I'm thinking of bringing my mother to live with my family within the next month. She is currently in assisted living, but is alone most of the time, other than eating her meals in the dining room. This will be HUGE for me -- I have always been free to come and go as I please. Even though she is by herself now for hours at a time, I will be responsible for her 24/7. I am the only child in town. My husband is open for having her move here, but does not want to become a babysitter. I will look into adult day care nearby. Am I making the wrong decision to want to care for her at home?
now since he is gone whew !! i feel so much burden off my shoulders ! i can come and go as i please and i can sleep all day if i want to . my husband and i go out to eat and have time on our hands , before when dad was here i couldnt go anywhere ., wake up all night long takin him to bathroom , listenin to him wa wa waaaaaa . i tell you its hard work .
but when he gets better i am bringin him back home . winter is coming and yes he does gets a better care here at home than at nursing home . one on one is alot better than leave him hangin and wait till its his turn . he did say he wants to go back home . he will get his wishes , ill bring my daddy back when he gets better .
Bless you. Wish I had my dad back. I would give anything to hear him. You are lucky.
Linda
She ask me not to be the one to take care of her, she said that she would want to be in a NH, that it would make her feel horrible if I had to change her and do personal things like that.
I wanted to be the one to always take care of her but I think it was for myself, not her.
She's as happy as she can be where she's at and I go visit every other day.
I think she actually gets better care there then if she were with me-they know how to handle things much better then I do.
wants to be at home where his families are , so you are lucky that ur mother doesnt want that .
i for one , dont like nursing home . and i hope someday my girls willin to take care of me cuz i think i be just like my father hahaha . hopefully i be dead before i get too old and feeble ... cuz i dont like what i am seeing at that old old age ....
What-where-when are the Golden Years ??!!
by the way ill join you to alaska !! lalala think they serve margiritta ???
am bringin dadhome on tuesday , trying to gather up all the firewood i can get for the winter but i dont think im going able to do that since i will be staying home to take care of dad .
poor husband of mine , lucky my son said he will go help him . since he too need firewood to heat his house up .
got me a new grandbaby boy . proud mamaw i am ..
am not lookin frwd to be trap in my home and care for dad 24-7 again . its been 3 weeks since he went to hospital cuz of uti and now he is in rehab , that place is so depressing and they dont take good care of my dad . realy threw me offthe other day , shut him in his room withdoor closed and tv was not on and the nurse call button was hangin way out of his reach and caught him trying to get in bed from his wheelchair ! i arrived just in time to see all that . had to do some lit preaching to those young girls (cna).. u do not shut the door on my father , hahaha man u should seen thier red red face , all denied doing that , oh well whatever ....guess it be all well worth it when he gets backhome so i;ll know he s ok , no more worry warts ..
You said NH's are horrible, my Mom is in one and it is very nice.
But watching your love one decline is not easy either at your home or in a nursing facility. Yes there will definetly be days that you are on a roller coaster as someone had mentioned. But then there are days you would not have it any other way but with you.
The decision to move mom in with us was easy for me, but not for everyone.
I care for her 24/7 I am the only child. My son does not help, but my daughter and her husband do at times. My husband just works and comes home and goes to bed.
I do have a homemaker that comes in 4 hours 5 days aweek. This helps some.
Today is not a good day for me. I do not have privacy at all. Never have time to myself in my own home. It is going to be one of those days I was talking about.
But yesterday was a different story. My mother and I laughed all day long. She was having a good day and I got to enjoy that time with her. She is not herself everyday so I try and enjoy the time we have together when she is herself. This brings back good memories from my childhood.
This is an example of how your days will go...
Good luck with your decision.....
I lost my mom suddenly 4 years ago - my heart goes out to you ddarkangel
If you can afford part-time help I also suggest having someone come in to help you. You can also go to your local senior resource center like we did and sign up for free respite services. A lady would come over for 6 hours a weekend for a year. We were on a waiting list but it was well worth it. Whatever you decide--make sure you have some help!!
Know that you did your best-thats all we can do.
God bless you.
I am so sorry to hear of your mom's passing, but know this; you were a wonderful daughter who loved and cared for her mom with such grace. We are all praying for her and you and keep in your heart the knowledge that you did what so many will not do- you loved and cared for her till the end. Many blessings.
Linda
i just came from nursing home and spend 3 hrs with dad duringhis lunch and walked him around and he wante dto go to bed . he was tired and told him i be back about suppertime , he s happy knowing that i come everyday and spend al the time i can with him . and i will continue to do that till his last final days .
they said they want to keep him one more week . so next weds he gets to come home .... cant wait !!
dont ever forget that youre a wonderful daughter , your mom s so lucky to have you ..
Remember you are the person you are today because of her.
And you made her last days good ones because you was with her all the way. You was there in the good times as well as the bad. But always remember you was there. It does not matter what was said, not said, done or not done.
You was with her always. It takes a special person to take care of our love ones.
Always remember you are very special.
well i felt alot better now i can sleep without waking up every 2 hrs , i feel at peace now . but this coming weds he will be coming back home here with me . in a way i am looking fwrd to have him back home but then again im not . cuz i am not ready to wake up every 2 hrs to take care of him . hopefully he'll sleep allnight which i doubt that , i want him home but then again i dont . i feel bad for feeling that way . he is my father i love him dearly . i know he wont be around forever . i go visit him 2 times a day and stay for few hrs theni would leave thinking i can sleep all night .
it is a very big step by taking your parent into ur home . its rough at first then it gets easier . i hardly go anywhere and when i do my daughter watches him for me . bless her heart .
i worry about him in rehab cuz i know he gets better treatment at home than he would there . low on staff and too many elders there .
i;ll do it again and again but i tell you it is peaceful when he is not here . its alot of work when he is here . its sad too to watch him becoming like a child like . like i said he wont be around forever and i get to spend every mins with him so i know its all worth it . washer machine is all the time running hahahaha .... poo and pee all the time . ahhhhhhh