There is a new nurse at mom's SNF. He seems overly interested in getting morphine on board and Xanax and calls me every time mom is struggling. It's a fairly straightforward matter of draining the fluid off her lung and then she's comfortable and can breath. But each time the fluid builds up, instead of getting it drained he talks about her need for morphine. I thought it was just me that found him overly pressuring about it but when my son met him tonite he said he wanted him off my mom's care. Hes very nice but I feel he's either new or possibly a problem..
We all have to remember I think, that family members can be difficult to work with for a variety of reasons, but when you add that they are getting conflicting and confusing input from each nurse on each shift, it can add to the stress dramatically. And when the Dr asked, I realized that by me verbally telling them who helps, and who might be steering the boat off course, it wasn't to get someone in trouble (which was my first thought) it was just to keep a 5 star facility just that. Just always have to be mindful of how we word things. Meaning well and doing well aren't always the same thing.
I'll get thru this, as will Mom. But it sure helps to have this sounding board
So anyway, after seeing her doctor today when I came out of the SNF and she asked how it was going, I voiced my concerns and questions. When I went in this evening to visit with my mom she was up and coherent! They hadn't dosed her! I can't tell you what a roller coaster ride this feels like. I mentioned the nurse that seems so gung ho w the meds to her Dr, and idk if she said something to the staff or if mom just had a good day but they didn't dose her with the Xanax and she was fine. We went to the cafeteria, in her wheelchair, and had a nice conversation and everything. This is what makes all these decisions so difficult! When I arrive at the SNF and she's unconscious and the nurse is pushing for morphine and Norco and Xanax and telling me how they're trying to make her more comfortable, and then when she's not dosed she's up and okay. She has never, ever complained of pain. I realize she has cancer, and she's 96, and she does get anxious. But it was a relief to know that the idea that she was being overmedicated wasn't all in my head. Thanks for 'listening'