I am in the midst of all the rules, regulations, paperwork and headaches of getting my 89-year-old mom into nursing care. She never could have navigated this process! Mom had a little bit of money, so I sought out an elder care attorney to help me through the process. I will ask his opinion as well, but wanted to hear others opinion on how to plan for this for myself if I should ever get to the point where I can't take care of myself. I am divorced with no children and have no close relatives who will be able to help me. I am 63 years old. I am by no means rich, but I do have assets. What happens to someone like me when I get old? Who does all this paperwork and running around? What happens to my assets? I do have a will and POA, leaving things to a relative, but will they get any of that if I need nursing home care?
1. Get a nice dog.
2. Spend any and all money you have to enjoy life to the fullest.
With any luck at all you'll croak before it is all gone...
Smiling your way and wishing you well.
Grace + Peace,
Bob
Second, I created a document via my computer that lists every bit of important information about me that I could think of, e.g., the name and contact information of my accountant, lawyer, dentist, car insurance and on and on. It is a 34-page document at this point. I purchased a fire proof cabinet and have placed that and other documents (e.g., birth certificate) in it.
I also have two 2-drawer filing cabinets that I set up just for the POAs. In this, I have my bank statements (always keep the January and June bank and other financial statements of past years) and utility bills and every important statement that a POA would need to know. In short, what I have done is to prepare and label all that I can think of that governs my life, so that the POAs know exactly where to go to find what they need.
That document of which I spoke is in a folder labeled (in red) Read Me First. The POAs know about it. And, they know about the filing cabinets. And, the filing cabinets are also labeled POA.
I believe by getting organized this way, it will take some of the burden off the POAs, and it will help me as I get older take care of myself, should I not need a POA.
I hope this helps you and others.
I also worry about my future because I am still reeling from the sticker shock of the cost of professional caregivers, long-term-care facilities, and Independent/Assisted Living for my parents. I have a good nest egg, but what if that isn't enough?
Thank goodness for Medicaid and that State program to help those who can no longer afford to live at home. It would be your Power of Attorney who would need to do the leg work to get you the best health care and living facilities you can afford.
As for the Power of Attorney, it is always best to have two names, a primary and secondary if for some reason the primary is unable to service. Your secondary could be your Elder Law Attorney if he/she is willing to do that, but funds for the time spent would be taken from the estate.
And start downsizing stuff within your home. I wished my parents would have done that as it took me more than a month of Sundays to donate, keep, or toss all the items they had.
I'm hoping I get cancer, then I'll choose no treatment and only palliative care and hospice, and I'll move to a state where assisted suicide is legal. If I ever get a terrible diagnosis like Alzheimer's or dementia, in the early stages, when I am still rational, I am going to Dignitas. It's an organization in Switzerland for death with dignity, and there I will end my life. The criteria in states that offer assisted suicide here are written so that only those with six months or less to live are eligible, which leaves out dementia patients. I don't want my last years to be spent rotting in some miserable nursing home. I'll travel, say my goodbyes, and leave with dignity, sparing my daughter the anguish of taking care of me.
I don't consider this suicide but end of life managment. Face it, we put people through agonies before we let them go, but the last loving thing we do for our beloved pets is take them on that last trip to the vet.
Mom has a hundred health problems (except cancer other than small skin cancers) and has had a gazillion medications and procedures. She had a knee replacement when she was 77, and even then I argued against it, because her mobility was so poor that I felt it would compromise her ability to recover from surgery, which involves getting up and walking on the operated leg. (I was right and my siblings and I ended up having to fork over $4000 in charges for her rehab stay). Yesterday I was taking her to the doc for yet another procedure, and she mentioned casually that she is going to have to have "something done" for the knee that was not operated in 2008. I'm thinking "Mom, let it go, you're almost 86!" because I don't want to have to support her through another surgery and rehab. What I said was "What about pain patches?" She is going to bring this up with her doctor at the next visit and I'm praying the doc does not suggest anything involving surgery or more office procedures, because I'm already running Mom around to more of those than I would like. I know it's selfish, but I'm trying to have a life here. Trying to keep a job and have some vacation in the summer. It's not me or my siblings putting Mom through endless treatments. It's her own doing, supported by her doctors, who are always saying "Come back in a week." "Come back every three months." "Try this other procedure." Mom has basically nothing else to do with her life, but the schedule of medical needs is running me a little ragged!
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