Any advice on how to plan for the future when you are alone?

Guilt, I know how you feel... I am an only child with no children and not married [even if there were people doesn't always guarantee care], and my cousins are scattered across the country, most are seniors themselves.

I also worry about my future because I am still reeling from the sticker shock of the cost of professional caregivers, long-term-care facilities, and Independent/Assisted Living for my parents. I have a good nest egg, but what if that isn't enough?

Thank goodness for Medicaid and that State program to help those who can no longer afford to live at home. It would be your Power of Attorney who would need to do the leg work to get you the best health care and living facilities you can afford.

As for the Power of Attorney, it is always best to have two names, a primary and secondary if for some reason the primary is unable to service. Your secondary could be your Elder Law Attorney if he/she is willing to do that, but funds for the time spent would be taken from the estate.

And start downsizing stuff within your home. I wished my parents would have done that as it took me more than a month of Sundays to donate, keep, or toss all the items they had.

The only advice I can think of for us single folks is to save as much money as possible and look in to buying long-term care insurance. The trouble with the latter is that it can be so expensive and you have to make sure it will be worth your investment. Many people have been pleased with their insurance policies, but others have been shocked at how little they cover.

Depending on how long it is...you could end up paying more for the insurance than you will receive in benefits.

My parents each sign up for long term care insurance in 2000. They paid $300 per month ... each. For 16 years.

My Dad used that insurance for just 2 months before passing away.

They would be better off if they saved that money.

But, if they had needed it after only a couple of years..it would have been a good deal.

Except..if you are already in your 80s, or are already suffering with chronic problems.....no one will sell you this insurance.

I have decided for myself that I'm better off saving my own money than buying long term care insurance. The reason is that I think the biggest issue is obtaining help between the time you can no longer manage by yourself to the time you're impaired enough to require a nursing home. My mother has been in that stage for almost 10 years and a little extra income or savings would have gone a long way towards taking the burden off her adult children to ferry her around and take care of her household tasks that she can no longer do.

My plan is to save enough to go into assisted living by the time I'm 80, assuming I live that long. And have enough to stay there until I become medically and financially eligible for a nursing home and Medicaid. I don't have any huge investment in staying in my own home. I actually don't have a home - I moved down to Florida to help my mother and I plan to leave and go back up north the day after her funeral. I'm not really attached to staying in one place and I also haven't accumulated (and don't plan to accumulate) a ton of stuff.

I hope that when and if I really get impaired mentally, someone will notice my situation and will alert the state to appoint a guardian for me. Apparently the state can and will do that at least here in Florida, even if there are family members present. I only know this because I met a man in his late fifties yesterday who told me that the state of Florida had appointed a guardian for his mother, over his objections, and moved her into a nursing home. I hope to be lucky enough to have that happen to me.

I had to take care of my mom for years--and it's still ongoing-- and it has impacted my savings and retirement severely (I won't be able to) but I figure we are going to have World War III in a few years or less so none of this is going to matter. We only have one mother so I don't mind taking care of her even though I have to sacrifice my own life for her.

There is so much you can actually do on your own behalf to prepare for your own future. You may not know it, but you can do more than you realize. I'm also alone and I have several things I do which is all part of protecting myself and preparing for my own future. Everything I'm about to say should be taken very seriously because so many people aren't currently falling victim to something just because they didn't make a plan or find a strategy to protecting themselves. The more you can protect yourself, the harder it will be for potential thieves and vultures. 

What you really need to do is get yourself some legal protection through an elder care attorney to make sure to make a will for starters. Your attorney will help you see to it your will is honored and carried out according to your wishes. Make sure your will is filed in probate and make sure no future facility can access that will or your assets. Also make sure that any of your assets are never snatched by any nursing home. Yes, nursing home proof everything including your money. If you have a home, see if your state offers a TOD or transfer on death. Make sure that you are definitely completely competent well ahead of time when making all of your arrangements especially if you have a lot of money and other assets. Get with your funeral home and arrange your own preneed. Put the funeral home as the owner of your policy and pay each month in full on time. Put the papers in a safe place and store emergency numbers in your phone. Only answer calls who happened to be on your contact list. Anything outside of your contact list should be considered potential scammers, don't take any calls from anyone not on your contact list. Don't let anyone have any access to your bank account. If you open up new credit or go to order new insurance or TV service or other subscription, don't let anyone pressure you into taking payment from your bank account, this is how people get ripped off. Don't agree even if pressured to give access to your bank account. Any potential creditor you agreed to do business with should give you a copy of the bill with all of your information. Pressuring you otherwise is a big red flag and you should hang up and report it to the local BBB or Better Business Bureau in your area. You have the right to say no to giving access to your bank account to any creditor. If you can't set up payment for a subscription or service from your end, it's a scam and a big red flag, and you should never do business with them. If they ask for a credit card number just explain you don't have a credit card. If they pin you down and say you should have a debit card attached to a bank account, don't give them the information, insist on them sending you a copy of the invoice or you won't do business with them and you will report them. Never ever ever carry cash, do everything electronically so there's a record of it. Only swipe your debit card and run it as credit. Unfortunately, the newer cards have a chip that require you to give your pin, i'm not sure just how safe this really is but if you have any money missing from your account but you did not authorize, go straight to your bank and dispute it. They will get you your money back. Don't agree to lend out any money to anyone, you never know when someone may start mooching and really leeching off you. Once they start, they may never stop and you will likely find yourself broke. Don't tell anyone you don't have money, and don't blab about assets or anything expensive unless you want someone worming their way in and cleverly starting to take advantage of you. People can come out of the cracks very cleverly and they can have some sweet deals for care in exchange for something valuable belonging to you. Don't fall for any of it, protect it legally with an iron fist before this ever has a chance to happen. Hide all the deeds and titles, and definitely don't use checkbooks, don't write any checks. I don't even use checks anymore, I only use plastic and I keep it in a safe place and won't let anyone pressure me into borrowing it. Only keep a certain amount of money in your checking account for only what you immediately need at that time. Sign up through your bank for online banking and don't use an ATM if you live in an area notorious for crimes such as bank robberies or other robberies against other businesses. To be safe your best bet is to not use an ATM at all unless you want the risk of someone jumping you at the ATM. Just go for online banking from the comfort of home and stay safe as you age. Pay all of your bills online but set them up to come out automatically from your end only. Don't answer the door to unexpected company or anyone you're not expecting, and especially strangers because the station just never know. A friend of mine is actually going through something like this right now, someone we know notoriously comes over drunk. He just recently stopped coming over drunk and just comes unexpected and refuses to honor my friend's wishes to text him before coming over. According to my friend, this person has been asked repeatedly because this person shows up at the worst possible times even if he's not drunk. My friend really doesn't even want him there and has complained multiple times. I have encouraged him to just not answer the door if he really doesn't want to be bothered. I even encouraged him to let me take care of you since I have handled this kind of matter before but much to my surprise he said just don't answer the door and we didn't. The person finally went away after knocking twice. One time the person unexpectedly came right when we were in the middle of meal prep and we were expecting someone to just drop in because we already had plans for just us, and we wanted to be left alone. My friend had a wonderful meal already planned for the two of us and we really didn't want anyone unexpectedly popping up because we already had planned for just us and no one else. We previously had this person who has been showing up unannounced right around dinner time and my friend would feed him. This kept going on until I encouraged my friend to just fix enough for the both of us and just not share anything with this person. If there's only enough for the two of us, there's not enough for a third person. You really don't want people just showing up unannounced, this can quickly become a serious aggravation, especially if there's no answer and they keep coming back and being persistent. This can actually make you snap back at them if you really don't want to be bothered and they show up at the worst possible times. I had an incident around the major holidays and I was not in a position to take company especially unannounced. No answer and they went away. What really angered me is five minutes later another knock which this time I was steaming mad! Come to find out they received a package belonging to me but they could've left it quietly on my doorstep and left. If they wanted to know if I saw anything from them, they should've left a note quietly on my door. Misdirected, lost or stolen. Sometimes during the cold weather such as during winter, some people with certain respiratory issues don't even like opening the door let alone being bothered, especially if you have no transportation. If you have no one to take you anywhere, it's best just to stay in and keep your doors locked in your windows protected against peeping toms. Another way to protect yourself is to never give personal info online or to strangers you meet in person, your personal info is none of anyone's business. Be very careful who you give your Social Security number to. As a general rule I don't give that to anyone who's not my doctor, hospital, or anyone involved in my federal benefits. Anyone else is not really entitled to it and I won't do business with anyone who says they "require" it, even if they say they don't give it out and it's secure, I just don't give it out. Just don't do business with anyone who pressured you into doing something or giving something out that you don't want out there. 

Be very careful and try to keep yourself as healthy as possible and stay independent. If you get any kind of benefits, check with your state about able accounts and put all of your money in there if you have disabilities. You can currently start an able account in any state other than your own. Try to protect yourself against a state guardian grabbing custody of you and your assets. I saw an online article that's very informative on preventing guardianship over you because guardians can become monsters. Do you want to make arrangements well in advance and make sure you're completely competent enough to do so. You really don't want just anyone, guardians can and often do become monsters, I've seen this happen. If you get federal benefits, definitely protect them for sure, definitely go through an elder care attorney on your own behalf and set up certain arrangements well in advance and stay updated as things change. Don't let anyone grab anything and definitely don't let anyone get custody of you. Sometimes you may find it best to keep people at a distance as you get older because this is when your most vulnerable to vultures. 

Everything mentioned here contributes to protecting yourself as you age, and is all part of preparing for your future

Ok, your predicament is not a pleasant one...So I am going to irreverently suggest the following, seeing as you have already gotten much sound advice.

1. Get a nice dog.
2. Spend any and all money you have to enjoy life to the fullest.
With any luck at all you'll croak before it is all gone...
Smiling your way and wishing you well.

Grace + Peace,

Bob

Wow. I think there's some useful information in the above post but a bit of editing would have really helped bring it out. Maybe make it into bullet points? I found it really hard to read.

I don't agree with all that I did get out of it. I have a number of creditors who take money directly out of my checking account, sometimes at their own insistence and sometimes just because it's easier for me. These range from my car loan, my gym membership, my life insurance, my electric bill, my cell phone bill, pretty much the gamut. I've never been ripped off or had any problem, except one month when I spent all my money before my electric bill came in. Oh well. :-) I think if you pick reputable companies and keep an eye on your account it's not a problem.

Almost everyone will require your social security number in order to extend credit, including future landlords. I've never had any trouble with that either, but you do need to check your credit report regularly to make sure your SSN has not wandered off in the wrong direction. Also, please have your social security card with you when you go to get your taxes done. This is the one day of the year when you actually should carry it with you. It's a royal pain for a tax preparer to try to work around not seeing it.

I don't think there's any good way to nursing home proof your assets, either, except by giving them away well in advance of your need. I also don't think it's ethical to do so, but that's another discussion altogether.

There is a lot of good information already posted here. I will just add this. First, I have two POAs. My sister used to be my POA, but after years of being my Mom's POA, I realized that this is a task for younger people, so I now have two close friends, one in her 50s and one in her 40s, as my POAs. Both are like family, and I have known them for decades, and I new the one in her 40s since she was four. 

Second, I created a document via my computer that lists every bit of important information about me that I could think of, e.g., the name and contact information of my accountant, lawyer, dentist, car insurance and on and on. It is a 34-page document at this point. I purchased a fire proof cabinet and have placed that and other documents (e.g., birth certificate) in it. 

I also have two 2-drawer filing cabinets that I set up just for the POAs. In this, I have my bank statements (always keep the January and June bank and other financial statements of past years) and utility bills and every important statement that a POA would need to know. In short, what I have done is to prepare and label all that I can think of that governs my life, so that the POAs know exactly where to go to find what they need. 

That document of which I spoke is in a folder labeled (in red) Read Me First. The POAs know about it. And, they know about the filing cabinets. And, the filing cabinets are also labeled POA.

 I believe by getting organized this way, it will take some of the burden off the POAs, and it will help me as I get older take care of myself, should I not need a POA.

 I hope this helps you and others.

Guilt and Sorrow, I am in your same situation. While looking through the gov't Medicare guide for Texas, I noticed Medicare Advantage Plans that I did not recognize. Turns out they were part of senior living communities (such as Erickson) which offers options from independent living to memory care. Someday I'll start looking into these options.

Yes!!!, to what Bob said!!!!!

Old Bob, I think I like your answer best, especially the part about spending most of your money, lol. I tell my kinfolk that's my intention now and then. I'm 62, no kids or hubby, don't have a lot but have helped the two nieces and one nephew financially enough these past years. My brother (my POA) and the rest know I'll be donating my body to the local university medical school, who will cremate me and scatter my ashes in their cemetery right on campus, so that's hopefully settled (I carry the card in my billfold). My paid-for little house is not in the nicest neighborhood and won't net much, and I figure my best bet is to stay right here till I can't anymore. I've lead a frugal life, don't own much anybody would want, and I'll continue this way, living below my means. When mom's in the cemetery, I'll feel like I can take a trip or two out of town. (Don't know about the dog since I don't like cleaning up doo-doo before I mow; I'm good with seeing my sister's dogs once in awhile). I'll probably be talking to mom's elder care lawyer in the future to update my own business.

Wow, I love seeing the topic written up this way. I am alone, and have found it depressing to go to group discussions about planning for elder care through the years, when most other people there have family and assets.

I spent years helping my disabled brother. Cetude, I hope you did not decide to take your Social Security early, with your ideas about a likely WW III - !! I was so sure the country was headed for financial crash and disasters, that I signed up for Social Security the day I turned 62. Now it is 11 years later - and if i had just waited, I'd bring in about $900 more a month for the rest of my life, than I'm planned to get now!

So, I agree with the worry - but as the saying goes, say your prayers, but carry your umbrella.

I appreciate everyone's comments here. Thinking about possible scenarios. I'll read them several times, as some things are done, others still to do. I'm in the process of a focus on de-cluttering - and I hope to gain myself space and possible mobility - I'm just not quite sure where I'd want to move, and my current home is convenient, but lonely, all separate houses.

I think I've been good at protecting myself in my life, but it's wise to reflect, and I really would like to have one more very nice dog, thanks Bob! Certainly a cat - right now I feel too broke - house rich, cash poor, to take on responsibility for an animal, for they cost a lot, especially if they get sick.

We truly need as a society to come to better awareness of the needs of caregivers, who may give up major portions of their time over years - as I did for my disabled brother. I don't regret that time, I found it interesting and gave me a good relationship and pride in what I accomplished -
but payment was not part of the deal, until the last 10 years, when I've received $300 a month. Agreeements with families are more common now, and were written up here in this forum, but they should include payment for long term care, for help at home for the caregiver when she or he ages, even in some defined creative ways, like hire a bookkeeper, home cleaner or organizer - too many caregivers are used to doing all that, and try to do it for ourselves, feeling overwhelmed for years.

If you end up in a nursing home, they will take what little bit you have and return poor and abusive care so you die as early as possible. So there is no need to "prepare" since the result will be the same. In fact the more you save, it just gives the nursing home more money to keep.   Don't feel bad--most kids impound their elders anyway so it makes no difference whether or not you have kids. I'm banking on nuclear war in a year or two--so none of this will matter. As a caregiver for my mom, I get no help from anybody, not even my brothers. Nothing. But once she dies they will be the first to swoop down like vultures and get whatever they can get. That much you can count on.

This has been on my mind a lot lately. I still have some time left and a number of years hopefully, but you never know. Caring for elderly really makes you realize what you'll see for yourself down the road. I have had near no help caring for my parent. My husband passed young, no help. I took care of him, took care of my mom too, no help, even my dad didn't help take care of my mom. Now I take care of dad, the irony. I'm pretty sure there won't be anybody there for me when I'm old. But when I go at least I'll know I did the right thing by my family, instead of living with guilt for years, I see it on the faces of my other family members. I don't want to be that.

I have kids, but one's health is really bad, I sadly could lose that child before my time comes, another is just irresponsible, I highly doubt she'd be able to handle taking care of her elderly mom, I don't see that changing. My health is good, knock on wood, I'm active and strong, trying to stay that way. I'm clearing stuff out of my home now, and scaling down, my dad left me with a nightmare of a hoarding situation to deal with, I learned a lot from that mess. I'm not like that, but have a lot of outgrown kids stuff that needs to go and their habits of storing their stuff at moms house and walking away has stopped. I'm also working on my home now and preparing to sell, I want to scale down to a small home when my dad is gone. My dad likes my home he's in now, that's the only reason I haven't sold yet. I have a burial policy with both kids as bens, had it for years they'll have no choice but to use it for those final expenses as the bill will come their way anyway. I have my retirement set up the same as my dads, since I set his up for him, my daughters are bens to my retirement account, and my two grandsons are secondary so if anything happens to one of their mother's they can step in. It's the actual person who would help you that's hard to find. Sadly my guess is it'll be whoever wants my house I'm living in at that time. I expect it would be that, rather than a paid caregiver. I will probably encourage a hired health aide/caregiver to come in once or twice a week, and have my kiddo who is around over see the work they do, and I will pay that caregiver health aid myself with a family member over seeing it. From what I've seen of nursing home care/assisted living, I've asked and reinforced with my kids to not do that to me, but in the end, that probably is what will happen. Kind of hoping I kill over in my garden and they find me rather than that.

Consider contacting an attorney that offers Life Care Planning, which combines elder law and care coordination.

There is some good information above but wanted to add to something that has been overlooked. With today’s technology, we can’t overlook computers, cell phones and all the passwords associated with each. I, like many others, have numerous accounts set up on web sites, including banks, retirement accounts, shopping sites, etc. All these passwords will change or need to be changed over the years. What I have done is purchased an app for my cell phone that I keep up to date information on all my passwords, credit cards, banking information, personal items for gifting at TOD, and anything else I want my POA to know. It’s the same as a bank vault and only requires one password and/or combination of various symbols. I keep it updated.
My POA is someone that I trust (non-family member) and will certainly follow out my wishes when the time comes. This person has my information on how to access this app on my phone or access to the information on the “Cloud” (if phone is lost) when it’s necessary. I do plan on spending down and estate planning of assets and updating my Will as necessary.
I’m currently 60 and the caretaker for both my parents and one uncle. I don’t regret any of it but at the same time don’t want someone to have to go through with I’m going through. I hope this helps others and I’m sure some won’t agree, but this works for me.

One note about nursing homes: when I looked in a rural area, at different nursing homes - I found a HUGE variety, but they all use the exact same language, designed by medical and legal professionals. I was stunned to see the variety, and most social workers and professionals, just have a vague idea of what differences there are.

It matters to really  consider some key features, particularly for someone alone - My adult disabled brother is in the "residential care end" of a small nursing home - and I chose that one because he likes to walk outdoors, and has a history of attending some regular activities like classes, or church. This place is one floor, on end of quiet street, neighborhood, with flat streets, so for 9 years he has walked to the library on Wednesdays, and church on Sat evenings.  He was younger disabled, so I also got him transportation to an ongoing remediation maintenance program for Brain Injury, he gets transported there, 4 days a week, all except Wed.  Many things don't work well, but in general, it has helped him feel less lonely than he did living alone,  and his ongoing activities,  combined with the ones organized, usually for groups in the nursing home, have given him a balance - they have some of the best country and bluegrass  musicians  who come play a couple of times a month, encourage participation.

When looking for a place for him, I first listened to recommendations from social workers - I went to explore those homes for him - and found many with steep stairs, narrow halls, sited on steep hills, had people sitting stationary in wheelchairs near the desks - would have been prison for him, disaster, but they didn't know the difference.

What you get depends on your classification, but it REALLY pays to look around. I have seen some some wonderful arrangements, for near disability stage: a large apartment building in a small city, that held lots of seniors in it - because it had an elevator, and the main entrance was only a block away from downtown - with bank, library, church, restaurants, etc.  Being easily able to stay active without depending only on staff,  is very helpful.

Now I just need a plan for myself, I'm 73, don't know whether I want to move to Canada where I'm from, or to a different part of the USA.  I have time to explore, what city do I want to live in? Rent, or buy?  Renting leaves my income vulnerable, or buy, but I don't want to do maintenance, so a better condo than I have now, could be good.  I also need my own trust in my own needs, to maybe borrow enough against my equity, to do repairs on my building so I can sell, and also to finance maybe 2 trips a year?  So hard to know how to explore!

Me, too; except I'm married with step-kids who can't look after us.
We've looked at LTC insurance, and really it doesn't look good to me. Too expensive for the potential return, imo.

My choice is a Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC), where you are guaranteed life-time care. You move into an independent house or apartment, then progress into AL or SNF as needed, taking advantage of all the services you need at each level. They require a significant buy-in amount, and you have to qualify financially and medically; but once you're in, you are assured that you'll be there for life, even if you run out of money. My thought is that you make friends there who will look out for each other's interests as we get to the various stages of incompetence. I've had family members who did this with wonderful results.

My caveats about CCRCs:
1) Some of them are in dire financial straits, so I fear that 20 years from now, when I'll really need help, they may be out of business, having spent all my money and left me with nothing but a worthless promise; and
2) Although you can visit today and see how nice and attentive the staff is and how clean the place is--especially in the skilled nursing section--you only have today's perspective to predict how it will be when you might need it! Especially if you're 64 like me and looking 20-30 years ahead.

A CCRC does play well with OldBob' s advice to spend your money and have a good time; because once you're in, you have the security of their promise of care, so you don't have to deny yourself small pleasures in order to scrimp for later.

Your idea to talk to an Elder Care attorney is spot on. It's crucial.

Doing a web search, I once ran across an elder care manager, I think in Tampa, FL, or that area. She is a lawyer, I think, who specializes in managing the affairs of those like us, who have no other trusted designees. So, there are professionals who do this; not cheap, but maybe better than a relative who doesn't care about you except for their inheritance.
My observation is that Florida seems to regulate elder care things a bit better than some other states, at least better than my home state of Indiana. Maybe because of the large number of vulnerable retirees there.

There may be that specific time when we realize we are no longer competent to handle our own affairs; but I've seen so many who have passed that point and still don't know it! So, here's to us who want to advance plan...I'd love to hear more suggestions, too.

Grannysmith... hoping my last day on earth is in my garden as well! 👍🌷

Don't know what state you are in - but in California I have put everything into a Revocable Living Trust with a Professional Fiduciary as the successor trustee if I become incapacitated. Everything I want is specified in my trust (including the care of my pets) . Be very specific (and of course get a really good estate attorney to draw up the trust). PFAC (Professional Fiduciaries Association of California) regulate the fiduciary - it is about as safe as you can get. And I would rather trust a non-relative with this because other than the monthly amount she would receive - there is no "future inheritance" to affect what is done. Also have POA and Power of Attorney for health care. Pre-need at cemetery, etc. We are the same age and much the same situation - By putting everything in trust - what you want to happen becomes a matter of law because the trust is registered with the state.

Oh, I also had put together a large bright red 3-ring binder with every possible question and an answer on what to do in regard to my later life and after life. So there shouldn't be any misteps by the Power of Attorney. Even the deed to the car and the deed to the house is in that binder.

That binder is right next to the binder from the Elder Law Attorney with my Will, Revocable Trust, Medical Directive, and all the other legal mumbo jumbo required. 

I also have a small password book [Hallmark sold these at one time] where I keep websites and password information..... for my POA and for me, easier then putting it on the computer.

Glad my Dad didn't put such info in a folder on the computer because one needed a password just to open up his computer, and eventually he couldn't remember his password or where he wrote down his password... oops. In the past, he would change that password 12 times in a year :P

I am of the same age. I have children unfortunately they are participating in Abondonment of Adult Parents, so I am on my own. I have consulted an Elder Law attorney and have all my paperwork in order. After what my late hubby and I went through with his POA...I have given my attorney my financial and durable power of attorney. I will just end up in a home or be found dead in my home eaten by my dog. I am very aggressive with my health and am in good health. There are no good answers for seniors. If I am diagnosed with dementia or Parkenson's I will do a few things on my bucket list and stop by a state were assisted suicide is legal. I do not want to go through what my hubby did. Nor do I want to take decades of someone elses life away from them. I have been unable to find any other agreeable solution. I just do what I can do in the present and relish every day because tommorrow is not promised to anyone.

I live alone. I never married nor had children; I had no desire to. I had many years of working as a data processing technician until a fall which resulted in a debilitating injury occurred in 2011; I had to leave the work force. I now am a Person Of Disability; I get SSID plus a pension from an insurance company I once worked for; they were taken over in 1999; I was dismissed. I will be 64 years old in September and I am looking into going into senior subsidized housing; I started the ball rolling for that a month ago. I did apply for housing in another state where my sister lives only to be refused on account of credit issues. I have cousins but they live all over the place and a lot of them, well, I am not on speaking terms with them anymore. Some are also dead. Thank Heaven for SSID, a pension, and I would like to be put back on Medicaid but I make to much for that so I am on Medicare.

I have done the same in preparation. I do have children. I love them and they love me . Perfect! Not so fast. Kids today are many minimulist. They will sell my antiques handed down in family for .25 cents each. They could care less about antiques. I give my girls at least 3 pieces of jewelry at Christmas. (Which ends up with their kids. I have already given a boatload of freebies to people for their garage sales. I had so much that a garage sale would be too much for me. I just turned 75. I am selling my home, putting money in bank and plan to travel. I have two baby Yorkies (brother and sister). My kids say I can move in with them. They really want me to. But I must adopt out my Yorkies. I can't do that. So I am at my wit's end trying to resolve my future. I have paid for my funeral and written my Obituary. Wow what's next?

You are not too old to find a companion. 63 is not old. So my advice is join groups and clubs and find a nice companion so you are not alone. End of life planning is great but you have plenty more living to do.

My Aunt, a widow with no children, had two long time girlfriends help her. One was POA for health, the other for finances. Worked out well. The financial gal ended up with about $110,000. of my Aunt's money. But, that was how it was set up and I have no problem with it.

I also have a girlfriend who used to do Trustee work for people who had no one else. An Attorney friend started her doing it. Expensive, but what else are you doing to do with the money?

I don't agree with not answering the door. Here in So. California burglars knock on the door to see if anyone is home before breaking in. I had a security door on Mom's place and instructed her to answer the door so they would know someone was home. I do the same.

When my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease, I found a reasonably price CCRC (Continuing Care Retirement Community) and we moved here. We did have to put in an entrance fee, but that made us contract residents and we are promised care even if we run out of money - through no fault of ours. We pay a monthly fee which covers one meal a day, all maintenance, entertainment (they take us to concerts and events on a bus), all utilities except telephone. So our monthly expenses are quite low. We love it here. We have a build-in community of friends and so won't become isolated. There is Assisted Living for when we need it, and a health care center. Nurses on duty all the time. We can live as independently as we wish now but know help is available when we need it. We sold our home which more than covered the entrance fee. Some are very expensive, but not all and the less expensive ones can be very nice. You can't move in until you are 65. You might want to visit some places to see what you think. I know that when my husband dies, I will be taken care of.

I like OldBob's advice best. Don't worry; be happy. Tomorrow might never come, then we missed out on the day.

When the time comes, I am wishing to be cremated. No funeral, no service, no nothing. I don't like funerals; sure it may bring closure and a chance to say good bye, but I don't really have any family in the area that I live in anymore, and a lot of the cousins I have are all over the place; some aren't speaking to me anymore (who cares) and some are dead (again, who cares)