I've been her caregiver for the last 15 years. She enables my brother. He drinks, steals and threatens. He does nothing to participate in anything pays no rent. He threatens me , and I feel he has done other terrible things . How do I find out background checks or find a way to investigate this after before he could possibly harm me or my mother ? any ideas. My mom avoids the topic and we argue constantly due to him emotional and mentally abusing me and mom , but mostly me and he loves it when we do argue. he also gets aggressive when he drinks . Openly he has told me he wants me to be arrested , he wants me to mess up " f"""" - up was his actual words. I have caught him in my bedroom stealing , and recently found out he was abusive physically with his ex wife. I feel he is dangerous and don't want him living with my mom and me . Just the other night he was in a mood and told me in an undertone " he was in control " I'm afraid of him and he plays it off later as if nothing happened. I cant trust him .What can I do ?
Daughter doesn't need mom's consent to get a Restraining Order against the brother if the RO is for the daughter, not the mom. But since they reside at the same address.....
You asked about a background check. You can have a background check done by a private investigator. The PI can also follow your brother to his next drug buy/connection. After the 'buy' has been completed, the PI can notify the police. If a PI calls to report drug activity - the police will come out immediately and arrest him and confiscate his vehicle; all without you being involved. If he has any 'priors' that will keep him away long enough for you to possibly (if your mom is cooperative) have an attorney draw up Conservatorship and Attorney-In-Fact, papers naming you as Conservator and representative for your mom. Good luck.
Your brother sounds like a text book bully.
Your brother's stealing puts him in the physical category and your mothers passive behavior might actually place her in the secondary bully role. ( based on the info you provided). He's already threatened you that he is going to implicate you in something to cause you harm. As others have written here, it's time for you to take action for you and your mother to be free of his tyranny. You wanted to know about his record, perhaps your local police department can help you. At least they would have a record of your concern should the problem escalate. Would the exwife add her concern for you and your mothers safety ? Two people expressing concern might be more effective. Don't know what health problems your mother has but if asked, she might side with your brother. Fifteen years is a long time. I'm sure it is hard for you to see brother come in and take over and for mother to allow it. You need legal advice. Good luck.
I sure don't want to read about yet another double homicide if he would go that far when he's drunk. Trust your gut.
Be safe, and God be with you!
All above are correct but, still, you need back up. Hide your stuff. You and your mom need to get out. Sell the house.
He won't move so in order to change your living situation it's going to have to be you who makes a change.
You can call the police the next time he steals from you but that's liable to make your situation worse and your brother probably won't get into any trouble anyway. Hide your valuables or put a lock on your door.