My dad is 85 years old living in a long-term care home. He has severe dementia, AFib, COPD, his kidneys do not function at 100%, and skin cancer. Now I just found out he has aneurysms in both legs. Doing a CT scan means injecting a dye that could lessen his kidney function. Doing surgery to remove the aneurysms is risky for his heart, COPD and dementia. Doing nothing risks the aneurysms rupturing causing heart failure or amputation.
God bless and help you along this difficult road.
Disclaimer - I am not a medical professional nor do I profess to be able to advise you on such matters in regard to your father's health.
Take care.
my Dad was in assisted living with my Mom and I was the POA and live near just my Mom now. Dad was going in and out of the hospital and in his mid 90’s we knew no drastic measures would be physically tolerated. He did not have dementia and he personally did not want intervention because he would suffer.
he eventually went on Palliative Care and his last 6 or son months were spent on Hospice. I personally pushed for that after his last hospitalization. He needed to be treated with IV Diuretics. It his his kidneys hard. He had to stay an extra 24 hours because his kidney function had dropped. He ended up going home and eventually ended up with oxygen. During the follow up by video with the cardiologist he told me that we needed to treat Dad conservatively with meds as he could not tolerate the only treatment he could receive which was the diuretics.
I truly understand where you are at right now because it gives you such a feeling of guilt but we have to do what we know in our heads and heart what we know is best for the one we care for. My Dad passed peacefully in his room where he wanted to pass and that gives me some measure of comfort.
I hope you have a caring team of health care providers who can help guide you in the right direction. Hugs to you, it is a tough place to be but you will do the right thing
Hospitals just rush & you are a number on the system. Hospice treats people better at end of life & really home in with your dad's wishes. All the best & sending a hug
As for you, please consult a psychiatrist (who can prescribe) who can help you let go..............it's the hardest choice to make, but he/she can help you deal with the 5 stages of grief. https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/