it.
You are Cassandra today, not doty. Means you can see it, but no one will believe you. It is the curse.
Yes, something is going on, something has changed on the forum.
Take a break, imo. I believe you. Then come back later.
Keep answering the real caregiving questions. It will drive you mad trying to figure out website related, troll related, admin related issues. I am hoping some posters 'in the know' can contact you by private messages to reassure you.
Take a 'day' without this insanity. It is not you, it's them.
"Is your good information for parent always passed over in favor of a sibling?" the OP shows as Lisatrevor.
The other post, "I'm so confused about the next best steps for my father. I want to help, but am worried I am making the wrong decision. Any advice?", shows the OP is Nicole.
I am still wondering about all the changes to poster's words.
Call me Cassandra, but this does not bode well for the "new" staff of AC.
It is just not like them. The reason I think they just hired someone new who
cannot do that job at all.
This question here:
[Caregiver2719
Asked June 26, 2022
Alzheimer's with Bulimia: Anyone have ideas on dealing with these?]
It was reworded. I saw it. The admins corrected the post to read: "Bulimium". Then corrected it back to "Bulimia" days later.
My tech dH has been explaining all the tech possibilities to me, and that it may not be anyone's evil intent, but instead technology errors.
Then this activity coincides with banned posters returning under a different
screen name causing dissension. The atmosphere is one of lawlessness. imo.
As to the other thing: 1. Title varies 2. The body of Nicole's question ON BOTH posted is the same. 3. The answers, being with Midkid's excellent answer is the same on both posts.
So someone has gone in and created TWO posts out of one by listing each under a different title question.
Ha ha, my third try at posting what I am talking about. If no one gets it still,I am either doty (don't say it) or no one else on Forum is experiencing what I am in the general feed. I will accept either answer as 50% probability!
As to the old posts? Our feed is flooded with posts today that are at least a month old. That's unusual on Forum.
For example, you referred to the thread where MidKid's older answer was still at the top; but if someone responded to an answer further down the queue, it wouldn't move MidKid's answer down a notch, because it's not considered a "new" answer - just an addition to an older one (at least that's how I interpret how it works).
Maybe that's what has been happening.
And as for the editing - I agree some questions benefit from a little tweaking and the edits make them clearer, others were better left alone🤷 .
It is just so odd to me what's happening on Forum in general. Many are complaining of wording being changed. Given some of the posts I can understand why; some are almost indecipherable. Then there are many more with no body in the question at all, and without an OP coming back to fill in questions. Makes me question their validity, though Forum Admins assure us these are real questions. Now we have repeated old questions. I don't know if this means that no one is coming in with real questions, or what.