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Thinking about taking a 6 day trip with husband with mod dementia. Has some ongoing confusion. Worried disruption to routine, plane trip, new locales, visiting family he rarely sees will mean he will be worse when he comes home. Any experiences you can share?

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I wouldn’t do it. If he doesn’t understand what’s going on, can’t connect the dots, doesn’t know who people are, where he is, etc., what will you do? Explaining won’t get you anywhere, he may exhibit some behavior you can’t control, and when you get home, you could have serious problems with readjustment.

You’re better off setting up Zoom or FaceTime. Try it!
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I did this with my husband about 6 months before I placed him in MC. It was not a good idea. He was much more disoriented being in a strange place. He wandered off from the hotel room. I thought he was in the bathroom and never heard him go out the door! It was very scary! I finally found him wandering around the parking lot. This could have been disastrous. Obviously, I decided there would be no more trips after that.
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I suppose each person is different. We traveled for several years after my wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer's without many problems and she seemed to enjoy the trips. But as the disease progressed so did the problems. At home she is not prone to wandering but there were occasional times I had to track here down when we traveled. Just this last year I have decided to stop going away except for fairly short drives; I find it too stressful and it no longer seems like she enjoys it either. .
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ConnieCaretaker Oct 2023
Using Air Tags may be the solution.
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my husband is three years since diagnosis. He is in the beginnings of the moderate stage. I have decided that if I do travel with him, we only go to familiar places with very familiar family or friends. It’s nice to have the support of others around me to keep him entertained and engaged and to help keep an eye on him. But I also find that when we return, we have added stress trying to get back into our routine, which is very predictable and structured each week. I’m not sure who has the harder time, him or me, but each time we go, I say this may be one of the last trips we take(which makes me very sad). I have considered taking him on other trips to places we once wanted to visit but I know in my heart it would not be worth the cost, the added stress, and the anxiety experienced when we return home.
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He may not only be worse when he is home, but he may be worse on the trip. It isn't something I would do, but if you choose to the more likely screnario is that he will be upset during the trip and once again OK at home. This is something you cannot predict, really.
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It sounds like YOU need a vacation. Hire a caregiver for a week? Any friends or relatives around who could stay with him? You need a break.
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ConnieCaretaker Oct 2023
Or, find assisted living that offers respite care and then book a wellness vacation for yourself.
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I would say it would depend. Is your husband easy or difficult.

I travel with my father and confusion and forgetfulness are predominant. Otherwise happy go lucky. We visit places he has been before so can constantly relate things. Upon ‘re entry’ there is often 2-3 days of getting back to normal.

i am at the point where we have taken our last trip (I believe). The prep and tax on me is not worth the squeeze. It’s turned into traveling with a 2 yo. Prep a bag, the things he feels he needs, extra depends, etc. it’s great to provide the change, break or experience but it’s come to an end. You know it when you reach it and you won’t know it unless you do it.

also consider safety in your arrangements. I had to beg Marriot to give me adjoining rooms once and my dad still got out of the room at 2am to wonder where he was. The desk had been forwarded and were great when we ran out in pjs after him.

good luck.
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My mom is always confused and somewhat agitated when I take her out of her routine. It's like she is trying to process everything and mentally can't and her brain is on overload. As their disease progresses, their worlds get smaller for a reason...that is what they can handle.

I do not recommend traveling with him. It more than likely won't be pleasant for either of you.
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Don't do it. Not only will he be confused and rattled during the trip, he likely won't bounce back because he'll forget his routine and won't get it back.

This will make it harder on you than even on him.
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My husband only has mild-moderate dementia. Along with what may be worse when you return, you need to consider the multiple environments you will need to maneuver through. Whenever I am considering anything outside of our home, even local, I consider the consequences that "I" would have to pay for the experiences.

Will there be a family bathroom, or will one of our sons be along or other capable man be available to help him otherwise?

Will there be laundry facilities available in case of more than usual incontinence issues?

What extra effort will it take to be sure he has proper nutrition... if special food, products or special utensils need to be brought along?

Will there be anyone trustworthy to help supervise to prevent him from wandering off... even to go find the bathroom without me realizing it? Everyone says they will watch him, but then often are distracted.

Will we be in situations with large crowds that may be overwhelming... as well as possible exposure to FLU, COVID, RSV, etc. The worse case scenario... medical care or hospitalization, even for every day chronic issues.... especially if we are too far from home to return to our providers.

Will we have a schedule we will need to follow... what if we are late. Will I end up missing the activities that was the purpose of the trip?

These are just a few of the concerns for me in a normal day that when they occur at home, do not stress me... but away from home is a different story. So, the bottom line is how much will I get out of an event if he accompanies me as well as the issues that may cause him unnecessary stress. I have found when he is along, a simple conversation with someone else can be next to impossible.

You know his overall abilities and the concerns you have for him just at home so visualize how they could be magnified in an unfamiliar environment.

One experience I can share is several years ago we traveled on a plane. The bulkhead seats are not always available. I didn't even consider the consequences until we were about to get seated. With the small amount of space, I realized he would have trouble maneuvering into the window seat. I then realized if he took the aisle seat, I would have trouble helping him out if I were behind him, especially if we were in an emergency situation.

Yes, some things are well worth the inconveniences and set backs. Only you can answer this.
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