I don't know how to put it, but honest to God, there is a tone of voice my father uses when he "asks" (aka "tells") me to do something that is like nails on a chalkboard.
I think it's partly because when he worked he was a manager of a large department in a big company and he was used to "asking" people to do things in a way that made it clear it was an order, and now he's treating me like an employee. But ugh!
For example, we bought him a nice one cup coffee maker for his assisted living room and he broke it. (He breaks a lot of stuff). The way he told me: "That coffee maker your husband got me? It crapped out after like ten cups of coffee! I need a new one."
Or, even before he says hello! "I need you to go to Target and get me some things."
I really feel like I would be less frustrated if he asked more nicely. I mean, I have a teenager at home and she asks for things more politely! It seems petty, but it's very draining to be spoken to like this. But when I tell him how frustrating it is, he gets mad and says "fine, I won't ask you for anything ever again." (I wish!)
I would tell him to knock it off and grow up when he said that to me. Be mad all you want daddiO but, you will treat me with courtesy at a minimum or you can figure out some other way.
People treat us how we allow them to treat us. Teach him that asking nicely will get far better results than ordering you around.
My dad was very similar and it made him mad to have to ask civilly. Oh well, play nice or I don't play, I am an adult and I am no longer subject to my dads rule. It took him having to take a taxi to finally get the point but, he did get it.