I am the POA for my 88yo mom with advanced dementia. I am the one who has had to place her in a memory care facility, sell her car, sell her house, & now figure out what to do with all her possessions. I feel guilty, like a child caught doing something wrong, even though I know that she will never live in her home again. No support from sibs as they are out of town & haven't seen mom in years. Anyone else feel this way?
But! I feel so wonderful now, knowing my mother is safe, gets her meds, receives constant attention and she is happy to see me again, because I know I did the right thing by her.
Ever so often, I look at her and think "did I do the right thing?" then she asks: "Who are you?" or "Is it time for lunch?" as we are walking away from the breakfast table.
You will be fine, you will start to see proof that you are doing the right thing.
Yep. With every decision I make regarding my dad's life.
You are not alone. I'm not sure we ever stop feeling guilty, but I do think that we, when we are ready, just come to a realization that we are doing what we can to make their lives easier. That point is different for everyone.
After 18 months she still sometimes asks where this or that went, sometimes determined that the house and its contents are still there waiting for her to "get better". If it's at the odd time she's lucid I tell her the truth. If not I fib. Her dementia is at the stage she believes fibs.
This quote works for me "She put on her big girl bloomers and did what needed to be done. And nobody and no thing could stop her." ~ Queenisms™
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