Recently, my father is becoming increasingly irrational. He has been shouting non-stop everyday about the self perceived injustices and grievances he experienced. I have tried many ways to cater to his needs, but he never seems satisfied. He often talks about selling the house and how his three children are useless and cannot take care of him. The money I give him never seems to be enough, as he spends it on various items which we already have in abundance. I feel terrible and worn-out. I start to think that my father may be experiencing some form of neurological degradation or cognitive impairment. May I know of any methods or approach that can solve this problem or perhaps just temporarily alleviate the situation?
When I would take my dad to the Dr. and wanted the Dr. to know things that I didn't want to discuss in front of my dad I would write a brief note prior to the appointment and give it to the nurse when we checked in, telling her that the note was for the Dr. to read before he comes in to see my dad.
Since these changes were fairly sudden the fix may be something simple like a medication change.
At any rate, getting through to dad and getting him to understand, isn't likely, so, I'd just try to run damage control, until you can get him medical care. Explore the options with his doctor.
I'd work on getting legal authority to handle his finances, so he doesn't lose his assets. If you don't have Durable POA and Healthcare POA, I"d see an attorney to see about Guardianship.
I'd try to not take his negative comments personally. Obviously, something is causing it. Just develop a tough skin and hopefully, the doctor can prescribe medication, if he's overly anxious or depressed.
When my LO was upset over imaginary problems, I'd just tell her that I had taken care of it. All was solved and everything was okay. She was so relieved to hear that and thanked me profusely. Of course, she would forget that and it would have to be repeated later on. Keep in mind that convincing someone with cognitive decline that they are mistaken and that nothing is wrong, usually doesn't work. Agreeing and soothing is often more effective.
I know you are doing the best you can for your dad. Its hard to see our parents aging and nothing we do seems to please them anymore. Glad you are trying to find an answer. I think you are on the right track. Does your dad have diabetes? High blood pressure? Low on vitamins? Dehydration? Depression? Anxiety? Fear of death? I know its hard to have a heart to heart with your parent, but I would take the time and really ask your dad, what is it? Have the doctor review his meds, his blood work, maybe consider a cognitive evaluation. My dad had heart failure and I didn't truly understand why he was so negative. I really regret this and wish I had done more for him.
Definitely call your dad's physician to see what can be done.
And why are you giving him money? I see this in a lot of the posts here and never understand. If you're having to help your father - why are you handing him money? You're already buying everything.
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