My nana, who is dying of endstage emphysema, and getting worse every day told the hospice chaplain that she wants to die with me and my two boys at her side....um, i love her with all of my heart and would do anything for her, and if i have to, I would be at her side, but I pray to God that when he decides to bring her home to please let him do it in her sleep....idk that i will be able to not totally lose it if im there when it happens, i know i dont want my 10 year old to endure that, and my 18 year old says no way, he can barely handle to come visit her periiodically b/c the ill lady in the other room is not his nana....so do I discuss this with her? Do i discuss it with hospice chaplain and ask him to talk to her about it, or do I just leave it it God's hands, since that's where it all is anyway. And am I selfish for even thinking any of this?
I'd like to ask if nana only told the chaplain about her wishes or has she stated this to you also, pooh?
I can only use my mom as a gauge, but one of her wishes is to have a certain preacher conduct her service when she passes. She insists on it. Well, goodness alive, this man has to be 95, if he's even still alive. She's letting her wants overrule reality. Sometimes a dying wish is impossible to fulfill.
But it's good to know that you're both on this forum helping and encouraging people, that is what this site is all about.
Both of you keep up the good work, and remain blessed, highly favored, and in the midst of miracles.
I am afraid that we are not allowing children and young people to step up and take responsibility on many levels. I hate to think what their future is going to look like.
I think there are some wimps and selfish people on this sight and yes, I think you are selfish for thinking this pooh4292. You should forfill your mothers wish.And yes my mom gave me permission to write.
My 21 yr old is like your son. He is sensitive and get's quite upset when he goes to see my mom, (his grandma). He always tries to be hard, but once he sets foot into her room and starts talking to mom he has to go out for a time, and he actually cries.
My 19 yr old on the other hand is quite good with my mom. He spends time, right next to her and reads to her, and makes her laugh. Whatever she needs he's there for her. He has always been able to make us all laugh.
I wouln't push my sons into anything they didn't want to do. If they chose not to be there I would accept it. I've already spoken about this with them and one never knows when that time comes what will happen. I may break down and they may need to be there for me, I just don't know. But as far as holding them to being there to watch someone die, I wouldn't commit them to that. They've gone through something similar with my X's mother and it took them a long time to get over it. Every child is different and mourns in different ways.
Sure they will get old, I pray they live a long healthy life. I pray they have a great relationship with God, a great family, and great health. But I would let them say what they wanted, and they themselves would have to live with it.
I pray that my moms transition is peaceful and that she not be afraid to let go. I also pray that same prayer for myself when my time comes.
I hope this helps.