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My dad is in a nursing home with advanced dementia. Apparently he is constantly fidgeting with his clothes and ripping them. We have purchased sweat pants without a string and pullovers with no zippers or buttons and that has helped. But he still seems to want to do "something" with his hands. Just curious if anyone has ever run into this and if they found any objects that helped? As I write this I remembered as a little girl having a "dressy bessy" and "dapper dan" doll where you could learn to dress a doll. I'm not sure that would work but it popped into my head just now. Any other ideas?


Thanks in advance!

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fidget quilts and fidget blankets can Often help with this kind of behavior. The right one will be engaging and entertaining. You can find them reasonably priced on Amazon and Etsy.
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There is a toy for children with attention difficulties called a fidget spinner. There is another toy to occupy children with attention difficulties called Aaron's thinking putty. Should be able to order either of these items through Amazon.
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What if he don't want to play with any of these toys that occupys them?
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I make Twiddle Mitts which are covered in ribbon, buttons, toggles etc. And also put ribbon inside the mitt. They are so easy to make and fun to decorate. I live in the UK so can't send you one but if you Google Twiddle Mitts you should find a pattern.
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My mom has an animated cat, that stretches, purrs, meows, etc. Mom was just in the hospital, and it was a lifesaver! You can turn the sound off, or the sound & movement off. It is called Joy For All, companion pets, about $90. They have several styles of cats and a couple puppies. I take them to doctor appointments, etc. I also made her a fidget, with lots of textures. She likes furry, fuzzy & silky.
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Is he capable of coloring? Perhaps you could try that or a stuffed animal.
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Let me add dominoes. He can play a version of the game... or play both sides... or use them to make designs or build with them. And it has a benefit of being an adult game, not a children's toy... if that still matters to him. Get several sets. Can you get two sets in different colors? There is also a design game using colored pieces of wood... squares, rectangles, triangles (approx. size of dominoes) which invites creativity, building, and playing with color and order.
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The normal dementia answer is to redirect-- give him something to occupy himself-- magazines, newspapers, even coloring books. What you cannot expect is anything ever again " normal behavior" -- so time to move on and let him be himself no matter how irrational. Good luck. PRAY for him.
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Depending on mental level, pooping bubble wrap can be used as a calming activity.
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This past summer I bought a furry robotic dog, for my husband, made by Hasbro (in the past)called "biscuit", on eBay. It is working fantastically for both of us. He loves it and when he is holding and petting it, it is quiet time for me. He even falls asleep in the recliner, while petting him. When he asks what the dog eats, I tell him he doesn't because he is a senior citizen, apartment dog that has batteries instead so that way he doesn't have to p**p outside. My husband likes that until the next time he asks the same question. I hope this will be the same comfort companion down the road, but right now it sure is a blessing for us. He even enjoys the dogs movements and sounds, but if this would upset someone the switch could be turned off.
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Hi. One of my friends' mom had Alzheimer's. She bought one of those activity mats (buttons, shapes and objects are sewn on fabric) like you use with little kids. They placed the mat in her lap or on the table, on the bed. Her mom played with or handled the items on the mat. Hope this helps 🙏
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Look up on line: fidget blankets, fidget blankets, etc. Sewn, crocheted, or knitted.
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Adult coloring books? Sewing cards?
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I have not had time to read the other comments, which I will do later today. The only thing I would suggest is what ever you give him, make sure it is too large for him to swallow. Like you would or would not give to a child. I learned that with my mother. She put everything in her mouth, where she never did that before. Things that make sense to us sure does not with them. My best to you.
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Lindacarducci, I like the idea of stones; I bought a few dubbed "worry stones".   They're actually gem stones filed down to show the most lovely colors, and are very smooth to the touch.  They are soothing.

MelissaPA, "busy boards" is a good suggestion; I think I might make one for myself just for practice, as using hand tools also helps (me) keep my fingers flexible.  

The other posts with similar suggestions reminded me that one of the OT's at one rehab facility had similar boards that were used as part of OT, regardless of the nature of the specific issue for which someone was in rehab.   TomUS, the items you suggested have also been used in rehab facilities.  

This subject of what to do with fidgety, idle hands appears periodically on the forum, and there are a lot of good suggestions.  But I think those made on this specific thread are some of the best I've read.   I bookmark these threads for later referrals, and this thread and its insightful suggestions definitely falls in that category.
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I have gone through several stages w my dad. A box w all kinds of small tools. I told him he needed to go through box & get rid of anything he doesn't use. He was busy for an hour. Now, I buy rubber toys from dollar store. Just make sure they are too large to put in mouth. They "look" like a stress ball, a breast implant or an octopus, in different colors. These simple toys have helped reduce anxiety, even better than meds, for my dad.
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We found a ‘rubiks ‘ cube worked wonders for my father- kept his hands busy for quite some time during the day.
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My husband (of 50 years) has dementia and has always been a fidgeter. I tried lots of things and they worked for awhile. Ball to squeeze, hand strengthening tool, jacks to twirl, small puzzles with large pieces, Legos to build things, you just have to try different things until you find something that works. Eventually, he became so anxious (OCD) that his doctor put him on a very small dosage of anxiety meds. It slows things down just enough that he no longer wants to play in trashcans. Hope this helps.
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Google "worry beads". This item is used in many countries for people who like to fidget. Safe and inexpensive.
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Alocal sewing store had a class on making fidget mats. They are simpke to make and keep those hands busy. Be sure to put o odd things that will keep mind guessing what it is. A piece of fur, sand paper, crunkly, crunchy paper... google fidget mat.
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Ikea makes a wooden bench with plastic screws, bolts and tools its a toy but good quality and reasonable on price. maybe secure one onto a table for him? All the other suggestions are great too. I know you will find something unique to his interest. All the best!
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Know someone that quilts? You can have a dementia quilt made. It uses many different types of fabrics (cotton, velvet, chenille) and ribbons, etc... The quilt has a great "touch factor" which I might help.
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My Dad truly enjoys folding fast food type napkins(heavier and easier to crease)...perfectly folds...lots of them! Maybe give him a roll of paper towels and let him know that it would be a big help if he could fold a bunch for you. My father uses them as tissues, but that’s him!
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geoblue Dec 2019
My dad folds paper towels and Kleenex as well, it keeps him quieter
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Depending how handy you or others in your family are, if you search “busy boards for men” in Pinterest you’ll find lots of ideas. Essentially, you take a piece of plywood and put different locks, latches, zippers, etc, on it. I was saving ideas to make one for my dad, but then his circumstances changed dramatically. Wishing you the very best and sending you hugs.
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Consider a smooth crystal or short prayer beads (large ones).
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My daughter crocheted fidget muffs. The activities director bought at Moms LTC bought 4 of them.

You could take a baby blanket and sew on stuff. Like a zipper. A bow that can be retied. There are examples on the internet.
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Spouny hand balls seen those at the Al where my family is. Seems to amuse them.
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GMCrock, a fidget blanket designed for a man could be helpful.   Unless there are issues with him accidentally injuring himself, think of something like using a screw driver to turn in screws, different sized screws and bolts (especially the large ones), add some washers, and other tools.   

Look for children's toys designed for men.   Extra large puzzles might be considered, although it's possible this could frustrate him if he's unable to match the sides.

What did he do as a profession when he was working?  
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Unless he is too far gone and would put something in his mouth, Legos might occupy him.
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TNtechie Dec 2019
I would recommend the larger duplex legos - they are easier to avoid stepping on... ouch!
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My Dad loved coloring books. They have a huge selection of adult coloring books.

not only kept his hands busy, but helped to calm him too. Between coloring books and peace and quiet...we could usually delay onset sundowner by a couple hours.
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Somethingelsa Dec 2019
My husband loves coloring as well . We did however have to buy very simple children’s coloring books ( of dogs as he loves those) as the adult ones became too difficult. My granddaughter also suggested painting small rocks which he really enjoyed and we all painted some and made a tiny rock garden in front of our house . I call it our Zen garden but it’s kind of a gardenette 😂 I just bought some brick pavers and painting them is our next project to “fancy “ up our patio . He does fidget constantly while sitting and watching TV or listening to iTunes . He sometimes rubs his knuckles raw so it’s really a constant battle . I bought some items from an online Alzheimers source and sometimes they work and sometimes not . What works best is petting the dog but sometimes he gets too intense and poor thing gives him a dirty look and jumps down from the sofa . In the early evening we sit outside in front of our house and he holds the dog on his lap and visits with our neighbors as they pass by . In that way he can’t fidget and is social at the same time . Yesterday his hands were very restless and I was going to make twice baked potatoes so I had him wash 10 pounds of potatoes which made him feel useful , kept his hands busy and also tired him out a bit . All these things work now but who knows what tomorrow will bring . I’m finding it’s trial and error and whether he is having a day where he’s receptive to my suggestions . Good luck everyone . Pat yourselves on the back and say
“good job” cause we need to hear that even if it’s from ourselves .
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