Has some dementia - can have a great conversation in the moment but then forget it like everything else - perfectly healthy - no medications
Got into Memory Care and they just let her sit in the rocker until her legs filled with water - ANR met with her never noticed. I noticed and took her to her old Primary Care, put on furosimide & compression socks and should walk 4 times a day.
They don’t always put compressions socks on or walk her like needed. She maybe has an activity a few times a week. Mostly sits in her room and wants to go home - is on hospice. Her home is 80 years old, needs much work but is her home.
How can I get her back home with the help she needs? Need out of the box ideas to get her home and die at home.
FYI when someone with dementia says they want to "go home", it is usually their childhood home, the one in their long-term memory. As was demonstrated by my 100-year old Aunt with advanced dementia who said it every afternoon (called Sundowning) while she sat in the chair of her home of 50+ years.
Your understanding of what caused your Aunt's peripheral edema is not good.
It is not the nursing home that caused it; it is her aging heart which is insufficient to pump the fluids from her system. The care of someone with CHF is difficult. The diuretics help control fluid in peripheral vascular system and in the lungs, but also washes out the electrolytes (sodium, potassium et al ) necessary for life. Sometimes this alone can lead to death; blood work is a necessity. Could you get her in for lab work on your own?
Who is POA for your Aunt?
Is that you?
If you wish to do in home Hospice care for your Aunt are you retired and home and able to do this?
She is now 99. Can she afford care for those times you will not be present?
Have you helped others through the dying process and is this something you are ready, willing and--most importantly-- able to do?
If you tell me that you are ready to do this mission of tender loving care, and that you are able, I would suggest that you do it in your own home, not in the home of your Aunt which you tell us is deteriorating in her absence.
I admire giving heart. But unless you are, now that Aunt has dementia, her POA you will not be allowed to withdraw her from in facility care in my opinion. I would encourage your faithful visits, and your support now that your Aunt has begun the end of life transition.
With hospice, she's thought to have 6 months or less to live so putting her on medications, compression socks and walking her 4x a day is not necessary. She should be allowed to sit in the rocking chair like you said she wants to in your last post, w/o putting her feet up as you said she didn't want to. The idea of hospice is to keep her comfy and relaxed, that's all.
All elders with dementia want to "go home" ....it's a statement representing a place in time when life was good rather than a brick and mortar building that's in disrepair. Her safety is the #1 priority, not her wishes which can change with the weather once dementia is at play.
You'd have to speak to aunts POA about your idea to get her Home, because unless it's you who holds that position, you are unable to remove her from Memory Care.
Best of luck to you