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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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You’ve given me a lot to consider. Everyone is different. That’s true. She had told another friend that she wasn’t sure if they would do surgery, so.......maybe that’ll be up to her. I hope the best for her. Life can be so strange.
Recently, there was a 2 year anniversary of my dear friend’s death, who had kidney cancer. I think of him every day. And, in May of this year will be the one year anniversary of another long time dear friend from sepsis. He had spinal surgery and it never really healed. It seems endless.
I will say many prayers for my friend with stomach cancer moving forward. Whichever route she takes, it seems there will be plenty of need for support, assistance and encouragement.
I don't know the answer to your question, but I do know that my ex was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer 5 years ago. He's alive & well now with clean PET scans after undergoing chemo treatments and surgery.
We have a friend, also dxed with stage 4 lymphoma, who's considered cured now after a pretty grueling 4 year battle. A bone marrow transplant is what finally did the trick.
So, while your friend may have a LOT of chemo & treatments in store for her and probably cannot live alone during that process, she may still LIVE. That's my point. Nobody has a crystal ball to see the future outcomes of such things, but there is hope!
I think Midkid's Grandma was one of the lucky ones. This is what I found
"overall relative survival rate for all stages of stomach cancer is 31.5 percent. The five-year relative survival rate for distant stomach cancer (stage 4) is 5.3 percent.Apr 25, 2019"
If I had a 5% survival rate, I would not subject myself to surgery or chemo. I would just put my life in order and enjoy what time I have left. She will need Hospice. If you have facilities for that, she may want to go that way. If not, it means "in home" and she will need someone there 24/7. Eventually, she will probably be in a morphine sleep for the pain.
My GF passed in November from stage IV stomach cancer at 70. She had other factors too, diabetes, heart problems and Parkinsons. She was also a negative person. Surgery was not done but chemo was. The chemo caused big problems for her and had to be stopped. While in the hospital, she contracted COVID and survived that. Went to rehab and transferred to LTC because she needed 24/7 care and had no one who could provide care nor could she afford it.
I have a longtime friend (63 yrs) that does nothing but give to others. These types of people don't deserve this kind of thing. I pray that I am wrong and she is one of the 5% who can beat this. Attitude has a lot to do with it.
I went through NHL at age 62-63. It was awful, but I was in good health other than the cancer (stage IV). Chemo was awful.
I did not require surgery, so that helped make my decision easier. My grandma had stomach cancer in her 70's. She was one tough nut. Her surgery was awful--a lot like what I would think a gastric bypass would be like--but 'open' wound, not laproscopic, so it did take her a long time to heal. She did not do chemo. She recovered well enough to enjoy 15 more years.
In her early 90's she was dxed with breast cancer and she opted for no treatment. That is not what she died from, and it really didn't affect her QOL.
Gma had neighbors and family with her pretty much 24/7. Just getting up was pretty hard--and she needed a lot of help. BUT--she lived alone to the end.
Having said that--everyone's cancer journey is their own.
I appreciate your comments and words of kindness. This is for an old friend of mine. I still can’t believe it. Of course, she’s such an incredible person....always helping others. She has taken care of two other people in her life who fought cancer battles. Seems so unfair.
Unfortunately life is very often unfair. I don't know if surgery is an option with advanced cancer like she has. Maybe you can help her look at her options. Quality vs quantity of life. How long do they think she has with and without surgery or various treatments? Personally, I am more interested in quality and pain management when I think about end-of-life decisions. Good luck.
I’m no doctor, but with most any stage IV cancer... there’s not a whole lot left that can be done. Surgery would not change the outcome.
Please understand, I’m not trying to be mean, cold, or defeatist. When someone we love is this sick, we want to cling to any possible straw that can change or improve the circumstance. It comes down to quality of life in the time someone has left. I’m so sorry.
I am so sorry for this diagnosis. I don't know that surgery is an option for this stage as generally it does mean that there is some spread, and that the prognosis if not good. I hope you are discussing all of this, and the options for treatment, with the MDs. Give it time. The shock of the diagnosis is at the forefront now and it is difficult to think what to do. Be certain the the POA and advanced directives are done and that options for who will assist are in place and discuss with the MD. I can't know current condition of patient as you do not tell us. Whatever is currently the case it may be unlikely that there is "curative" or uphill motion in future. The level of facility the person can live in will be dependent upon his or her condition ongoing. I wish you luck on this journey and hope you have good MDs who will discuss with you how to get social services help, and advice ongoing. Hope you will update us.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Recently, there was a 2 year anniversary of my dear friend’s death, who had kidney cancer. I think of him every day. And, in May of this year will be the one year anniversary of another long time dear friend from sepsis. He had spinal surgery and it never really healed. It seems endless.
I will say many prayers for my friend with stomach cancer moving forward. Whichever route she takes, it seems there will be plenty of need for support, assistance and encouragement.
We have a friend, also dxed with stage 4 lymphoma, who's considered cured now after a pretty grueling 4 year battle. A bone marrow transplant is what finally did the trick.
So, while your friend may have a LOT of chemo & treatments in store for her and probably cannot live alone during that process, she may still LIVE. That's my point. Nobody has a crystal ball to see the future outcomes of such things, but there is hope!
"overall relative survival rate for all stages of stomach cancer is 31.5 percent. The five-year relative survival rate for distant stomach cancer (stage 4) is 5.3 percent.Apr 25, 2019"
If I had a 5% survival rate, I would not subject myself to surgery or chemo. I would just put my life in order and enjoy what time I have left. She will need Hospice. If you have facilities for that, she may want to go that way. If not, it means "in home" and she will need someone there 24/7. Eventually, she will probably be in a morphine sleep for the pain.
My GF passed in November from stage IV stomach cancer at 70. She had other factors too, diabetes, heart problems and Parkinsons. She was also a negative person. Surgery was not done but chemo was. The chemo caused big problems for her and had to be stopped. While in the hospital, she contracted COVID and survived that. Went to rehab and transferred to LTC because she needed 24/7 care and had no one who could provide care nor could she afford it.
I have a longtime friend (63 yrs) that does nothing but give to others. These types of people don't deserve this kind of thing. I pray that I am wrong and she is one of the 5% who can beat this. Attitude has a lot to do with it.
I did not require surgery, so that helped make my decision easier. My grandma had stomach cancer in her 70's. She was one tough nut. Her surgery was awful--a lot like what I would think a gastric bypass would be like--but 'open' wound, not laproscopic, so it did take her a long time to heal. She did not do chemo. She recovered well enough to enjoy 15 more years.
In her early 90's she was dxed with breast cancer and she opted for no treatment. That is not what she died from, and it really didn't affect her QOL.
Gma had neighbors and family with her pretty much 24/7. Just getting up was pretty hard--and she needed a lot of help. BUT--she lived alone to the end.
Having said that--everyone's cancer journey is their own.
Please understand, I’m not trying to be mean, cold, or defeatist. When someone we love is this sick, we want to cling to any possible straw that can change or improve the circumstance. It comes down to quality of life in the time someone has left. I’m so sorry.
I wish you luck on this journey and hope you have good MDs who will discuss with you how to get social services help, and advice ongoing. Hope you will update us.
I really don’t know but I want to offer my support.
I hope it works out for them.