At random times during the day, I have these anxiety attacks at times. It's not when there is a crisis. Then I'm fine since there's action that needs to be taken. It's the in between times. It's the anxiety about what could happen that does it. I just find myself with a loudly beating heart and cold with fear.
I was prescribed ativan, the lowest dose and Effexor, lowest dose. I've been really trying to wean off of them cause they can really mess you up and you lose the ability to cope naturally which isn't good.
This whole business with my brother has raised a lot of the issues that were prevalent when my mom was in nursing care. My family just seems to scatter. No one communicates properly. It's like dealing with a bunch of children truly.
Sendme, a valuable contributor on here gave me some good advice. She said "don't go through your siblings for info. on your brother. Communicate with the hospital and doctors/nurses directly." That's what I've been doing and it works for me. They all have phones and they can do the same.
Cause dealing with sibs really raise the anxiety issues for me.
Yeah. When you need relief from the bad anxiety, there's nothing quite as helpful imo than benzodiazepines.
I suppose that happens in a lot of different circumstances, quakes, fires, volcanoes, floods, tsunamis, tornadoes and most especially crimes, we have high crime here. My daughter was attacked. The guy pushed her down on the sidewalk, she cracked a bone near her eye. He stole her purse. She’s always looking around in her surroundings and gets panic attacks. Happens in good neighborhoods too. Not just bad areas of the city. She was on St. Charles Ave in a beautiful section of the city.
It’s horrible for areas with school shootings and terrorist attacks.
All of us have lived through very difficult and challenging situations. Do you think that society is coping better or worse in these times? Throughout history there have been awful circumstances that created all kinds of problems for people. Interesting to ponder...People back then didn’t have the aid of psych drugs, support groups, etc. Must have been brutal for them. Yet, their outlook seemed to be different, don’t you think?
Im also looking for answers, concerning elder law (power of attorney, will, house in his name)
Looking at Grouphomes.for my Husband of 30 years. He is 87.
Daily problem I'm having is ;
Panic/fright first thing in the am.
The weight is the heaviest on me
In the middle of the night '3am',
And when I open my eyes first thing in the morning. The thought of starting another day is hard.
By noon I'm much better, and the rest of the day/evening are tolerable. I'm considering getting a Life Coach. The $$ spent might be worth the peace of mind.
My good friend is caring for her younger sister in her home with Downs and recently developed dementia. The dementia totally changed her sister’s personality and behavior. I have no idea how my friend is able to be so patient. She has her hands full! She does have help now. Hospice. She will take breaks and leaves the house. She is an avid reader, always has been and she will go pick out a book from a bookstore to buy.
My friend is single so obviously she has to work full time to support herself. She has caregivers through hospice that are incredible! She has a hospice nurse and social worker. Her other sister cared for her at first but it became too much for her because she is married with kids and placed her in a facility. The facility did not work out and somehow my friend’s sister ended up escaping the facility. They couldn’t find her for a very long time. Fortunately, at the time she didn’t have the dementia and was fairly high functioning and when someone found her she told them her name.
They were able to track down my friend and she moved her into her home. The dementia was very upsetting. She no longer walks, in wheelchair, in diapers, was aggressive at times, eats again now but had stopped eating, no longer speaks, etc. She has to be on certain meds. So strange to see how dementia effects certain people. She is 51 years old. My friend says she probably doesn’t have too much time left.
She has a blanket with all of these gadgets on it. She fiddles around with it. Can someone explain how this works? Just curious.
It may take awhile to find one that works for you. It also helps with my depression, since my MIL lives with us now.
This answer surprised me coming from a nurse. Nurses are awesome! Very knowledgeable with tons of experience. Calm and organized to do a very challenging job! Guess I never thought of nurses falling apart like the rest of us do at times. Nurses are the ones who beautifully care and comfort others.
I totally agree. So many people are hooked! Those drugs are extremely addictive. I think everyone knows at least one person that ended up in rehab. Addiction happens very quickly for some people and they don’t realize it until they try to get off of the drugs. Even taking them as prescribed by the doctor. Very sad.
People never think it will happen to them. Thanks for posting a realistic warning about benzodiazepines.
I cared for her 3 days/nights a week and asked for nothing while I was injured and away from work. Now, she has a different person every day and night and the so-called accredited agency has been less than responsive. The owner who gave me his card said to call if I ever have ANY concerns. I call him once, and he has his assistant call me back. Disgraceful. I will never recommend these types of agencies that just stay in business off the backs of others.
Taking care of a loved one is the most rewarding experience in life. Ask yourself why everyone is always in a rush to have kids.
she does this every so often, if she thinks someone has “done her wrong”. Or rather, she perceives someone has slighted her, in her opinion.....
she has had depression and anxiety most of her life i think, undiagnosed for sure, because “ she” isnt the one with the problem..... me, my sister, and everyone else is. One time i was trying to get her to speak with her dr about depression and she literally screamed at me in the most sarcastic voice, “well just what do i have to be depressed about??” I mean it came out as a hissing noise....well i just shut my mouth and walked away saying “nothing, mom, absolutely nothing.”
what else can you do???? I live in the same apt complex so i see mom every day, drive her and her friend everywhere, help them whenevr they need it, cook meals for them, clean their apts, take them grocery shopping, anything i can do to help. But she calls my sister and tells her i spend ALL my time at the pool with my 2 friends....sis says moms jealous of them. That was a real eye opener!!!! Guess we need to keep an open mind and laugh a lot and breathe deep, when it comes to caregiving......blessings to all who are walking this journey 💖 Liz
May I share something that my dear MIL once shared with me? Her mom was riddled with anxiety but 99 % of what she worried about never happened! That put it in perspective for me when she told me how miserable her mother made herself and others around her with her chronic worrying.
Save your worry or concern for legitimate issues. For instance, when my teenager totaled the car and was in the ER covered in blood! Poor kid, just an accident. She wasn’t driving recklessly, just inexperienced. Then I was very worried! But that’s a genuine concern.
She was unconscious and when she came to, she looked up at me and said that she was sorry about my car. I told her I didn’t care about the car and that I only wanted her to be okay. A car can be replaced, she couldn’t have been replaced. Thank God she wasn’t killed. She suffered injuries and has back issues but she’s alive! Other stuff usually isn’t as bad as we think it is and doesn’t deserve that much focusing on.
I sometimes overreact like everyone else. We all do! No one is perfect. But I remind myself constantly of her very wise words.
Take care and many hugs!
I went for cognitive training and one thing I learned that has helped me when I start to feel one coming on is focus on something if you can. Anything. Look at something totally unrelated to you and concentrate on it. Like, oh look at the cloud, the shape of it, what does it look like. I know it sounds dumb but I find it works. Plus knowing that in the past when I've had one that I didn't die and remembering that cause when you are in the midst of one that is what makes it spiral out of control. So just remind yourself that you won't die. You didn't last time.
Being a caregiver is an extremely stressful job. You are making decisions for more than just yourself and holding the quality of someone else's life in your hands. And, because most of the people we are caring for are elderly, frail, have health and/or mental issues, anything can happen at any time. Not knowing when the other shoe might drop can produce anxiety in even the most laid back person, I think. Add to that many months or years of this and it will finally reach a point where anxiety is your body's way of saying "time out".
This forum is excellent for finding others who are experiencing similar things. I've found that most of the people in my life don't understand the anxiety and think I can just get over it. But here, there are many of us who know exactly what you are talking about and it definitely helps not to feel like you're alone. And there are always many good suggestions on how to cope. I wish you all the best in finding a good solution for yourself - and if you do, please also share it with us.
I take a mild anti-anxiety medication too b/c it runs in my family. Deep breathing has always been a big help! I feel for you. I hope you have faith in God. I cannot make it without Christ being with me daily.