This is how being a new doctor works. When you just graduate, you are an intern, receiving a small salary, then after internship you reapply to work.
For the past 5 months I have been job hunting. No steady income. I still used what little savings I had from my internship to help my parents.
I have been rehired now and working exactly one month. I decided to finally move out, get an apartment for myself ( since I have been primary caretaker, living with my parents the past 2 yrs now).
I also bought some new clothes for work...even if I am broke, I cant afford to "look broke" on the job. So far in my new job I havent been payed yet. My Mom has to go see a Doctor in another state, I have already volunteered to take her (since as "the medical son" its on me), all I am asking of my siblings is to help me with the cost of the ticket....and guess how they respond "you should have budgeted better"
Now mind you...I have budgeted. I have enough money to get support myself for another month without salary....but I can't possibly have enough money to buy plane tickets, I haven't been payed in 6 months !
Come'on man....they could be reasonable....there's only so much one can budget for if you are not getting regularly paid.
I agree with Cali, present them with a bill!
They have had 3 kids in this time, and they have been POOR. They were buying a car for their growing family and the car dealer couldn't believe that a doctor had to finance part of the cost. Why weren't they rich??
Well, they have never starved and we have helped them out all along, and when my SIL begins working in his field, he will be making an amazing amount of money---but he's been in school for 14 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My SIL was never expected to stop what he's doing to run a sick relative to another dr's appt. They can skype him in to the appt if they need his input, but your family needs to realize that a drs time is worth so much more than the hourly wage they get paid. And PCP's (which I think you must be, as you didn't do a specialty)..do not make a ton of money.
You're just going to have to say no. You can put in your 2 cents' worth but you are not the doc in charge here.
I do text my SIL for 2nd opinions occasionally and he has been a great support in my battle with cancer, but he isn't an oncologist, so his field of expertise doesn't help me much.
I respect his time and his need to focus on his learning. As a new practicing physician you are more than overwhelmed with work.
No shame, no guilt, just time for you to continue growing as a doctor!!
And good luck to you!
You mention your fiancee is also a doctor. Is she right about where you are? New job and no salary yet? Or is she progressed along so that she is now a working member of a physician's group? Are you working as a hospitalist with very limited hours, or in a group practice? The former will give you at the least better "hours" I think. Is there some way that you and your fiancee could live now together? You mentioned intimacy in another post, so I think I am not jumping the gun to think that wouldn't be a problem, the moving in together. This would both save money and give you a "test run". Old I might be,but not old-fashioned; I recommend test runs, hee hee.
I think, ExVee, with any ideas I can come up with, one is NOT the siblings. They have not changed. I think they will not change. Your relationship with them sounds quite set in stone. You ask; they refuse.
The other thing I don't quite get is a new doctor not being paid in 6 months? Can you tell me more about that? It should be a good check when it comes, but at this point one wonders if it WILL come?
Of course the flying to appointments in other states isn't going to be a possibility that I can even begin to imagine. It wouldn't be an option for most of us I would think unless we had a family member with some wealth involved.
As a resident physician, you are NOT going to have the time to fly back and forth to take them to appointments.
Just say "No, I cant possibly do that".
You are a voice of reason. God knows we should all listen to you. I am trying to find the gumption.
I feel for the OP because we have these emotions that get in our way of thinking straight.
Boy, oh boy
I wish I lived near you, Alva and a few others so y’all could smack me upside my head!
Keep talking. Got to sink in sooner or later. I need help. I’m like this OP and others who get trapped by circumstances.