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Imho, those who suffer from depression are going to experience "crying jags" ad they are sad. ANYONE who utters the words " I wish I were dead" MUST be taken seriously! I am not saying that your husband is one of these individuals. Ergo, what if he meant it?
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I'm so sorry for what's happening with your husband! Please know that you are doing a GREAT job and I can tell that you really love him! Did you tell the MD about this? If so, I am blown away! Please hang in there! God bless you!
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Husband's medication is not the right one if he is still crying. He should have started to feel better in two to three weeks if it was going to help. He would notice a change. He could have had silent strokes, TIAs. I am sorry. Time to find a team of doctors who are experts in the elderly.

It would be good if you could get to a Neurologist at a teaching hospital for a complete overview of husband's health. Look for one attached to a University Medical School. The doctors are cutting edge, on top of new developments like Ketamine and magnetic stimulation of the brain for depression. He might have brain imaging done, to check for a Stroke or brain tumor. Medicare pays for most of these medical services.

If you live a distance, can you plan a week's visit a city with a teaching hospital? People often go to Phoenix, Ariz. or Jacksonville, Florida to see specialty doctors at Mayo Clinic. There are good teaching hospitals in Seattle, and in California--UCal. San Francisco, Stanford Univ. Hospital and many more. Do you feel able to undertake a a web search?
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Dementias are mood disorders, he may be suffering from a dementia. My mother does but due to her age, 90, docs do not advise medication as it could make her symptoms worse. Also, meds would affect her heart health badly and may lead to balance issues/falls. So we insist on time outdoors in sunshine getting fresh air and proper vitamin balance. We listen to her favorite tunes on Alexa and keep conversation positive and loving.
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sunshinelife Jun 2020
Really great choices. Medications are by definiton poisons. Bless you for being a loving daughter & friend to your Mother. The Angels see the good you do :)
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sounds like its hard on you..sorry . everything passes. Please check the side effects of the medications he is on. Depression & anxiety are the side effects of most anti depressant & anxiolytics (anti anxiety medicines) And effect the quality of sleep. Without sleep we are all more emotional & unstable. To give him More of the medication would be folly. You might look into natural medicine instead. www.drweil.com has many articles on foods & herbs that support the immune and nervous system. And Dr Bach Rescue Remedy..available in many forms at all big pharmacies & most supermarkets is very helpful for emotional upsets. It is not a medication, & is all natural. Finally, you might consider 'building him up' before you correct him. I am learning that most..correction..All men have very fragile ego's. Instead of "i told you not to...now i have to..." instead "i really appreciate that you care about our dog...you are very thoughtful..."I got some healthy dog treats for him right here..would you like to give them to him?" Change isn't easy . However, every choice has a price and a benefit. Change how You think & act, & your family will follow you. Mother sets the tone for a home. "Happy wife. Happy life"
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Maybe it is time for a change in medication or increase in dosage. Sounds like his medication is not helping him. I would call his Primary and ask for a referral to a specialist in behavioral health. Med adjustments are necessary with symptoms such as his. He is suffering mentally and he needs help now.
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I was going to say the crying could be from damage caused by a stroke. My uncle had 2 strokes that he didn't know he'd had, but I had really noticed that he would become very down and cry when telling stories about the 'old days'. My mom did the same after she had 2 mild strokes. I'm not sure what kind of damage it causes, but it affected both of them to where they were much more sensitive about things and the crying would happen over things that used to never bother them before.
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MAYDAY Jun 2020
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Seek a geriatric psychiatrist
they can work with balancing meds to help
with this.

Dad got a low dose of abilify added to his
zoloft --- (abilify does have black box warnings)
What a miraculous change
The neurologist wanted to removed the abilify
for years. The one time we removed it, we started
it back up in 2 months. He never suggested removing
it again. He saw the difference in quality of life.

When anger started a few years later a low dose
of depakote (anti seizure) balanced things out.

Aunt Kay with Alzheimers after a few years had
zyprexa an antipsychotic added to her medications.
Again what an improvement in quality of life.
She became happier, pleasanter, more contented.

All medications come with warnings, a good doctor will
work with you to find medications with least side
effects that can help with a good quality of life.

The level of distress he is experiencing is not acceptable,
if there is a medication or treatment that may help him.

Also what comforts him?
A weighted blanket? A scent or fragrance?
Music? A favorite hobby, food, activity?
Any thing to distract and refocus him may help
in the meantime.
We used kids coloring books too
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