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Are you in the states or somewhere else? Do you mean Executor of your Dad's/Mom & Dad's estate or do you mean POA and or medical proxy for your mother? If executor is what you mean great advice below, the executor has some constraints based on the written will so maybe not as bad as you fear.
According to LegalZoom, an executor is legally responsible for sorting out the finances of the person who died, generally making sure debts and taxes are paid and what remains is properly distributed to the heirs.
State law varies on the requirements of who can serve as executors, but generally, executors tend to come from the close ranks of a family—spouses, children, parents and siblings. In addition to carrying out duties in a diligent, impartial and honest manner, an executor may also be required to perform any or all of the following activities, among others:
1. Get a copy of the will and file it with the local probate County Court. Each probate case is assigned a number from the County Court.
2. Notify banks, credit card companies, and government agencies of the decedent’s death.
3. Decide what kind of probate is necessary. This depends on the Will and what property the deceased person has and whether it is jointly owned with a spouse or other person.
4. Represent the estate in County Court.
5. Set up a bank account for incoming funds and pay any on-going bills of the deceased person (and to pay the attorney and all court costs and estate taxes.)
6. File an inventory of the estate's assets with the County Court. This includes ALL checking and savings accounts (whether jointly held or not), CDs, mutual funds, life insurance policies, land, houses, cars, value of household furnishings, businesses, etc. The land and house values will be decided by the County Assessor.
7. Maintain the property until it can be distributed or sold. [This includes keeping up a house until it is distributed to heirs or sold- even deciding whether the property needs to be sold at all. Also, an executor must be sure to find all personal property in the estate and protect it until distribution. If the decedent had a safety deposit box, the executor should locate it and keep it safe. ]
8. Pay the estate's debts and taxes. State law dictates the procedure for notifying creditors, and the estate must also file income tax returns from the first of the current year until the date of the decedent's death. If the estate is large enough, there may be state and/or federal estate taxes to pay as well
9. Distribute assets Distribution occurs according to the wishes expressed in the will. If there is no will, state intestacy laws apply. Life insurance policies are cashed in and the cash is given to the beneficiaries.
10. Dispose of other property If there is any property left after paying off the estate's debts and distribution to heirs, the executor is responsible for disposing of it.
How is your Mum's health? Is she able to tell you anything about your Dad's will? Is she able to take care of her own finances or does she have health problems that are requiring that a DPOA of Finance be in effect?
You’ve been given some great insight as to Executor responsibility.
Another thing to consider are what your states laws on requirements on opening probate. Some states have a pretty long “window” on this. Like 4 years from his date of death. If your mom is in his will set to have his estate in full roll over to her, and she is herself frail & likely will die within the “window”, the Executor may just want to delay opening his probate till after she dies so that Executor is doing what both his & her will is. If it’s the same person for Executor, this is kinda a good idea as it makes the process more condensed & less costs.
As the other posters have said, your brother may be executor of your father’s will, but can’t be ‘executor’ for your mother because she is still alive. If your father left everything to your mother, which is fairly normal, then your brother has nothing to be ‘executor’ of. Of course that may be why he is not giving you information – there is nothing for him to do.
Perhaps your worry is that he is acting as if he is in charge of your mother. If your father’s will was a home made job and said that the executor should take control of your mother, it has no effect at all. You can’t leave that power in a will. The only way that your brother can be ‘in charge’ of your mother is if she has signed a POA in his favour (and signed it while she was still legally competent) or if he has gone to the court for Guardianship (which is not likely because it is difficult, and you would probably have been notified anyway). However you may need to find out if your mother has made a will, where it is, and what’s in it. You don’t want the ‘no information’ to continue when she dies, if he is going to be her executor too.
If you can’t get any sense from your brother, unfortunately you may have to go to a lawyer. Perhaps if you tell him that you are going to do that, he may reconsider what is the right thing to do.
As the other posters have said, your brother may be executor of your father’s will, but can’t be ‘executor’ for your mother because she is still alive. If your father left everything to your mother, which is fairly normal, then your brother has nothing to be ‘executor’ of. If your father’s will was a home made job and said that the executor should take control of your mother, it has no effect at all. You can’t leave that power in a will. The only way that your brother can be ‘in charge’ of your mother is if she has signed a POA in his favour (and signed it while she was still legally competent) or if he has gone to the court for Guardianship (which is not likely because it is difficult, and you would probably have been notified anyway).
If you can’t get any sense from your brother, unfortunately you may have to go to a lawyer. Perhaps if you tell him that you are going to do that, he may reconsider what is the right thing to do.
If Moms being executor only comes in effect when she passes and probate has been filed. Before that it has to be a POA or guardianship. Both stop at death.
Now if Dads, once the Will is probated its also filed and becomes public. So you can find out who is beneficiary. He also has to contact each beneficiary and interested parties that the will is being probated. All bills and debts have to be paid before the estate is split. The executor needs to provide an accounting of what was paid and what is left. Not sure if he has to keep beneficiaries updated.
If your mom is still alive, is there really anything to tell you? Unless your parents had separate estates? If they didn’t then your brother isn’t executor yet, he’ll become executor when your mom dies.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
State law varies on the requirements of who can serve as executors, but generally, executors tend to come from the close ranks of a family—spouses, children, parents and siblings. In addition to carrying out duties in a diligent, impartial and honest manner, an executor may also be required to perform any or all of the following activities, among others:
1. Get a copy of the will and file it with the local probate County Court. Each probate case is assigned a number from the County Court.
2. Notify banks, credit card companies, and government agencies of the decedent’s death.
3. Decide what kind of probate is necessary. This depends on the Will and what property the deceased person has and whether it is jointly owned with a spouse or other person.
4. Represent the estate in County Court.
5. Set up a bank account for incoming funds and pay any on-going bills of the deceased person (and to pay the attorney and all court costs and estate taxes.)
6. File an inventory of the estate's assets with the County Court.
This includes ALL checking and savings accounts (whether jointly held or not), CDs, mutual funds, life insurance policies, land, houses, cars, value of household furnishings, businesses, etc. The land and house values will be decided by the County Assessor.
7. Maintain the property until it can be distributed or sold. [This includes keeping up a house until it is distributed to heirs or sold- even deciding whether the property needs to be sold at all. Also, an executor must be sure to find all personal property in the estate and protect it until distribution. If the decedent had a safety deposit box, the executor should locate it and keep it safe. ]
8. Pay the estate's debts and taxes.
State law dictates the procedure for notifying creditors, and the estate must also file income tax returns from the first of the current year until the date of the decedent's death. If the estate is large enough, there may be state and/or federal estate taxes to pay as well
9. Distribute assets
Distribution occurs according to the wishes expressed in the will. If there is no will, state intestacy laws apply.
Life insurance policies are cashed in and the cash is given to the beneficiaries.
10. Dispose of other property
If there is any property left after paying off the estate's debts and distribution to heirs, the executor is responsible for disposing of it.
How is your Mum's health? Is she able to tell you anything about your Dad's will? Is she able to take care of her own finances or does she have health problems that are requiring that a DPOA of Finance be in effect?
Another thing to consider are what your states laws on requirements on opening probate. Some states have a pretty long “window” on this. Like 4 years from his date of death. If your mom is in his will set to have his estate in full roll over to her, and she is herself frail & likely will die within the “window”, the Executor may just want to delay opening his probate till after she dies so that Executor is doing what both his & her will is. If it’s the same person for Executor, this is kinda a good idea as it makes the process more condensed & less costs.
Perhaps your worry is that he is acting as if he is in charge of your mother. If your father’s will was a home made job and said that the executor should take control of your mother, it has no effect at all. You can’t leave that power in a will. The only way that your brother can be ‘in charge’ of your mother is if she has signed a POA in his favour (and signed it while she was still legally competent) or if he has gone to the court for Guardianship (which is not likely because it is difficult, and you would probably have been notified anyway). However you may need to find out if your mother has made a will, where it is, and what’s in it. You don’t want the ‘no information’ to continue when she dies, if he is going to be her executor too.
If you can’t get any sense from your brother, unfortunately you may have to go to a lawyer. Perhaps if you tell him that you are going to do that, he may reconsider what is the right thing to do.
If you can’t get any sense from your brother, unfortunately you may have to go to a lawyer. Perhaps if you tell him that you are going to do that, he may reconsider what is the right thing to do.
If Moms being executor only comes in effect when she passes and probate has been filed. Before that it has to be a POA or guardianship. Both stop at death.
Now if Dads, once the Will is probated its also filed and becomes public. So you can find out who is beneficiary. He also has to contact each beneficiary and interested parties that the will is being probated. All bills and debts have to be paid before the estate is split. The executor needs to provide an accounting of what was paid and what is left. Not sure if he has to keep beneficiaries updated.