I've lived with my grandma for most of my life and recently turned eighteen in February. She takes care of her self, handles her own bills, and even takes care of my uncle who has brain damage. I just stay there for a week and my boyfriends house for a week, mainly because she will miss me when I go to college. I recently got my permit and we were running late for a dentist appointment and had to drive on the interstate for the first time. When I got to the doctors office I did say "shes so stupid" because she ignored me for a broken phone for most of the car ride which put us in danger several times then preceded to give me directions some of which were bad and some of which were good. Someone reported me for "elderly abuse" because I called her stupid and an idiot and looked "generally angry". Of course I was my brother died in a car accident. I normally don't say anything bad to my grandma but I was stressed and her actions could have us killed. Anyways I'm eighteen, I'm no caregiver. I handle no finances, heck I even pay rent (aka the electricity bill). I clean my room and she cleans the rest of the house. Am I not allowed to say anything bad about my grandma anymore? Anyways, I'm not a care giver. The law says "a caregiver".
This 18 y/o is a child. We don't know her circumstances.
Yes what she did was terrible and let's hope it doesn't happen again.
I hope her grandma forgives her & if GM can do so, let's hope the 18 y/o learned a lesson and allow her to move on.
My explosion was any time my 90+ year old Dad would say he was going to start driving again..... NOOOOO.... so we went around and around about how dangerous this was, and that how he could lose his house and all his savings if he was the cause of a serious accident. I could feel my voice getting higher and higher. I was so stressed I was shaking.
Then there were times when my Dad had a serious illness and Mom didn't like that there was this recliner in Dad's hospital room, she wanted it moved out. I explained to her this was for Dad so he could sit up during the day. She still wanted it moved. I was already stressed due to the situation and I said "Mom, this isn't about you".
All my life I never raised my voice or even had a bad row with my parents.... it didn't start until they become so elderly, refused to move from that unsafe house [stairs], refused to have caregivers, refused to have cleaning crews, etc. When you lose a lot of sleep due to an elder, it isn't easy to think straight.
It was certainly rude and grandma should receive an apology, but It is questionable whether or not she is a vulnerable adult. She is certianly elderly and lives with your uncle who is brain damaged and takes care of her own business.
granma was certainly stupid in giving you directions that were confusing and could have endangered you both.
You mentioned that you had just recieved your permit so I assume you still need a licensed adult to ride with you.
Gosh if anyone heard my husband he would spend the rest of his life in jail.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stop worrying and get ready for the school year you are a responsible caring adult.
This kind of stress is too much for me at 55 ! I have not had outbursts ever with my dad but that doesn't mean I don't want to... I am on the edge of it though and recognized it so yesterday I gave up being his POA.
My husband is taking over .
The difference is, when it's a child or an elder, it's reportable, because they are vulnerable populations.
I take it that you have been contacted by APS.
When they come to the house to interview you and grandma, separately, I assume that you will be contrite and not make excuses for your behavior.
I assume that grandma will say that she's not being verbally abused by you.
APS will then close the case and you will have learned a valuable lesson about not letting your emotions rule your behavior. It's a life lesson, and one well learned at 18.
I know you only said those words due to stress and frustration. One incident of blurting out the wrong words won't get you into trouble for elder abuse. I know you love your grandmother and it was not intentional. Please apologize to your grandmother and do not let this stop you for continuing to see her and help her. We all do things we regret. We learn, we say sorry and we move on.
You were very rude. One can understand why. It's not okay, but it's not going to be put right either by being blown out of proportion. Apologise to your grandmother and let that be the end of it. And leave more time for car journeys - as people get older, everything just does take longer and that's just how it is. I sympathise with your stress.
Yep we all say stupid stuff at times - nobody's perfect. Chalk it up to a learning experience.
But that doesn't make it right to call your grandmother "stupid", whether in public or not.
Lesson learned. Don't worry. You love your grandmother and will probably not react that way again.
Good luck in your senior year!
Even if an investigation is started I'm certain it will never go beyond the initial stages (unless there is more you are not telling us), I think most of us on this site could be locked away if they were throwing people in jail for a few nasty comments!