Ok Caregiving team. I am reaching out to you for your thoughts and guidance since this website has given me so much knowledge in my caregiving journey. A dear friend of mine and I were chatting and she asks how Mom is doing? My Mom was recently placed on hospice care (last week) my heart is broken but I am emotionally adjusting for the inevitable. When I told her Mom was placed on hospice care, her reply was well she is 85. Emotionally I had to freeze my thoughts for a minute not fully understanding WHY someone would make a statement like that. To me it comes across as well it is time for her to go? Instead of saying my prayers are with you during this difficult time, you are blessed to have her with you. Something more caring I guess. I know my friend did not mean it in any derogatory way but I had no idea what to say when she made that comment and if others say that what is the best, polite response. This really hurt me in how it came across and I cannot shake that feeling. Maybe I am being too sensitive but I am VERY close to my Mom and would walk thru fire for her. Thank you for your advice :)
People say the stupidest things, and as much as we might want to call them out on it would cause a confrontation and that probably would only make us feel worse. (Although they might think twice before saying it to the next person).
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Don't hold it against your friend. Social graces are truly a lost art nowadays. Seem like a lot of people just blurt out whatever comes to mind.
I think you just have to write it off as crashingly tactless and do your best to put it out of your mind. There might be ways to correct your friend's thinking; but then again if she's a friend worth having she probably kicked herself all the way home anyway, and if so... you won't gain anything by bringing it up.
Least said, soonest mended. Just make it clear to her that you are going to make the most of every minute your mother has.