This has not happened yet, but it is the one thing I am most terrified about at this time. She has mistaken 2 of my children for 2 of my siblings, so I am starting to get extremely nervous that the day will come when I walk in to her room to start her day, and she won't know who I am.
I lose more of her everyday. But I never tire of her sweet kisses. Every night I read to her a small passage from the Bible and pray with her, when she gets in bed. I’ll do so as long as she’s still in this earth.
It is a lonely life from the bride I once knew. But she’s still my best friend!
I host a caregivers support group on Zoom. If you, or anyone reading this post would like to join in, message me at 7-1-9*6-5-0*9-3-6-9.
Don't fret don't expect anything and you will not be disappointed.
Embrace today, do not worry about tomorrow. Good Luck!
However, think how terrifying it is for your LO.
So, When my Mom doesn't know who I am, she at least
knows that I'm the nice lady who takes good care of her.
She may not know "who" you are
She may not know how you are related
What she will know is that you:
Say "Good Morning"
You take care of her
You are safe
You don't yell
You don't expect her to do things she can't do
You are there when she needs you.
You treat her with dignity and respect.
Aren't these things we all want?!
If you have to introduce other caregivers work with them for a bit before you have to leave her with someone else.
Keep in mind that her sense of time will get confused so that she won't know if it's 2022 or 1952. If she thinks it's 1952 and she's a younger woman with no kids yet, then telling her you're her daughter will confuse her.
That's what I dealt with with my mother. She thought she was 16 again and madly in love with her first boyfriend, so of course there was no daughter in the picture. She always knew me by my name, but the relationship was eventually lost to her. I was her pal, her confidante, and her sometimes tormentor when she needed wound care, but she always trusted me and never got grumpy with me like she did with her caregivers.
That way she will get used to you saying that and hopefully it will stick. And if it doesn't, it's been my experience that even if a loved one doesn't remember your name or who you are, they usually always remember that you are a person that cares for them and that they feel safe with, and in the end that's all that really matters anyway right?
Her symptoms are pretty consistent with general symptoms of dementia, so you continue caring for her as you have, identifying yourself as “I’m someone who REALLY LOVES YOU, and will continue to take good care of you and be by your side”.
The name she calls you, or the person she identifies you as really doesn’t make too much difference to her, as long as she knows you are there for her and love her.
As her care needs change/increase, remember that you don’t have to provide her care alone. Be prepared if/when she needs 24/7 care. If you have some ideas about when you need to offer her more help than you alone can give, it will help you to make that transition more peacefully for you AND for her.