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My two children are squabbling over financial and health care decisions of their father, my ex-husband, who had no POA or Health care proxy. My will appoints my nurse daughter as Health Care POA and both together as financial POA. I wonder now if I should ask my lawyer to be financial POA.

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Arleeda, nevertheless, it is a mistake to appoint two people as equal POAs. Appointing and outsider is always an option -- POA does not have to be a family member.

A person in my local support group arranged for her son's best friend to be her husband's medical POA. Both her son and the friend were medical doctors. She didn't want her son to have to make heart-breaking decisions, and she thought the friend was both close enough to care and detached enough to be objective.

Are your children uneducated about what a POA is, or are they just immature? If they would stop speaking to you over this perhaps neither of them would be a good choice to be your POA.
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But if I put one child in charge, then the other won't speak to me.
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Since he has dementia, he can no longer sign a POA. The only option now is a Guardianship hearing. For your own sanity, stay as far away from this as you can get.
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Your will? That won't apply until you die. You need other documents to appoint POA. I think it is a mistake to appoint two people as equal POAs. The squabbling interferes with timely decisions. One person needs to be in charge.
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