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Since ive been a member for several years i know i cant get legal advice but i would like to know other peoples experience.
I am really upset and dont know where else to ask.
My husband is adamant about not going to a nursing home someday and since i cannot go to a lawyer to look at payment and policy advice without him they wont see me … alone. This company practices only elder law which is why i want to see it.
He is in his late 70s and im in early 80s and i have had long-term insurance for about 25 years because i didnt need his permission to get it so i did.
I have been very fortunate to find a local facility with indoor access between assisted living and skilled/nursing/rehab for both of us when we need it. It is important to me to be able to go from one area to another if whoever wants to see the other at 3 am and it’s icy and we dont have to go outside.
The facility doesnt accept insurance so that means of course we will be billed and we send information to the insurance company for reimbursement.
I havent been able to afford insurance coverage past $7500 a month which sounds like a lot but isnt. At this time it would cover assisted but not skilled and we would use savings for the difference which is fine till we run out. And then where’s the money for payment ??? We will need to get medicaid if there is still such a thing.
I know medicaid coverage varies from state to state so my question is what do we do while waiting. If we’re established residents what are our rights about residency and what happens while we’re waiting ???
I would like to talk for advice to the facility director but dont want to be upfront about probably needing financial assistance someday.
Ive been using savings for insurance and now of course theres the upcoming problem since i wont get a job till jan till mid-april to put back into savings and now my savings will run out shortly after my job does.
I want to be prepared for the “worst” but cant get a legal opinion till it does.
Thank you.

"My husband is adamant about not going to a nursing home someday and since i cannot go to a lawyer to look at payment and policy advice without him they wont see me … alone. This company practices only elder law which is why i want to see it."

I don't understand this... are saying your are dependent upon him to physically drive you to the attorney's office? If so ask a friend or neighbor or someone at church to take you. You don't have to tell your husband, you're not doing anything nefarioius...just getting advice.

You don't need a legal opinion, you need a financial opinion.

You can take whatever current financial information you have and see your existing elder law attorney or an estate planning attorney or financial planner -- even if your husband doesn't go with you.

In most states Medicaid only covers the medical portion of LTC. However, you have a LTC policy that you are trying to pay premiums on. I would take this policy to the lawyer to have them review it so that you understand completely what it will pay for and when.

You don't have to wait for your husband to agree to live in a facility. You can move now and he will probably not like being alone and may follow you there. I'm hoping he's not your PoA... if so I'd consider having someone else, someone who is local, willing, competent and a generation younger than you.

What reason does your husband give to resisting a good facility? Does he have bad memories from a past family experience? The new places are often extremely nice. Visit one and take pictures to show him (rather than the glossy brochures).

More info from you would be helpful.
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I agree 100% with Alva find another attorney.
Also any facility that you are looking at make sure they take Medicaid. Most facilities want you to "private pay" for 2 sometimes 3 years before Medicaid kicks in. If the facility does not accept Medicaid you will be looking at moving and it is difficult to find a facility that will take you right away with Medicaid.
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AlvaDeer Oct 28, 2024
Yes, my brother's facility, his ALF did not accept Medicaid under any circumstances. That was made very clear going in.
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I do not understand an elder law attorney unable to answer questions as regards your own future and your own insurance and your own care.
You need to call others, because this makes utterly no sense.
Leave your husband's name out of your next call. Tell them you wish to see then in a one hour consult regarding options for your future care plans. Bring your documents. Trust me, at 400 to 750 and hour someone will see you.

I doubt anyone here will feel comfortable discussing the legalities of LTC insurance, your choices of place and the difficulties involved with a non cooperative hubby. But sure do wish you the best of luck. Find a decent attorney. They are out there.
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