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My aunt, who has been living with me since October, complains she is tired around 8.30pm, so I take her to bed and tuck her in. From half an hour after that, to when she gets up at 11am the following morning, she picks up her alarm clock every 5 minutes throughout the night to check the time. She does not have dementia, and is in fact very much all there, but I am wondering if this may be the start of it. At most she may get 45 mins solid sleep twice a night. I have a baby camera in the room in case she gets up and falls over because her mobility is poor. I ask her in the morning if she slept and she always says yes, that she has slept well. But if she Is not picking up the alarm clock, she is always touching her head with her left hand, and if not doing that, she is counting her fingers on her left hand.


She has started napping in the day, but wakes up shouting her dead sisters name and we have to calm her down. There is no way I can take the alarm clock away because that would cause an argument and she is always right (in her head). Has anyone else come across this odd behaviour?

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You mention that she does not have dementia but has that been formally assessed? I think the first step would be to take her / talk to her PCP, ideally someone with experience with geriatrics and discuss whats happening and these night time episodes. Then see what they say and if they recommend formal assessment.
I find it interesting how there's almost a stigma around, about labeling the "dementia" diagnosis, and for our elderly LO's to hear that diagnosis. And even some doctors say " oh no, don't worry, you DON'T have dementia". ok fine, then they label it "mild cognitive impairment, not dementia". ok fine. but "mild cognitive dementia" then is meaningful too, and it means they have some issues, even if not called the "D word",.
Also, people talk about "dementia" sometimes as being an all or nothing thing. Even on this thread sometimes its like either someone is "no dementia" or "full on severe dementia". But dementia is on a scale, from mild to severe, and there are many types of different dementias too, from what I've been reading.
As someone else alluded, I think at age 94, even if very sharp overall, I would be surprised if someone at 94 did not have at least "mild cognitive impairment" type stuff if they were formally tested. That would be quite unusual to be at age 94 with no decline at all, no?
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CrustyRolls Dec 30, 2023
Thank you so much for your reply. I do have another aunt with vascular dementia, but as you suggest there are different types and all different querks (for want of a better word). I guess I should not let the vascular dementia set the standard and let the experts assess her and tell me.
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If she's checking that clock every 5 minutes it may be that she has short-term memory loss and doesn't realize she just looked at it not long ago. With dementia and memory loss comes problems in judging time and space.

She may not sleep fitfully at night because of the napping. She's napping because she isn't getting sufficient sleep. It becomes a circular problem. Are you willing/able to find "tasks" for her to help you with during the day? We had my 100-yr old Aunt with dementia folding stacks of kitchen towels, reading to us out loud, pedaling a portable foot pedal machine while watching tv, walk to the mailbox, and play card and board games with whatever rules she wanted. This helped her get off of the Tylenol PM.

But I agree with others that you need to start with an accurate diagnosis and baseline check-up. Are you her PoA? If not, is anyone? She needs to assign this very important legal representative. You aren't obligated to be it, but if she's living in your house and declining fast, it will be necessary for her PoA to help make decisions legally for her because if she has no PoA and is not cooperative about leaving your home... many on this forum have been there and done that.

She should get checked for a UTI, thyroid problem, dehydration, vitamin deficiency, and other problems that have dementia-like symptoms but are treatable.
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CrustyRolls Dec 30, 2023
Thank you for replying. I have a durable PoA. Being British I'm not 100% sure what the durable bit is about. You are right suggesting looking at other areas. I do try to get her to drink plenty as I think she is dehydrated, but she refuses because it makes her go the toilet more. Yes.... viscous circle. The stiffness in her legs makes me wonder if is that dementia type that Bruce Willis has. But again, I should leave it to the experts to tell me. Just got to get her to go the Dr (which she refuses to do and is at the moment on the surface of things, of sound mind). Thank you again
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What diagnostic workups have been done since Aunt moved in with you? I am speaking neuro-psyc evals.
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CrustyRolls Dec 30, 2023
Hi there. None at the moment. She has been fine until about 2.5 weeks ago and it's like something has tipped her over the edge. She is british born but lived in florida for 75 years. I bought her back beginning of October this year to the UK as there is no family left in florida to take care of her. She has had life changing things happen these past few months which is bound to have unsettled her, no matter how strong and stubborn she is. I just want her safe and well and to be able to sleep. She has no faith in the English NHS system so I am going to have to pick my time well.
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I'm sorry to tell you that she is NOT 'all there', This behavior is telling of some kind of memory issues.

That aside, you could get her a physical and ask the dr for something to help her sleep. There are many sleep aids that do not have 'next day grogginess' issues.

It sounds as if she is a little too focused on the passage of time. IDk what causes this--but overall mental slippage has a lot of things going on.

My MIL is on a low dose anti anxiety med during the day, which she takes when she gets anxious or upset (everyday) and at bedtime--about 9 pm, she takes a pretty hefty dose of Xanax and a small glass of wine. She sleeps all night long, most of the time. No one is there with her, so if she does get up, she is able to get herself back to bed. She sleeps about 14 hrs at night.

There is always the concern about the patient waking, getting up and wandering, but you kind of have to take the 'what if's' along with what is.

Your aunt it not hitting on all cylinders, and that's normal in early onset dementia.

IDK how many times I have heard "My LO is sharp as a tack' and then goes on to describe behaviors that are most assuredly NOT supportive of that.

Time for a cog eval and some judicious use of calming meds. If she's really waking all night long, she's not getting proper rest and that makes everything harder.
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CrustyRolls Dec 30, 2023
Your right, and thank you for giving me that shake. Her mobility issues stop her wondering (unlike my other aunt, who is now in a nursing home). I have been giving her a double Baileys of a night to see if that helped. She is on one blood pressure tablet twice a day so getting her to take anything else is going to be a struggle as she is so set against it. But I hear you xx I think I am going to have to get the rest of the UK family involved, to convince her to be evaluated.
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Do you accompany her to doctor appointments? Consider describing this behavior to her physician in an email or fax before that appointment.

It sounds like a phenomenon called "sundowning". Google that term and see if it fits.
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CrustyRolls Dec 30, 2023
HI there. I have just registered her with a uk dr for her repeat prescriptions. I honestly do not know what her hang up is with doctors . She brags she is on one tablet, but for all I know, she could have high cholesterol, diabetes etc and she won't accept it or take anything for it . Her blood pressure was seriously high the other week, I'm talking over 200, and her new dr prescribed an extra tablet.... which she is refusing to take. Her excuse.... he does not know me. I'm hearing this as I type. that's not rational is it. She is not rational.

I will Google sundowning. Thank you for that
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