Aunt (97) is in a bad living situation. Should a POA step in?
My 97 year old aunt recently and suddenly moved in with my 95 year old dad. It was unplanned because a different living situation suddenly fell through. Neither are in good shape. Last night she drank rubbing alcohol thinking it was water. (She's okay.) She said she was hallucinating due to a migraine. Recently she also fell in the house. Last week she thought she was having a stroke (no) and went to the hospital for 2 days (the second day because she couldn't walk from being in bed). She is still getting PT for walking at home. I believe she should be in assisted living. A nephew (my cousin) has POA and his son who is a doctor has Medical POA. Can either of them step in and get her to assisted living? Should they step in? I don't know what, if anything, can be done.
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But to answer your question the POA should be responsible for finding suitable, safe living arrangements.
If they refuse to step in a call to APS would be warranted
She is the responsibility of her POAs. They don't have to care for her personally but need to find her a place that she will be cared for.
You do realize that you have no say in her care. That the POAs have to step up to the plate. You must be firm in that she cannot live with your Dad. You WILL end up doing her care unless ur cousin realizes this IS his responsibility.
This is where having POA steps in. When a person cannot make rational, safe choices any more.
She's 97--I wouldn't worry too much about the financial end of things--she likely will not live 3+ years and I bet she wouldn't want it.
If she stays with your dad, she WILL fall and that is often the thing that winds someone up in a NH for the rest of their lives. It would be better to be able to make that decision NOW rather than in a few days, frantically trying to find a place.
So, yes, your cousins can and should step in and take care of her. At the very least, some aides during the week, but if this were my mom, I'd want to see her somewhere safer than home with another elder who has problems.
At 97 she is not going to get any better, any younger, any more competent or cognitive. AL require for them to be able to do for themselves with some assistance periodically. If not, then an AL can / will place additional fees for services and it ends up being on par for the costs of a NH. Like if she cannot totally on her own order & take her medications, she will be charged $ 4 “daily medication management”.
I’d be looking for a NH or MC for her. The issue then becomes does she have the assets to be private pay for 2 years? OR is she going to need to show impoverishment & apply for LTC Medicaid for a facility? If she will need Medicaid, does she right now “at need” medically and financially for what LTC Medicaid requires? And is the POA paperwork such that they can access her banking, etc to get documentation Medicaid will want to see. On the medically “at need”, I’d ask the MD son to get her an appointment with a gerontology group to do a full work up with labs so that she has a health chart that shows her to be “at need” for skilled nursing care. If he’s not a gerontologist himself, knowing what’s needed is usually not in their wheelhouse. Good luck.
You have every right to be concerned. What are your plans for your own father?