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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
She is living with me but I have a full time job. She expects me to care for her, cook meals and drive her around. Does not want to pay for in home care. She told me it was my job to do these things for her.
There is something called a Miller Trust that allows people to "off load" excess funds so that they qualify for Medicaid. Then, the money that is offloaded goes back to the state/county (or however it is set up). I'm pretty sure Michigan has such a vehicle.
Also, I think MI is one of the few states where Medicaid does cover AL, but I'm not positive. Call a social worker for your county or your local area's Agency on Aging for answers and resources, or consult with a certified elder law attorney or Medicaid Planner for your home state.
Are you your Mom's PoA? If not, I would have a discussion with her that the condition for her to stay with you and receive help from you is that she makes you her DPoA and FPoA. Then, create a contract outlining what her funds are paying for and charge her regularly.
I know you don't want to "kick your Mom out" but you need to find leverage to get her to pay. Going on strike from running her errands and other go-fer tasks may make it feel more real to her.
It's possible she has the beginnings of cognitive decline. The first things to go are a person's judgment, reason and logic. Also, they lose their empathy for others' situations. If she wasn't like this in your youth, then you need to consider this is what is going on in her head. If so, all the more urgent to move her towards assigning you as PoA.
She needs to pay down her savings by paying for her care until she qualifies for Medicaid. That is how it works. You explain to her you need to work to earn a living for yourself and can't be there all of the time. The only time it makes sense to stop working to care for elderly parents is when you or parent has so much money (multi millions or more I would believe today) that you would inherit, that you wouldn't need to work again for the rest of your life.
She will have to go into placement. She will use her assets such as she has and then Medicaid will pay for the rest. Her funds will be assessed and she will be told how much of the bill is her financial responsibility. OR she will go in with her own assets and then will collect Medicaid when her assets are spent. There are also options such as a Miller Trust to be considered by legal help; I suggest an elder law attorney.
Be very certain NOT to take her into your own home as you will complicate this exponentially. You say that she expects you to cook and do meals and drive her. Does that mean you are DOING as she expects? Because if you are you are enabling her realization that this is not working. Stop doing as she expects, live your own life, and give her the numbers to call for when she needs help.
It is time to embrace the fact that you are a grownup who has flown the nest and has now your OWN nest to maintain. Let your mother know her options for hired in home care and for placement options. See an elder law attorney with her if she wishes your support to work out applications for aid, and management of her assets to pay her portions of the bills. This can be done. You need expert help and advice.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Also, I think MI is one of the few states where Medicaid does cover AL, but I'm not positive. Call a social worker for your county or your local area's Agency on Aging for answers and resources, or consult with a certified elder law attorney or Medicaid Planner for your home state.
Are you your Mom's PoA? If not, I would have a discussion with her that the condition for her to stay with you and receive help from you is that she makes you her DPoA and FPoA. Then, create a contract outlining what her funds are paying for and charge her regularly.
I know you don't want to "kick your Mom out" but you need to find leverage to get her to pay. Going on strike from running her errands and other go-fer tasks may make it feel more real to her.
It's possible she has the beginnings of cognitive decline. The first things to go are a person's judgment, reason and logic. Also, they lose their empathy for others' situations. If she wasn't like this in your youth, then you need to consider this is what is going on in her head. If so, all the more urgent to move her towards assigning you as PoA.
Be very certain NOT to take her into your own home as you will complicate this exponentially. You say that she expects you to cook and do meals and drive her. Does that mean you are DOING as she expects? Because if you are you are enabling her realization that this is not working. Stop doing as she expects, live your own life, and give her the numbers to call for when she needs help.
It is time to embrace the fact that you are a grownup who has flown the nest and has now your OWN nest to maintain. Let your mother know her options for hired in home care and for placement options. See an elder law attorney with her if she wishes your support to work out applications for aid, and management of her assets to pay her portions of the bills.
This can be done. You need expert help and advice.