Middlechildleft2, Sooo last yr. I posted about my deadbeat sis. Well mum is back in rehab, she went in hospital on the 14th, for gallbladder - gall stone the size of a baseball and needed surgery, then pneumonia (ICU) for 2 days, finally yesterday arriving at rehab. Mom can not stand for more than 1 minute, can not walk for than 4-5 steps with a walker, and get confused all the time. (*side note - last yr. PT and OT and Dr. said she was NOT ready to go home and needed a few more weeks in rehab, but she signed her out anyway.)Problem #1, medicare only covers 21 days, sis refused to get medicaid to pick up any balance, because it would also cover her staying in rehab/ nursing home. and Problem #2, she is already saying she is going home after the 21 days whether or not she is ready, Problem #3, Sis is also wiping out mom's SS $$ within 2-4 days after it is direct deposited in her bank. Sis does have POA as she drove mom down last yr. and had her sign papers, taking it away from the oldest sis.Problem 4*** Mom is being left alone 8-10 hrs. at night so sis can work 45 min. up the road, BIG CONCERN!, everyone I ask can not help me, they say my hands are tied. If it were a child that was not coherent, not able to be left unsupervised because of a High fall risk, the state would step in and help, Why wont anyone help with mom?? Worried the next time something happens she will not be strong enough to pull through.
If she is competent, she can assign a new POA to whomever she chooses.
Has any professional stated that your mother should never be left alone?
Have you offered to watch your mom while your sister works?
How do you know that mom's money "disappears" after it is direct deposited? Is that what your mother says? How would your MOTHER like her money to be spent?
Your sister is taking care of Mom and working night shifts? That sounds enterprising (and tough), not deadbeat.
I understand your concern about leaving your mentally incompetent mom alone at night. Could you go and sleep nights there to help keep your mom safe?
i bet your sister is overwrought with all the work. Please support her if you can.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/soo-how-do-you-get-anyone-to-help-when-sis-will-not-sign-mom-up-for-medicaid-to-help-pay-for-rehab-448326.htm
If you and your mother want to go down this path, I suggest that you consider getting it drawn up by a lawyer who talks to your mother and will provide a written record that this is her wish in view of current problems. They may also have suggestions about how to stop this happening yet again, perhaps by looking at money controls.
Adults are presumed to have capacity until they are proven otherwise. It sounds as though your mom is physically frail but still knows what she wants. That includes the poor choice of going home and the further poor choice of giving your sister POA.
Unless you have the wherewithal to sue for guardianship and mom is found incompetent, you can't do anything.
I'm so sorry.