I put my mother in memory care about a year ago after she had suffered a second stroke. Sounds bad, but it was the catastrophe I desperately needed to get her out of the house and into a facility finally. My father was still at their home, which was a hoarder night mare, he hadn't been giving her her meds, never kept her bathed, she was always incontinent and never changed, always had filthy clothes on, he never made meals, etc. I had set up Meals on Wheels which just stacked up in the fridge and I ultimately just threw out all the time. I set up meds every week and he either couldn't find them or just didn't give them. I had numerous service providers come out to present their info on getting in home help, medical alert and whatever and as soon as they were out the door, my father would just announce they didn't need any of it and just wouldn't have it. So I held it all together as long as I could, with doing the housework, laundry, bills, and whatever else that came up, but the house was such a mess, I just couldn't keep it together another minute. And it was a 1 hour drive for me each way to go there on top of my full time job, family obligations, etc. Much more, as is the case with all of us here. And long story short, I finally worked with his doctor to convince him to move to the assisted living that was in the same building as my mother's memory care. After the house sells, there will be enough money to keep them there for close to two years - bank account will be zero at that point. I am sure my mother will qualify for a nursing home, and probably does now for that matter. But what about my father if he hasn't progressed to that level yet and there is no more money? He has a diagnosis of Alzeimer's but is pretty high functioning at this time. Am I legally obligated to have him move in with me? My husband says no, both kids say no, and he has burned his bridges with me decades ago... abuse/neglect situation as a child. I have no other siblings. Plus I have no spare bedroom. We would have to just set up a cot in the living room every night, which would get old very fast. She is 85 and he is 88.
You think it’s bad now? It will be 10x worse in your home.
You are in no way legally or morally bound to take him in.
As to whether you are legally required to take your father in, the answer is almost certainly no. You can even in fact allow him to become a ward of the State in which you live, and his care decisions ongoing would be on that person.
If you were obligated to care for your parents, then your Mom would not now be in care.