What can one do to stop a verbally abusive sibling from coming over to see mom who lives with me? During these visits she tells her things about me that are not true and upsets her to the point where she is now needing more and more anxiety meds. This sibling also texts me calling me vile names and making accusations that I'm stealing her money. I'm at my wits' end.
It sounds like you are the one responsible for your mom's care. Try deleting and not reading your sister's text messages.
I'm sorry that I don't have any good suggestions here. I went through a similar incident with my sister except that it was about my caregiving skills that I was rendering to my disabled younger sister that I got manipulated into taking care of. I was a trained Certified Nursing Assistant. The older sister kept calling Adult Protective Services on me. Finally, I was able to get in contact with a government agency to have younger sibling placed in a group home. It was a three year process. I moved out of the family home and haven't been back after my dad died in 2014. I did go back once and that was to retrieve pictures that were left behind of the grandkids. My pictures of my high school graduation and pets were probably thrown out in the trash by my father's wife or one of her daughters. It is a long story. Nothing worked out in my behalf while I was in that hellish situation. Actually, it started with my mother who was an alcoholic and died of cancer.
The guy that I wanted a long term relationship with had second thoughts and tossed me to the curb. He was no prize anyway. I ended up in a horrible marriage that took me seven years to get out of followed by a couple a bad relationships. It was like all of the good guys had been picked and the only thing that was leftover were folks with problems and needing caretaking. I went through periods of not dating and just focused on college, raising my daughter, and taking trips to the mountains on weekends with my ex husband.
This caretaking business is for the birds. It will eat up a large portion of your life including dried up finances, job loss, missed opportunities just for keeping someone else healthy while your life is going down the drain.
If I had more independence, I would not have been so bogged down on taking care of other people and started looking out for myself.
Learn to draw a healthy balance between caretaking and your life. Take online classes to increase your chances of getting a good job if you don't work. Stay on top of things for your life. You will need your strength and energy for your own needs.
It is only so much you can do for mom at this point. Try to get some fun activities in for yourself. You can't give away all of your time to other people including losing time and your mental capacity to handle your own life.
:)
and
“You can't give away all of your time to other people including losing time and your mental capacity to handle your own life.”
very true.
kind people of the world, be careful. protect and cherish your own life!