What do people do? I mean SPECIFICALLY. Just wave, blow a kiss, and leave? the facility is only a few miles from here and since i have no car and would be using my bicycle to visit that wouldn't be too hard to go however often. I suppose some would say 'don't go to visit every day' ~ well, ok, maybe, but yesterday my older friend's advice was "once she's there, don't visit her for two weeks so she can get used to it." Frankly I was a little horrified ~ there's no way I can imagine myself doing that to my mom ~ she's still somewhat lucid a fair amount of the time. I know she may actually do better there, but how can i explain that to her?
Your mom will adapt to other people, they'll have her on a routine. She might not love it at first, but she will get used to it all... My mom didn't like it at first either, the respite center, but then I think she loved it... I'm trying to get her back in there as we speak... I wouldn't deal with a facility that didn't let me come and go at all hours of the day and night. That would send up a red flag, and I'd steer clear of the place. You can find something that will meet everyone's needs... I'm in that process now... You visit whenever you please, and ease your mind about her care. Taking time off now and then, especially when you know a loved one is well in hand with the pro's, isn't a crime. It doesn't make someone a bad person because they want to relax and rest and have time for themselves... we're care takers, not machines... It can become too much to handle, whether the person is lucid or not... Best of luck!
Good luck, I'm wishing you the best...
first couple of weeks we went to activities with her to help her get used to the facility (and also make sure she would be able to find her way around it). Now, we try to visit her at least once a week (there are four of us that visit regularly), still going to some activities or church, take her on outings,and call her.
reaction to the disease. Seems to be a similar story of your mom's.
Or you could have a "medical emergency" that requires her to be somewhere until you recover. I'm assuming that she has progressed to the point that her reason and memory are quite impaired. Good luck.
Don't let anyone tell you not to go see your loved one for 2 weeks for the sake of 'adjustment'. That's crap. Go as often as you can, as often as your schedule allows, and as often as you'd like. While I visited my dad almost everyday in the beginning I began a new job and was only able to visit 3-4 times a week. I could have gone more, they had no set visiting hours, but after working a 12 hour shift I wanted to go home and that was ok.
It's a very difficult process and it IS a process. There have to be discussions and your loved one, depending upon his/her state of mind, should be included in the discussions even if the decision has already been made. We can't come across as if we've yanked all the control out of our loved ones lives. They deserve our respect and should be included in all the decisions, even if you have to spend time convincing them that this is what's best for them. It's not fun, it's sad, and it broke my heart when we went through this with my dad but sometimes it has to be done.
Good luck to you and whatever happens, don't be hard on yourself.