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Hurtbabygirl, my heartfelt sympathy to you and your family on the passing of your Dad.

When it comes to your Mom asking to go home, please note for those with Alzheimer's/Dementia, home usually means their childhood home. Your Mom wants to see her parents, and any siblings she may have had.

My own Mom [98] asked to go home, and eventually I learned from clues which home she was talking about, it was the house where she was born and raised along with all her siblings. I had to use "theraputic fibs" any time she ask to go home, to see her parents, or to see her siblings. I just made up excuses that would make sense to my Mom, and it worked, until the next day when she asked again.
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"He's not able to visit anymore, remember but he is being well cared for and isn't in any pain, he misses you and sends his love." Not a lie just not the entire hard truth.

When she asks who's taking her home maybe ask "home where Mom"? (maybe) "We didn't need to move you to the hospital this time mom they took care of you right here in your apartment/room this time."
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NYDaughterInLaw Aug 2019
Excellent answer!!!
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I'd spare her the pain that would come each and every time you would have to tell her, because, it would be fresh each time. When people are not able to process the information, there is just no where for it to go. So, to me, there is no point in providing painful info that she would never accept or recall until the next time. Eventually, she may stop asking. I never thought that my LO would stop asking about her parents, but, she did eventually. I'd try to think of something that would make sense, like, he has a cold and didn't come or is at work.
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I’m so sorry for your loss.

I wouldn’t tell your mom about your dad. She’s not going to remember it. She will continue to ask where he is and if you tell her, every time, that he died, she is going to grieve all over again. A therapeutic fib might be in order her, just tell her he wasn’t able to come to today or something.
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