When told we only want to help she responds 'there is nothing wrong."
My Aunty is 78 yrs old and has enjoyed a good life but over the last few years her mental health has deteriorated dramatically. She is also a heavy smoker.
She has always enjoyed an alcoholic drink, from usually around 5pm (to make her relax!!!) She has had a privileged life where she retired early in her 50's has not had to work, has a nice home and money to spend.
She has fallen twice while drunk and broken her hip, resulting in a hip replacement operation & also broken her ankle - does not remember doing it.
Memory loss increased recently, repeating herself, foot tapping, personal hygiene, (showering & toilet hygiene think she is becoming incontinent), can't cook anymore, doesn't do any housework (she was always very housepround) gets angry when she is not allowed to have an alcoholic drink which is usually around 5pm in the afternoon, she has never drank before this time of the day.
Anything out of routine she will not entertain
When she goes out usually twice a week to eat out, she always has the same food pushes it around the plate then says she's full and then wants to go home, she has lost so much weight is now only 57kilos
Goes to bed around 8.30 pm, gets up twice to make sure everything is shut up even though other people in house and gets angry when blinds & windows have been opened.
Has been caught going through guests personal bags, and some guests have noticed money missing
Has accused her daughter of hitting her when she tried to take a bottle of wine from her.
Her husband is recovering from an operation to remove bowel cancer and is taking chemotherapy, therefore unable to look after him and he has to have oxyen for a breathing problem which she objects to
I did trick her into seeing a pyschiatric nurse who did an assessment, blood test and urine test. She did not speak to me for a week, but when we went back for the results she couldn't remember going in the first place. Both urine and blood tests were ok, but he did say the score in the assessment was very low. And suggested next step to have a brain scan. Of course, we as a family cannot get her to go, and said the nurse was lying, there is nothing wrong.
We as a family do not know what to do, as she flatly refuses to go to any doctor, although we have said we love her and want to help her.
We desperately need some advice how to deal with this situation!!!! Can anyone help ?????
Also, invoking the POA (which I have) is going to cause a MAJOR battle and so I have been putting that off until things are much worse. My family is presently considering if we want to move in with my dad as he is alone. He's doing ok but is lonely and not eating like he should and of course the drinking isn't something I'd like to be around. So, it is one day at a time.
Google "power of attorney". The job of the POA is very detailed and comprehensive. Usually someone assigns a loved one to be their power of attorney but a POA can also be a lawyer or a legal guardian.
As far as your aunt goes, you may have to wait until she has an emergency and needs to go to the hospital. If this happens let the nurse know that you need a social worker. Once a social worker enters the picture he/she can assist your family in doing what's best for your aunt. Social workers have all kinds of tricks up their sleeves and will work hard on your family's behalf.