I’m not looking for a reason… the reason is Alzheimer’s, but there are some WEIRD behaviors. Anyone else experiencing this? 1. Refusal to bathe. Caregiver tries every time. My mom gets violent about it. She’s on meds and doesn’t really get violent about much else. 2. Bathroom use… she manages to somehow scoop her poop out of the toilet and put it in a plastic bag which she ties off and then hides in various places. 3. Hoarding things but especially paper. My dad can’t refill toilet paper fast enough. We already replaced regular toilet paper with single sheet dispenser. He finds toilet paper tucked in books, pockets, pillowcases etc. 4. Shredding things and then scattering them everywhere. Usually wet paper, but most recently my dad stepped outside for a few minutes to throw out trash and she shredded the raw meat he had defrosting in the sink. He came back in and it was gone. I found it shredded into pieces and thrown all over the garage. The ONE door that wasn’t locked at that moment. 5. Thinking everything is hers… from the directions I was using to assemble a chair to the chess set my kids use… we ask her if we can borrow it for a while, but until she agrees, she’s pretty angry about it.
I mean, what in the world?
Medicaid varies from State to State. See what is available for help as your Dad really needs more hands-on help for your Mom. Don't be surprised if Medicaid sends a caregiver just for a few hours each day or week. It all depends on the State's program. State usually will pay for a family member (you) to be your Mom's caregiver for a limited number of hours each week, usually at minimum wage (there are only 8 States that will pay a Spouse to be the caregiver).
Is your Dad able to get a good night sleep? If not, then he would need to consider having an over-night caregiver. Sleep is so very important when one is the main caregiver. Lack of sleep can do damage to one's health.
My dad does get sleep. My mom’s medication technically should help with sleep as well, and she does, for the most part.
I really do wish I understood why they shred things. What on earth is going on in their brains when they pick up a piece of meat? Do they think "Guess I'll just tear this to bits today?" Or "I like the feel of shredded toilet paper, so I'm going to make myself feel good by tearing up a whole roll?" If anyone knows how this occurs to them, lots of them, all over the world, I wish you'd enlighten the rest of us!
What happens at night? I gave up when my mother needed to be supervised at random intervals in the night. Your mom needs constant 24/7 supervision. Time to consider a care home. The fecal contamination is disturbing and unsafe for ALL of you.
Sorry - I snort laughed at her shredding the meat. I bought a box of frozen chicken breasts and the photo on the box showed them cooked - a serving suggestion. My mother moved the box to her fridge and started eating them. Amazed she wasn’t ill.
The issues with placing in a home… she’s constantly searching for my dad. Can’t be away for too long and causes immense stress when she is (though she hates him!!). And then there’s finances… can’t afford to pay out of pocket for a facility. We are working with an elder attorney to get Medicaid. Once that kicks in, more round the clock care will be affordable and that will be the first step before an ALF.
And since dementia only gets worse and never better, it really is time to have your mom placed in a memory care facility, where her behaviors can be better monitored and her medications adjusted as needed.
And where your dad can get back to just being her husband and advocate and not her overwhelmed caregiver.
Your mom is no longer safe at home, and placement in a facility needs to be made sooner than later.
Is it just you and your dad? You really need an army to keep these more active Alzheimer's patient safe. I hope you have help.
If it is not a UTI infection, your family needs to decide if it is time for a memory care facility or nursing home. I know this isn't what most family want, but please note, if your Dad is your Mom's main caregiver, there is a 40% chance he could pass from the physical and emotional stress of doing the caregiving. From a previous post you had written, sounds like he is very overwhelmed. Then, if you take over for your Mom's care, then that 40% is now on you. Not good odds.
Lots to think about.