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Too young for this, yours has got to be the dumbest reponse I have ever seen on here.
Ever think he is going through all his money and won't be able to pay his bills? You know property taxes, credit card bills, groceries, etc????
How about if HHC workers need to be hired? Or if he has to go into assisted living at $4,000 or more a month? Than what?
I know, contact the strippers and hookers and those good hearted gals will send some money....LOL.
As far as meeting women online goes, he isn't meeting these women to form actual human contact, these are scammers, they're one step away from someone who would be hired to come into the home and steals.
The only thing you got right was that the OP as the ex-wife can't do anything about it, but the adult children certainly should.
Interesting you think their only concern is inheritance, sounds like you're talking about yourself.
I have a friend whose mom has had Parkinsons for several years. She is now at the point where she can't be left alone. My friend takes care of her on weekends and they have two women the rest of the time. It's costing the family $5K a month, that's $60K a year, money doesn't grow on trees.
This issue needs to be addressed by the adult children, and worrying about the inheritance isn't the main reason.
Had some trouble getting back here, I am Ex-wife02. The kids are ours, and he is an elder, 78 years old in later stages of Parkinson's His sexual obsession is much more than normal and since the women make no secret of their professions my statements were not overstated. His latest "lady" is 25, a stripper at a local club and has already taken him to the bank to cash a check and to the mall on a marathon shopping trip. When the kids wanted to meet her, she disappeared. She asked him to marry her on their first date and tried to get a $4000 line of credit at a casino using his name. In my world this sounds a little like a scam. He also has sent money overseas to women he met online. None of these females have made any secret about what they do for a living, but he will not see reason when it comes to understanding their interest in him. In his mind he is in love with them and they love him too. If this is a normal way of filling his empty life it is dangerous and will leave him broke and unable to pay for his remaining years. I thank all of you for the suggestions, I will pass along these to my kids. The judgements are because all the facts are hard to cover in this venue. I was married to this man for many years and have been divorced for 20 plus years. I have no interest other than one human for another and not wanting to see a friend come to harm.
ex wife - we have seen this problem before here with Parkinson's. I looked it up online and Impulse Control Disorder (ICD) can happen with this disease - to quote - "In Parkinson's disease (PD), ICDs most commonly include pathological gambling, excessive spending and hypersexuality " Greg Pontone, MD. It can be related to the meds they are taking and in the one instance that I recall from this site, the dr changed the patient's meds and the problem went away. His doctor needs to be informed about this behaviour as he may have a solution. Good luck to you and your children, It is good of you to try to help. Let us know what happens.
Parkinson's can alter a person's ability to think logically. The Kids should communicate with Dad's doctor and advise that dad is giving money to on line hookers. Get documentation that dad is not competent, and take that to guardianship court.
Also contact APS and see if there is something that can be done. They may be able to pursue individuals exploiting the disabled.
See if you can have someone be a conservator of his money. Put limited money in the account he uses, maybe weekly, and keep the other in a different account to pay his bills etc. Once the ladies get no money, they should stop. Also, see if you can get a record of who he has paid, and send them a notice that they are taking advantage of a disabled person and if they continue, the kids will advise "the authorities" (police? fraud unit? APS?)
I don't know if blocking his internet will work, seems like there are so many ways around this.
Finally, let Dad know how much he has spent, and how much he will need in the future. Budgeting is important. Have it written down so he has time to think about it when he isn't feeling foolish or confronted. Then offer to help him with his money.
I think the kids need to get control of the situation with a conservatorship of his money. Obviously he will run out of money and the kids will have to support him if something isn't done soon.
He is a sex addict, TooYoungForThis? Really? You can diagnose that from a short description of his behavior? I'm impressed -- not.
I believe your loved one has mobility issues. I don't know if you have ever lived with or cared for someone with dementia and/or Parkinson's. I have. Many, many people who post here have. Have a look at emjo23's post in this thread. That is a far more likely explanation than that this man is a "sex addict" and does "what a lonely man does." He has a disease. YooHoo ... this man has a disease. And you know that he is still competent because ... well, just how do you know that?
You who were so quick to conclude that his children only care about their inheritance and that is ex-wife has something to gain by trying to look out for him and now feel qualified to diagnose his problems and his competency kind of make me sad.
I have a ex who I still care about and I would be willing to try to help out children help him if I thought he was in trouble. Heck, I'd even be willing to help out my stepchildren if they were worried about my husband's ex (their mother). My ex's children each make more money themselves than he ever did and have no interest in his money, but I imagine they would be alarmed if he was going through his assets quickly and was likely to run out of money to pay for his assisted living care. Perhaps because I have these facts in my own background I did not immediately assume the worst motives of the original poster. It is sad to me that anyone's background predisposed them to jump to the worse-case-scenario conclusions and then make pronouncements based on that jump.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Ever think he is going through all his money and won't be able to pay his bills? You know property taxes, credit card bills, groceries, etc????
How about if HHC workers need to be hired? Or if he has to go into assisted living at $4,000 or more a month? Than what?
I know, contact the strippers and hookers and those good hearted gals will send some money....LOL.
As far as meeting women online goes, he isn't meeting these women to form actual human contact, these are scammers, they're one step away from someone who would be hired to come into the home and steals.
The only thing you got right was that the OP as the ex-wife can't do anything about it, but the adult children certainly should.
Interesting you think their only concern is inheritance, sounds like you're talking about yourself.
I have a friend whose mom has had Parkinsons for several years. She is now at the point where she can't be left alone. My friend takes care of her on weekends and they have two women the rest of the time. It's costing the family $5K a month, that's $60K a year, money doesn't grow on trees.
This issue needs to be addressed by the adult children, and worrying about the inheritance isn't the main reason.
His latest "lady" is 25, a stripper at a local club and has already taken him to the bank to cash a check and to the mall on a marathon shopping trip. When the kids wanted to meet her, she disappeared. She asked him to marry her on their first date and tried to get a $4000 line of credit at a casino using his name. In my world this sounds a little like a scam.
He also has sent money overseas to women he met online. None of these females have made any secret about what they do for a living, but he will not see reason when it comes to understanding their interest in him. In his mind he is in love with them and they love him too. If this is a normal way of filling his empty life it is dangerous and will leave him broke and unable to pay for his remaining years.
I thank all of you for the suggestions, I will pass along these to my kids. The judgements are because all the facts are hard to cover in this venue.
I was married to this man for many years and have been divorced for 20 plus years. I have no interest other than one human for another and not wanting to see a friend come to harm.
His doctor needs to be informed about this behaviour as he may have a solution.
Good luck to you and your children, It is good of you to try to help. Let us know what happens.
Also contact APS and see if there is something that can be done. They may be able to pursue individuals exploiting the disabled.
See if you can have someone be a conservator of his money. Put limited money in the account he uses, maybe weekly, and keep the other in a different account to pay his bills etc. Once the ladies get no money, they should stop. Also, see if you can get a record of who he has paid, and send them a notice that they are taking advantage of a disabled person and if they continue, the kids will advise "the authorities" (police? fraud unit? APS?)
I don't know if blocking his internet will work, seems like there are so many ways around this.
Finally, let Dad know how much he has spent, and how much he will need in the future. Budgeting is important. Have it written down so he has time to think about it when he isn't feeling foolish or confronted. Then offer to help him with his money.
Good luck.
I believe your loved one has mobility issues. I don't know if you have ever lived with or cared for someone with dementia and/or Parkinson's. I have. Many, many people who post here have. Have a look at emjo23's post in this thread. That is a far more likely explanation than that this man is a "sex addict" and does "what a lonely man does." He has a disease. YooHoo ... this man has a disease. And you know that he is still competent because ... well, just how do you know that?
You who were so quick to conclude that his children only care about their inheritance and that is ex-wife has something to gain by trying to look out for him and now feel qualified to diagnose his problems and his competency kind of make me sad.
I have a ex who I still care about and I would be willing to try to help out children help him if I thought he was in trouble. Heck, I'd even be willing to help out my stepchildren if they were worried about my husband's ex (their mother). My ex's children each make more money themselves than he ever did and have no interest in his money, but I imagine they would be alarmed if he was going through his assets quickly and was likely to run out of money to pay for his assisted living care. Perhaps because I have these facts in my own background I did not immediately assume the worst motives of the original poster. It is sad to me that anyone's background predisposed them to jump to the worse-case-scenario conclusions and then make pronouncements based on that jump.
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